Lady finger - clitoral stimulator by Doc Johnson - review by Timaree

If you've never tried a vibrator before and find yourself a little intimidated by a big, hulking beast like the Hitachi or overwhelmed by the complexity of the Rabbit, this cute pink little gizmo will be an easy introduction to sex toys. It's small, intuitive and simple, operated by two AA batteries. There's nothing confusing about using it and the unique shape means that there is plenty of room for improvisation and creativity with use.

The look is clunky but cute: not unlike Wall-E. It's obviously plastic, the kind that enables this toy to be priced so low and the type that ensures it won't survive too much abuse. The control is especially cheap looking and the dial that determines the intensity of the vibration is positively old-school. It reminded me of the volume on the Walkman I had in the mid-80s. That said, if you don't need your toy to look like fine art, you'll be fine with it's appearance.

The shape is unique: something like a submarine or a dirigible. There is a large, football-shaped main body that seamlessly attaches to a base which is designed as a finger-shaped rest so you can more easily manipulate the toy. I, however, found the the ergonomically shaped finger rest to be uncomfortable, as the vibration made my fingers go numb. That said, for some one desiring a less intense vibration than I did, it could be the handiest thing possible.

The size is adorable: it's big for a bullet, small for a full vibrator and round and colorful like a pleasantly plump cartoon character. The design is not unlike something you'd find in a Happy Meal. It looks clearly like a sex toy when attached to the controller, though, so don't expect to be able to leave it out on your coffee table and think you're getting away with anything.

I had great expectations for the Lady Finger, having known some incredible bullets in my day. This one, however, was like the kind of cheesy give-away that gets handed out at a bachelorette party along with penis straws and boob-shaped ice cube trays. Knowing it used only two AA batteries, I was a little skeptical of the kind of power it could harness. But I went in with an open mind. The first batteries I tried weren't brand new, but they had been working just fine in another vibrator the day before. I learned quickly that the Lady Finger has expensive tastes: only brand spanking new batteries will make it useful beyond making noise and a frustratingly small amount of vibration.

Upon trying a new set of batteries, it woke up a bit and started sputtering away like an old fashioned car. The racket it made was ridiculous, approaching the level of decibels of a lawnmower outside your bedroom window. The pleasure provided from the vibration was promising at first and I tried a number of angles, positions and movement patterns in the ensuing minutes. I found myself pleasantly surprised for awhile that such a clunker could take care of business, providing such ample vibration. But I require more than the Lady Finger was able to give and within 15 minutes the battery had already been drained substantially. I could feel the power sapping as the vibration slowly, painfully waned from the bullet. It never died, but I couldn't finish with it and had to switch to another model to get the job done.

According to the manufacturer, one of the positives of this vibe is it's easy clean. Due to the smooth, hard plastic exterior, it's a breeze to wash. I wouldn't recommend boiling it, but a hot water rinse could be adequate, as would a toy cleaner and rag combo. The range of lubes usable on it seems pretty unlimited since it's plastic: no worries about silicone degrading it.

It stores easily, either nestled in the box in which it came or slipped into a bedside drawer. The size is conducive to hiding easily.

The toy arrived in a perfectly sized little box without too much excess packaging. To be honest, I never even looked at the directions because the design was so simple and easy to understand on sight. Anyone can figure this thing out by looking at it if they've ever handed so much as a remote control.