Not the best flower for my garden.

My initial instinct was that I wouldn't like this toy. I was right. This toy has proven to me that you can be penetrated and yet not feel anything. There are better vibrators for the same price or less. Look at them before buying this toy.
Published:
Pros:
It's cute if you're into heavily gendered things. It wouldn't hurt even if it were thrown at you.
Cons:
Soft, weak, annoying to insert batteries, not functional and waterproof at the same time.
Rating by reviewer:
2
extremely useful review

Use

The IDEA of this toy is great. Swirling flower texture teasing you every inch while the vibrator hums away..glorious.

This is a pretty standard vibrator made for those people who like for their penetration to occasionally buzz. It's not curved or wider at the top for g spot stimulation. It has no attachment for your clitoris. The vibrations themselves are focused in the very top of the vibrator, so if this toy works for you at all, it would probably be best for a slow, teasing session.

There is no flare to the base. Keep it out of your butt. The design helps you here, because I can't imagine anybody successfully inserting it anally.

I can see this being a good toy for beginners (in an alternate universe) because of its size, price, and softness. It's hard to be threatened by something with so many flowers. My friend actually received this as her first vibrator at the same time I got mine. She was disappointed, too.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Bachelor/ bachelorette party
    • Couples
    • Solo
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
    • Tub/shower/pool
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Clitoris
    • G-spot

Material / Texture

Oh, TPE, you're so..mediocre. I'm not even much of a materials snob. This toy may have turned me off from TPE forever. I've met flaccid penises that are more solid than this stuff. It's wobbly. The vibrator version of Jello. My first instinct when I opened the box was not to immediately take my pants off, as most toys tempt me to. I swung the vibrator around a bit and made it bounce. You can fold it in half. It doesn't become more solid when you take your shirt off. (Penises: 1 Vibrator: 0) It also has a faint plastic-y smell if you put it too close to your face. Like everything else about this toy, it's not overwhelming. Next, please.

If the toy was more solid, the texture would be great. I love texture. I could feel the ridges a little bit when this was used with some vigorous thrusting, but couldn't feel the toy at all at my normal speed of masturbation. This texture in any other material would be too much for beginners, but a beginner could definitely handle this toy. I doubt anybody can get much pleasure out of it, but it definitely wont hurt you.
    • Flexible
    • Light odor
    • Somewhat porous

Design / Shape / Size

This section of the review is going to be incredibly biased, because I hate stereotypically 'girly' toys. In most cases I even find them offensive. The only reason I agreed to accept this as a free gift was because I thought the texture would feel nice. Some people are into super pink, flowery things. I am not.

Bias aside, if this toy were a bit more solid it would be pleasurable. It has 6 inches of insertable length and a circumference of 4 1/2 inches. This is a hair bigger than the product page specifies, but my product appears to match the size shown on the viewer.

It's not realistic looking, but anybody who has seen a vibrator in the past 20 years is going to know what it is. I don't think it would be particularly hard to travel with. It's a decent size and bends well, so you could shove it in the corner of a bag. The more shy owners may want to take something else if their bag is going to be searched, because it is obviously a sex toy. It's also, at least in my experience, nearly impossible to hold this without giving it a good bounce.

This might be okay for a first vibrator if you're incredibly inexperienced and sensitive, but I really can't bring myself to recommend it even in that situation. I just found absolutely nothing about this toy appealing and gave it two stars only because it stayed together during my first use of it.

Functions / Performance / Controls

I had to have help getting this vibrator to turn on. It comes with no sort of instructions on how to insert the batteries (put them in facing opposite directions). Most electronics have, at the very least, plus and minus signs where they are needed so you know that you're inserting the batteries correctly. This has nothing beyond what size batteries you need. In addition to having an unnecessarily difficult battery setup, it is possible to twist the cap so far that it pops off its track and comes open. A poor design feature in a toy that tells you in multiple places to MAKE SURE you close the cap all of the way so it's waterproof. Shut it, just don't shut it too thoroughly. You'll find the spot, provided you place the cap on the ridges just right so that it screws on evenly. Since you can't screw the cap on too tightly, it's not completely waterproof. A shower session left the battery compartment damp. I didn't manage to kill it, but it has a small rust spot on the inside as a memento.

