Dolphin sucker review

The Dolphin Sucker was NOT my cup of tea. Right off the bat I had an inkling that my newest toy and I were not going to get along well...

Problem #1: The battery case wouldn't shut. After I inserted the two AA batteries, for the life of me I couldn't get the cheap plastic door to snap shut. Eventually I decided to just forget it and play while the door to the little mammal's power house rattled incessantly. However, unable to take the noise any longer, I finally wrapped the controller in tape to clamp the door shut and quiet the toy, even so, this was still one noisy little dolphin.

Problem #2: Getting the Dolphin Sucker to suck on your pussy is harder than it sounds. For some reason I thought attaching a big suction cup to my sacred flower would be hot. But there was nothing sexual in the positioning of this device. After several failed attempts to create suction with the dolphin cup, I finally had to stand with my back to the mirror, bend over, and physically open the doors of my vagina and force this reluctant guest in. His sticky jelly-like molding ripped out a few pubic hairs during the process...ouch!

With the little fucker inside, I got to work. I conjured up a juicy fantasy, rubbed my body down with wonderful oils and waited to cum...and I waited and waited.

Problem #3: The forty something little "tantalizing ticklers", despite their numerosity, remained worthless. Excited as I was, the ticklers on the vibrator did not please me the way I had hoped they would. In fact, I couldn't even feel them working. Also, this is a little secret that the Dolphin Sucker box won't share with you, cleaning your jizz out of all those tiny ticklers is quite a chore.

Problem #4: After this experience I decided suction is for vacuum cleaners and dentist equipment, but not for women's sex toys. I am sure there are plenty of exceptions to this statement, but I found the suction to create very uncomfortable sensations. I released the pressure with the quick release button, but was then disappointed because I could hardly feel the vibrations unless it was sucking relentlessly on my lady parts.

Problem #5: The vibrations were comparable to having sex with an inexperienced and desperately horny teenager. Despite the vibration adjustment dial, it felt as though this vibrator only had two speeds, the bit-too-fast speed, and so fast I that I now have an incredible urge to scratch ferociously at my cunt speed. I found neither to be desirable.

Needless to say, the Dolphin Sucker never got me off. It only made me incredibly frustrated and I used on of my good ol' trusty bullet vibrators to finish the job.

After playing with this complicated three piece set I decided that sometimes simplicity is all that we ladies need.