Strumming me like a "G"uitar

An amazing g-spot and clitoral vibrator and massager for under $20, the Dream Massager G will wow you with its power and deep vibrations. It is remarkably quiet, easy to clean, nonporous, phthalates and latex free, and it will fill you up to the brim! I thoroughly enjoyed this toy and heartily suggest it to anyone looking for a girthier g-spot experience.
Published:
Pros:
Solidness, amazing depth in vibrations, larger size, price point.
Cons:
Nonsterilizable, claims to be waterproof but is not.
Rating by reviewer:
4
extremely useful review

Use

Obviously, this toy is meant to massage the g-spot. It has a few other not-so-obvious uses, though. For example, it's an excellent clitoral stimulator, with the g-spot tip providing excellent pinpoint stimulation, and it helps engage the kegels around the large middle bulb. The possibilities are endless, really. You can stimulate the nipples, the anus (though I do not suggest inserting it, as there is no real flare to the base), and even using it as, gasp, a massager on the neck, shoulders and back!

I've only used this in a solo situation, but I'm sure it would work well for couples, provided the person receiving the toy is vocal about discomfort.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Solo
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Campus/roommate living
    • Tub/shower/pool
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Clitoris
    • G-spot
    • Shoulders

Material / Texture

This toy is solid, smooth, and soft, though not plush. It's made of very hard, nonporous, hypoallergenic, phthalates- and latex-free plastic, with absolutely no give or flexibility, coated with a velvety smooth material. Because this is so rigid, and because there is no flexibility or give, I would not immediately suggest it for beginners.

The only texture to speak of is on the vibration controlling mechanism, which are tear-drop shaped indentations about half an inch apart. There are two seams running along the insertable part, but they are only visible; you cannot feel them even with your finger.

This material isn't sticky, so it doesn't pick up lint, which is a total plus in a household with two dogs. This lack of stickiness allows for smooth insertion without much lubrication necessary. I did not smell any smell or taste any taste upon opening.

The main feature of this toy are two of its three bulges: the g-spot tip, the super large bulge, and the bottom one that's not insertable. More on these later.
    • No odor
    • Not porous at all
    • Rigid

Design / Shape / Size

To me, the Dream Massager G looks like many other vibrators out there. If you left it out, it would probably be recognizable as a sex toy or maybe a children's toy at best. Besides that, I do really like the design.

It is just under 5 inches insertable, with the g-spot curve consisting of 2 inches, the middle bulge consisting of 2 inches, and final concave part (where the opening of your vagina is supposed to rest) consisting of 1 inch. The g-spot tip is 4" in circumference (1.27" in diameter), the widest part of the middle bulge is 5.25" in circumference (1.75" in diameter), and the narrowest point in the concave part is 4.25" in circumference (1.35" in diameter). Because of the size of this middle bulge and the rigidity of the material, I cannot recommend this to absolute beginners, though this would be suitable for moderate to advanced users, or anyone that knows they like being extremely full. I really liked the royal blue of mine; it's not extremely feminine like the pink or purple, so it's suitable for men who would like a large prostate vibrator.
    • Moderate to advanced users
    • Not discreet

Functions / Performance / Controls

To turn this big guy on, simply rotate the dial on the bottom two-thirds of the battery cap, a location which is very convenient to use during play. The dial is easy enough to turn that you might accidentally jiggle it during play, but not by enough to change the level of vibration. The total range of vibrations is 5 tear-drop shapes, or about 30 "minutes" if you were looking at it like a clock. The first tear-drop is off, the second tear-drop is low, then medium-low, medium, then the last tear-drop is high. The largest jump between theoretical settings is between medium and high.

The vibrations are based at the base of the g-spot hook, just above the middle bulge. These vibrations are not for the weak! They're very deep, thrummy, throbby, and trembly, not buzzy like most other vibrators, and it's not truly a constant vibration--more like a very, very fast strumming or throbbing. Even on low, if you put the tip of it on your nose, you will feel the vibrations throughout your face, through the cartilage in your nose, your mouth, your tongue, even up to your forehead and scalp. And that's just on low. On high, when set on my bed a few feet away, the amazing vibrations were felt via the mattress, all the way on the other side of the bed! Now, imagine those vibrations coursing through your body, directly against your g-spot... It's absolutely divine.

The vibrations, on high, are heard under a couple layers of covers, but hardly heard from 3-5 feet away and under covers, so it's fairly discreet. You won't hear this through a door or down a hallway. This toy does claim waterproofness, however during a test while washing it, I noticed some water leakage under the gasket. I probably will not submerge this completely, but I will take it into the shower, but that's just me.

