Sparkling Genitals, Now With 60% More Sparkles!

A seemingly fun item, that becomes no fun after it sheds glitter on you due to its cheap quality. Uncomfortable and unappealing when actually put to use.
Published:
Pros
A shiny thong and blindfold you use for couples play.
Cons
Everything about them. Cheaply made. Plain thongs and blindfolds would work better.
Rating by reviewer:
1
extremely useful review

Use

The Extreme Pure Gold Blindfold and G-String can be used in a number of ways. The most obvious of those is to wear the blindfold over your eyes and the thong over your genitals, but I must admit to consider using them vice versa in order to be more extreme. At that point is when the true fun kicks in, as the wearer is left in a thong with a blindfold, and any mischievous lover can find entertaining usage there. For instance, teasing various parts of the body while the blindfold is on can be great fun! However, that's not exactly something new, as the human race has had the skill to create blindfolds for quite some time now.

Due to the ease of use (putting them on), virtually anyone can find some sort of use for this product. The product's title suggest usage in BDSM, but I would disagree with that remark. The relatively tame garments here along with the poor workmanship would probably make most of that community scoff.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Bdsm
    • Everyone
    • Sensory play
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Travel friendly

Design / Craftsmanship / Material / Size / Fit

And here's where the product falls completely over on itself. The broad design of the pair is that it's a blindfold and a thong, two things which should be relatively hard to screw up. You can go to your local Walmart and find shelves upon shelves of the things in sections for women. Somehow though, this easy design task was completely and utterly failed.

To begin, the material is cheaper than the cheap stuff found in dollar stores. There's a mixture of polyester and cotton, with vinyl or some other material acting as a trim on the blind fold. The elastic straps for the thong sound like a great idea at first, successfully creating a "one size fits all" aesthetic. However, it also leads to an extremely uncomfortable and itchy usage, which lead to my wife getting out of it as soon as possible. The next problem area is combination of materials used in the blindfold, which serve to irritate your face and pain your nose. The vinyl trim mentioned earlier rides into your face, and the smell emanated by the material means that you probably won't want to wear this thing without hand washing it first. In lots o' soap.

The final nail in the materials coffin is the glitter. In order to be more extreme, both garments are covered in a sparkling leopard print, which I surmise was created by hot gluing gold and silver glitter to them. No matter what we did, whether it was wash them, wear them, store them, look at them, it didn't matter: the thong and blindfold found some way to get glitter all over us. If you have a deep seated fantasy of being Edward from Twilight, there are probably few sexy ways to have a penis that sparkles, but this is certainly one of them. For the rest of us, it's probably better to not risk getting glitter on our genitals and inside our orifices.
    • Flimsy
    • Mixed material

Performance

To put it bluntly, this kit did not work for us at all. There were certainly fun times to be had here, as the blind teasing turned out quite fun and it's definitely an avenue I'll be using in the future. But everything else was just so poor quality that it ruined most of the mood it managed to build up. That's a pretty huge shame too, as there's only a few categories a thong and blindfold have to perform in, and yet this set tends to miss even those meager goals. A thong should make its wearer sexy, but also not cause them so much discomfort that it gets in the way of activities. This one marginally adds sexyness, but the thong itself is stiff enough that it fits awkwardly and has elastic straps that unsightly in and of themselves. The blindfold does succeed in shrouding your eyes in darkness, but only if your nose can tolerate the strong smells contained.

More importantly, this kit doesn't perform when it's time for you to perform. Most movements spread glitter everywhere, and my paranoid mind can only imagine the problems created by too much glitter getting in either one's eyes or orifices. Luckily, the garments are easily removed when it does finally come time for other activities.

Care and Maintenance

I'm honestly not sure how to care for this product, or if it's even intended to last for more than a few uses. There are no instructions in the box, on the box, or even on a tag to tell you how to safely wash and dry it. We played it safely by hand washing them in a bowl with soap water and leaving them out to dry, but the makers of the product apparently couldn't care less if you wanted to care for your own products. That's my theory at least, considering that there's absolutely no mention of where to store it or how to clean it.

For storage, we opted to keep it separate from other items and clothing. Following with the theme, I chose not to have my underwear or other toys to get covered in glitter, so it was stored in its own personal little cove.

Packaging

The packaging is roughly as cheap as the product is. It comes in a generic cardstock box, with some bullet points of info on the back and some bad photography. When opened up, you find your new, sparkly garments in plastic baggies. It's absolutely no frills, and gets the job done. Even so, the packaging just feels tacky, perhaps due to the mediocre design that went into it.

Personal comments

In closing, I would like to clarify that this product can certainly get its job done. If you're wanting to experiment with teasing play, this thong and blindfold might be just for you. But you could probably find a much sexier and more practical blindfold and thong at Walmart. Perhaps, a nice black pair would go better with the suggested BDSM play. But not this set. I was originally looking forward to this set, but now I only want to be rid of it. It was a good idea, with horrible execution.
Follow-up commentary
Some other reviews have come and were a little more positive than mine was. It was suggested that a full machine washing or two can help cure the glitter issues this set has, so that may be something you can try if you would like to order this. However, we still don't like this set and have only used them a few times since as a result. I would much rather just use some sexy black lingerie and a typical blindfold.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.

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Comments
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  • Contributor: Ms. Spice
    sorry this didn't work for you. thanks for the review
  • Contributor: married with children
    thanks for the review. They look like they are very cheap. SOrry they did not work better for you
  • Contributor: Spilock
    Me too, actually. I was hoping the pair would be a lot of fun after I got the assignment, but the implementation wasn't as good as the idea.
  • Contributor: SiNn
    awesome review ty
  • Contributor: Triple X Moma
    Great review!
  • Contributor: Peggi
    well that's not good! A friend of mine owned something similar to these, she had the same issue, and when she tried to wash the thong (by hand) it started unraveling in a few areas!!!

    Sorry you don't like it! Thanks for the warning...er review!!!
  • Contributor: faust
    nice review
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