Hunk o' Junk
Jesse's Climactic Climaxer was a huge disappointment for this sex toy connoisseur. I was optimistic when I bought it, but every time I attempted to use it I hit a wall.Published: March 30, 2008
Pros:
It's one of the only jelly toys I've ever found that actually smells good.
Cons:
It's too large, too weak, and too awful to belong in my toy box.
I've always been a big fan of California Exotic toys. Whether I'm shopping with solo or couple play in mind, they either have exactly what I want or something very similar to what I've been looking for. I've found so many greats by them that when I received the Jesse's Climactic Climaxer I was in for a bit of a shock.
I love clit pumps, I love the idea of making something bigger. Maybe it's a fetish, maybe it's not, but I bought this "clitoral pump" with the hopes that I'd actually be able to pump with it. Unfortunately, this doesn't pump at all. The entire mouth of the toy is a floppy suction cup; it's big and odd shaped, making it difficult to get a proper seal. To be able to have it stick I had to spread my vaginal lips as far apart as I could, wipe off any and all lubrication, and smack the toy against the skin surrounding my clitoris. Unfortunately, the cup was large so it covered a lot more than my clit and the only part of the toy that actually touched my clitoris on occasion, was one of the nubs. The nubs or "pistolettes" rubbed me the wrong way; They're hard as a rock and the last time I used this toy, one of them managed to push back my hood and irritated me to the point where I had to stop masturbating with it.
I wanted to try to use Jesse's Climactic Climaxer during sex but it proved to be impossible. The shaft was 7 inches long and not flexible in the least, making it awkward to maneuver through various positions. I also had to stay dry, in the past I've had a problem with getting excessively wet, and every few minutes I had to pat my nether regions dry so the suction cup wouldn't slide off. I was highly annoyed that I had to bring a wash cloth into bed with me because being too wet prevented me from using the toy.
The biggest disappointment of all is that this toy lacks power. It takes AAA batteries and I have yet to find a toy that has the juice I want that runs on AAA batteries. Even with fresh batteries this toy had only one setting, low. Also, it did NOT have a dial base, I could only slide it from 'off' to 'on' and vice versa. While using this, even when it was properly placed, I was unable to have an orgasm. One of the worst feelings in the world is wanting to have an orgasm but not being able to, and after 30 minutes of trying I had to stop torturing myself. When I finally turned the toy off, my vagina was angry!
I firmly believe that one person's junk is another's joy, but Jesse's Climactic Climaxer has turned me into a cynic and left me with little faith that it is a toy worth purchasing.
I love clit pumps, I love the idea of making something bigger. Maybe it's a fetish, maybe it's not, but I bought this "clitoral pump" with the hopes that I'd actually be able to pump with it. Unfortunately, this doesn't pump at all. The entire mouth of the toy is a floppy suction cup; it's big and odd shaped, making it difficult to get a proper seal. To be able to have it stick I had to spread my vaginal lips as far apart as I could, wipe off any and all lubrication, and smack the toy against the skin surrounding my clitoris. Unfortunately, the cup was large so it covered a lot more than my clit and the only part of the toy that actually touched my clitoris on occasion, was one of the nubs. The nubs or "pistolettes" rubbed me the wrong way; They're hard as a rock and the last time I used this toy, one of them managed to push back my hood and irritated me to the point where I had to stop masturbating with it.
I wanted to try to use Jesse's Climactic Climaxer during sex but it proved to be impossible. The shaft was 7 inches long and not flexible in the least, making it awkward to maneuver through various positions. I also had to stay dry, in the past I've had a problem with getting excessively wet, and every few minutes I had to pat my nether regions dry so the suction cup wouldn't slide off. I was highly annoyed that I had to bring a wash cloth into bed with me because being too wet prevented me from using the toy.
The biggest disappointment of all is that this toy lacks power. It takes AAA batteries and I have yet to find a toy that has the juice I want that runs on AAA batteries. Even with fresh batteries this toy had only one setting, low. Also, it did NOT have a dial base, I could only slide it from 'off' to 'on' and vice versa. While using this, even when it was properly placed, I was unable to have an orgasm. One of the worst feelings in the world is wanting to have an orgasm but not being able to, and after 30 minutes of trying I had to stop torturing myself. When I finally turned the toy off, my vagina was angry!
I firmly believe that one person's junk is another's joy, but Jesse's Climactic Climaxer has turned me into a cynic and left me with little faith that it is a toy worth purchasing.
Follow-up commentary
6 months after original review
I'm a firm believer in second chances. While some things can change your mind, some others really can't. A good example of a toy that has disappointed me time and time again is Jesse's climatic climaxer.
While there are so many elements that make a toy great there are equally just as many elements to make it bad. This clitoral vibrator is a prime example of a good idea souring when it's put to production.
I've tried numerous times to enjoy this, I switched up the batteries (literally going through six different brands) trying to find one that gave it the power I needed. Unfortunately, it's just not a very powerful toy. I need juice, I need a motor that revs and this toy just couldn't produce strong enough vibrations to get me off.
I give myself kudos for trying this over and over but I need to cut my losses and realize that this just isn't the toy for me.
While there are so many elements that make a toy great there are equally just as many elements to make it bad. This clitoral vibrator is a prime example of a good idea souring when it's put to production.
I've tried numerous times to enjoy this, I switched up the batteries (literally going through six different brands) trying to find one that gave it the power I needed. Unfortunately, it's just not a very powerful toy. I need juice, I need a motor that revs and this toy just couldn't produce strong enough vibrations to get me off.
I give myself kudos for trying this over and over but I need to cut my losses and realize that this just isn't the toy for me.
This content is the opinion of the submitting contributor and is not endorsed by EdenFantasys.com
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your reviews are great
Aw, thank you, BBW
Also, I want to add that this is Jelly. Jelly is highly porous and contains phthalates which are body harming. A material like this needs to be covered with a condom to prevent bacteria from absorbing into the material and to prolong the life of the toy. However, how will it be able to suck? It won't. I tried and I tried and I tried but it didn't do a thing.
Does anyone have any questions about Jesse's Climactic Climaxer?
Clitoral pumps also interest me, great review!
good review!
I thought this looked like it wouldn't really work and you confirmed it. Thanks!
thank you for the review!
great review
Your title caught my eye, but that sounds like it describes the product well. Thanks for the review!
great review
Thanks