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No need to grow a pair...

Sometimes our pussies misbehave. Sometimes, they've just been through a lot and they need to be gently coaxed back to the growling tigers they once were. Other times, you're a classy perv who needs a little something to get you through the workday that won't land you on the sex offender's registry. Whatever the case may be, Smart Balls are a discreet, silent way to get your kitty purring again.
Published:
Pros:
Virtually undetectable in public situations, unique sensations
Cons:
A little bigger than expected, may not always feel anything at all
Rating by reviewer:
4
extremely useful review

Use

I have heard nothing but praise for Fun Factory's Smart Balls from the get-go -- women from all backgrounds had almost unified compliments ranging from general improvement in tightness, increased arousal, and lubrication. While I wouldn't say my experience with them fundamentally altered my life for the rest of forever, I can see where other women found such dramatic results. However, for women like me who already do regular Kegel exercises and for those who haven't had children, these are likely not going to turn your pussy into some kind of miracle machine that spouts rainbows and demolishes poverty with every orgasm. In short: They will be a fun novelty, but you will probably not report the same amazing results as a lot of others -- and that's okay.

That being said, it is a neat little toy that is ridiculously simple but efficient and can be used casually, literally on a daily basis if you really wanted to. If you're active, especially if you run or walk regularly, you may find these are a way to add a little extra to your day, if only for an hour at a time.

Do be cautious, as these are slightly larger than many realize; they're not monstrous in size, but I was definitely surprised when I took them out of the package. If you have a smaller vagina, go elsewhere for your Kegel balls and work your way up -- your vagina will thank you later!

There have been suggestions of using these anally, but I would strongly advise against it; I do not think this toy is at all suitable for anal play, especially with the lack of an appropriate base.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Everyone
    • Travel friendly
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Travel friendly

Material / Texture

Elastomer is pretty good stuff. There's no obvious smell or taste, though the surface is a bit 'grabby' (in a non-threatening way, of course!), so you might consider an investment in lube to make sure these go in smoothly. These feel quite hard from the outside, which can make insertion uncomfortable if you're not relaxed. There's no give in the material (it kind of defeats the purpose), so make sure you're primed to go before trying to push these in! It's not like a tampon, ladies...unless your tampons are egg-shaped with a small, rolling ball inside, in which case I really want to know what kind you're using!

The texture is fairly inconsequential. They are slightly ribbed, but I can't imagine anyone using them in such a way that it even matters, save for a general design element -- especially given that the ridges run vertically up the ball instead of horizontally. So, even during initial insertion, you likely won't be able to tell the difference.
    • Bumpy
    • No odor
    • Not porous at all

Design / Shape / Size

The shape is not perfectly round, which is something I can appreciate. They're a little more oblong, which makes initial insertion a tad easier and is also conducive to the flow of the toy. There is no nylon cord and everything is elastomer, including the connecting piece between the two balls. As much as I feel a little negative about the size of the balls, I do think that once they're inside, the size is sufficient to really feel the vibrations.

Beginners may find the size intimidating, but it's certainly no monster. Size-wise, it's kind of middle-of-the-road: just a bit above par for a beginner's size, but certainly no size queen's wet dream.

Performance

What's best about this toy is that it is a quiet way to get off in the company of strangers.

No, let me rephrase that.

It's a quiet way to masturbate at work.

No, let's try again.

It's a toy that doesn't require batteries, a harness, a suction cup, a hug, or existential validation. It is quiet and discreet and so easy to wear when you're going about your daily business and want to feel especially pervy amongst just about anyone.

However, don't let the use of the word 'vibrations' in this review fool you: this is not like a vibrator at all -- the sensations are different from that. The inside of the Smart Balls is textured, and sometimes the feeling is a quivering or shaking. At other times, it is more of a vibration, and sometimes you just can't feel it at all unless you violently pelvic thrust and risk arrest for public indecency. Indeed, this supposed perception-shifting destroyer of many female universes was just 'okay' for me, which is why I would recommend it to someone more active. Wearing these to a club to dance would probably be heaven, but if you're a couch potato or work a general, sitting-down office job, it's not about to break any new territory for you anytime soon.

