Smartballs - vaginal balls discontinued by Fun Factory - review by User Unknown

In general, I thought Smart Balls were a functional, quality product. The packaging was great, the sensations were great, I can't really come up with a reason not to have them. They're a worthwhile purchase.

First off, the Smart Balls packaging quite impressed me. It was obvious without being obnoxious. There was even little magnetized flip open information wings on the back that, in several languages, said that the product is safe, quiet and easy to clean. The side informs you that you should “love yourself", that the Balls are 100% Elastomed material, where they go, AND where they don’t go (such as the nostrils, or ear canal); complete with pictures in case of any lingering doubt. Apparently they are also made in Germany, which the packaging declares at every given opportunity.

The cool thing though, as the helpful (and very multilingual) instructions say, is that the packaging is eco-friendly. The company encourages its customers to “dispose of packaging in an environmentally friendly manner”. So, for those of us who value eco-friendly packaging: very cool.

Onto the actual product. Out of the package, I didn't find any new toy smell. The texture was smooth and velvety. They are, in fact, very quiet. If you shake them violently at an arms length, you can faintly hear a sound similar to one of those cat toys; where the cat bats the ball around the plastic track. The material really is quite smooth and firm, and the retrieval string seems very dependable (a comfort if you really don’t want to go fishing them out). The little connector between the two balls, with some slight twisting and bending also feels pretty sturdy.

Upon insertion, they were a tad bigger than I’d expected. But certainly not “large”, or unmanageable. A dab of lube spread over the top of each ball, and in they went. Interesting. As the solid inner balls rotated within the Smart Balls, I could feel the vibration-like sensations and experimentally hopped a few times. There was a little noise, kind of like my stomach was rumbling; only a smidge lower. It definitely wasn’t loud, and different actions made different level sounds. In the odd case that someone did hear it and ask, you could always say you skipped breakfast/lunch/whatever and you’re starving.

As far as the purpose of exercise, I did feel my muscles working to keep them in, and it was quite a satisfying workout and definitely reminded me to do my kegals. So as far as I’m concerned, purpose achieved. The sensations were a little silly feeling, but purpose definitely achieved.

Obviously, these are not anal toys, and using them in that way is dangerous. A quick wash with warm water and gentle soap, or toy cleaner, before and after use is suggested. Also, silicone lube may damage the product, so to reduce the risk of damage, water based lubricant is the best choice (a small packet of this is included in the box). The instructions also say that pregnant women wanting to use this product should first talk to their doctor or midwife.

I continue to use the Smart Balls on a...semi-regular basis. Just owning them helps me remember to do Kegals, because I'll think about them and rather than go get them and wear them, I'll just do my Kegals. Or actually go and get them and use them.

I'd still be a little concerned about wearing them out in public for fear of the lower one slipping out. You can't just reach down and adjust it in the middle of the grocery store (unless you're a dude and they actually are your balls), so for now, their use is restricted to within the home or very nearby.

I have run into one slight hitch. Removal, unless you've been wearing them for an extended period of time, and have become quite wet, is a bit uncomfortable. It's not major pain or anything, but if you're going to go quick half hour to one hour sessions, be prepared for a little discomfort upon pulling them out.