Once the batteries are correctly in place, a twist dial controls the different speeds of vibration. There are no distinct speeds on its little sliding scale. The whole vibration range is pretty weak, in my opinion. I can't feel any of them in my vagina and they do nothing for my clit either. I don't crave much power in my toys. Hitachis scare me and I can typically only get off from the middle speed on toys. There's hardly any vroom here.

On the plus side, it's quiet. You will be, too.
    • Hard to figure out
    • Not enough variety
    • Weak

Care and Maintenance

Wash this with warm water and soap. Easy peasy. Don't try to boil it or clean it with anything harsh (like bleach), or you will likely wilt your little flower. The box works fine for storage. Those with a larger collection may want to keep it in a plastic bag or cute little pouch to keep it from collecting any fuzz or dust. It's a magnet like most soft materials. I had never seen an eyelash stuck to a vibrator before I owned this one.

Silicone and water lubes will work well with the Petite. Oil will not. Again, it will melt/wilt your little flower.

I don't know how toy cleaners will react with this. I don't have any on hand to test them. If you have a mild product that says it's safe to use with TPE, I would assume that it's okay. I've had a similarly made Doc Johnson vibrator peel apart after a month of being washed with warm water and incredibly mild soap. So far I've not had the same problem with this one. Either it's more hardy or I haven't had it for a long enough period of time.
    • Easy to clean
    • Easy to store

Packaging

The toy comes packaged in what I have come to assume is the Doc Johnson standard. A clear plastic box with a clear plastic holder on the inside. I appreciate this when I'm shopping for toys in person. It's always nice to see what you're actually getting, so you know it isn't gross.

I do wish that for this toy they sprung for an instruction booklet. I had a lot of trouble getting it to work. The only useful information that the box contains is that the vibrator is waterproof (four times), to tightly close the cap (two times), and that it is made out of TPE (three times).
    • Good for storage
    • Not discreet

Experience

I tried this for the first time while a lovely person I know was going down on me. Usually vibrators and a tongue drive me crazy..this time it didn't. We tried different motions. Twisting. Just using the toy on my clit. Nope. I couldn't feel the vibrations when it was inserted vaginally, and on my clit I just didn't find it pleasing. We threw it to the side so I could enjoy my session of oral without constantly asking if he was SURE it was on all the way.

Partner's response: "Well, you said before you even got it you thought it was a three star toy at the most." Being right isn't always fun.

I really did try to give it a second chance. A few days later I brought it into the shower with me, because sometimes it's just easier to try new things by yourself. It's so floppy I couldn't even get it in all of way. I tried rubbing it on my clit, grinding up against it, and even flipping it around to see if the plastic handle did anything for me. Nothing. I can hardly get turned on, much less get off with this toy.

Remind me to return aforementioned lovely person's calculator batteries to him. I'm more likely to get off from him doing math.
Follow-up commentary
I gave it a fair second chance, and it still disappointed. There was the battery fiasco all over again even though I knew the secret. My partner teased me with it for a bit, but it didn't tease any better than my other vibrators. It was still difficult to insert and was incredibly weak. I was more aware of a sweet plastic smell that I found unappealing. I teased my partner with it a bit, but we ended up throwing it out directly afterward. My other vibrators were more fun for him, too. There was no reason to keep it.

Just make sure you take the batteries out before you toss it. It's not their fault.
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This review was edited by
  • Andromeda Andromeda
  • Rank:
     
    5.9
  • Edited reviews: 3
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Comments
  • markeagleone
    markeagleone  
    Loved the review! My wife and I weren't overly taken by ours, either.
  • BadassFatass
    BadassFatass  
    I haven't tried mine yet and with the reviews I'm reading...I might keep putting it off. Thanks for the review.
  • Fuck it.
    Fuck it.  
    Thanks for reading, guys. I'm going to keep it around for a while to do a follow up...but I don't expect it to be nice.
  • ~LaUr3n~
    ~LaUr3n~  
    I love the humor
  • Fuck it.
    Fuck it.  
    Thank you!
  • Gigi128
    Gigi128  
    Thanks for the review.
  • Stinkytofu10
    Stinkytofu10  
    Thank you for the review.
  • Jon S
    Jon S  
    thanks
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