Care and Maintenance

Since elastomer is non-porous and generally non-fussy, hot water and soap will clean the Smart Balls up nicely. Beware of the small grooves in each ball, as residue can stick to the little crevices there; so make sure you're not inadvertently breeding a ticking and infectious time bomb on your sex toys. Any lube your pretty little heart desires will suffice.
    • Difficult to store
    • Easy to store

Packaging

In a world of tacky, pseudo-pornographic women making exaggerated and grotesque faces on the boxes of cheap vibrators everywhere, Fun Factory has kept it classy. The box is clean and no-frills, containing just a plastic mold around the balls themselves (which can be used for storage, if you want) and a small booklet in many different languages that illustrates some of the toy's features and its use. I think it would make a decent gift in the package it comes in, and it would not be immediately obvious that its contents are sexual. They do a good job of serving both uses of this toy and wrapping it up in an all-purpose package, which makes it accessible to all kinds; women who are shy will not feel skeezy handing this to a cashier, and it simultaneously reminds you that it's not just a sex toy, but can really be a great therapeutic/medical device for helping recondition a pussy that may be just a little out of tune.
    • Discreet looking packaging
    • Good for storage
    • Very informative

Personal comments

Since this product is not about trying to make my pussy tighter for me, I tried to stay positive about its good features for those of us with considerable pelvic floor strength to begin with. I have to be realistic -- if you're already doing Kegels and there's a toy out there that you want more than this one, I would save this one for later. It's not a disappointing investment, nor is it terribly expensive, but I just think that you can get maximum usage and potential out of other sex toys.

When I inserted them the first time, I was already sufficiently aroused -- and then nearly fell down a flight of stairs when I realized I'd gone weak at the knees. Bearing in mind that I'm not necessarily using them as a way to tighten things up or to work my pelvic floor muscles, I find they work the absolute best for me when I'm aroused, but not ready or able to get down to business then and there. It's then that I find their greatest potential for me, if it wasn't obvious by my near-death experience in a moment of brain-stalling pleasure.
Follow-up commentary
I've given these a fair shake and have come back to report a few little tidbits to follow-up to my lukewarm review. I wear them when I remember and have noticed a few benefits outside of the typical pelvic floor strengthening that these were intended for. It seems that these have helped stimulate a bit more natural lubrication, and over time they become easier to insert not because of the myth of the 'stretched' vagina (especially since one of the benefits of the toy is to tighten things up again), but I feel that I have more control down there -- relaxing completely when they go in and tightening when the balls are set in place.

I can't speak for the level of orgasms I achieve with regular use, as coma-inducing climaxes have already pretty much been the standard even before the advent of this toy, but I can imagine this being a great kind of foreplay before settling down for some solo action. After all, great foreplay often does pave the way to great orgasm anyway! Either way, I'm not complaining.

All-in-all, while I still don't see these changing my life anytime soon, there are a healthy handful of great benefits, even if you've already got killer Kegels.
This content is the opinion of the submitting contributor and is not endorsed by EdenFantasys.com
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This review was edited by
  • Selective Sensualist Selective Sensualist
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Comments
  • leatherlover
    leatherlover  
    Thanks for the great review. I wish my wife would have had better success with these.
  • The Curious Couple
    The Curious Couple  
    Thanks for the awesome review!
  • TheSinDoll
    TheSinDoll  
    Nice review!
  • Velocifero
    Velocifero  
    Thanks, guys! Still getting used to the whole reviewing thing, finding a consistent style and such. Much appreciated.
  • A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople)
    A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople)  
    Great review! Love your color choice
  • BrittaniMaree
    BrittaniMaree  
    Thank you for your review
  • FieryRed
    FieryRed  
    Fantastic and very enjoyable writing style! My ADD keeps me from getting all the way through some longer reviews, but yours was a pleasure. Thank you!
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