As for batteries, it takes two AA's that are easy to insert and easy to take out. I did have some issues putting them in and taking them out when I was first putting batteries in, but they have since gone away. For some odd reason, when screwing and unscrewing the cap, you sometimes get unexplainable bursts of vibrations, even if you aren't turning the dial. It's not really a big deal, however, as it doesn't make the vibrator difficult to hold on to. I'm using rechargeable batteries and I have used this toy in total about 2 hours, and they are still going strong.

The Dream Massager G got incredibly warm after about 20-30 minutes of constant use on high. Not warm enough to burn on contact, but definitely noticeable. If you do notice it getting very hot, Cal Exotics suggests turning it off and letting it cool down before continuing use.
    • Easy to use
    • Long lasting power
    • Powerful

Care and Maintenance

Because the Dream Massager G is made of solid plastic with rubber/velvet cote, it can be washed in hot water with soap or rubbed down with isopropyl alcohol or spritzed/wiped down with your favorite toy cleaner. It's as easy as that. Unfortunately, it cannot be sterilized, so, no boiling or putting it in the dishwasher.

Plastic and rubber cote can be used with water- or silicone-based lubes, but not oil. Only use lubes that are compatible with rubber.

It's easy to store because it doesn't pick up lint. I keep mine in a plastic zip-lock bag in my toy box, but you can easily put it virtually anywhere that's cool and dry. I would be careful in keeping it with sticky toys because it may adhere to the other toy.
    • Easy to clean
    • Easy to store

Packaging

The Dream Massager G came to me in a very normal plastic box, looking like something you would pick up at your local sex toy store. There were no naked women, surprisingly, only a window to see the toy and a few claims on what it could do, such as gyrating and rippling, a soft rubber cote, that it was whisper quiet, and waterproof. I wouldn't call it discreet, but it's not vulgar, either.

It came with some great instructions, including how to insert the batteries, what you should do if you have an electrical malfunction, and some instructions for use. I wouldn't use this as a storage box, personally, but it definitely could be used in a pinch. It had a clear plastic tray that would make a great nestling spot in a drawer.
    • Good for storage
    • Very informative
    • Recyclable

Experience

Literally running from the mailbox to my bedroom, I tore through the packaging and scrambled for some batteries to put in this monster. I twisted the dial, the excitement was almost tangible, and... nothing. It didn't do anything. Zero. My heart sank; I had read a few of the customer comments about this product not vibrating. I turned the batteries around, thinking maybe the little diagram showing the directionality was wrong. That wasn't it. Frustrated, I looked for some other batteries. Maybe it was the batteries themselves. I put them in their slots, making triple sure on the direction. I twisted on the cap. Eureka! It strummed, it thrummed, it shook.

Oh, my, and how amazing it was. I started it out on my clit, strumming away to a slow but powerful orgasm. I must say, that orgasm is probably in my top 5 clitoral orgasms of all time. It was that great--and I hadn't even inserted it yet! Upon insertion, I realized just how large 5.25" of bulbed goodness really is. It's really big, and even after a few uses, it's STILL really big. I wish I could say that it immediately found my g-spot, but I think the g-spot hook is just not hook-y enough. I'm still newish to g-spotting toys, and my g-spot for that matter, but it's just not quite there. With some maneuvering, it does hit my g-spot, however, so it does its advertised duty. I don't really like to thrust it because of its size, so I usually play with my clitoris while it's inside of me.

This toy will be near my bedside if nothing else for its clitoral orgasms. I've never had such a deep, thrummy, throbby vibrator.
Follow-up commentary
I'm starting to wonder if the motor is going on this one. The batteries don't last very long at all (they need to be replaced after every 30 minute use) and the vibrations aren't as strong.

That said, it's still holding up well as a dildo for use as something to squeeze on. I don't go for it too often anymore.
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Comments
  • ~LaUr3n~
    ~LaUr3n~  
    EXCELLENT review! I was wondering when one of the middle reviewers would snatch this up! Nominating this for the weekly best review Keep it up!
  • Blinker
    Blinker  
    Great review! I get frustrated with G spot vibes because I usually have to contort into freakish positions to get it just right. This one does look fun for clit stimulation though.
  • Annemarie
    Annemarie  
    @Lauren Thanks so much!

    @Blinker I'm the same way... I need such a supercurve that it's difficult to find one that works right for me without any odd positions.
  • bzzingbee
    bzzingbee  
    Great review. I love the color of this one!
  • Annemarie
    Annemarie  
    Thanks bzzingbee! I really liked it too... I tend to avoid pink and purple toys because there's just so many of them out there, and they're just not my most favorite colors.
  • Fanny
    Fanny  
    Nice review! I'm attracted to the shape of this one.
  • XXXXXXXXXXXXX
    XXXXXXXXXXXXX  
    Nice review
  • Online
    Online  
    good review
  • cupcake191986
    cupcake191986  
    good job on the review
  • SapphirexIce
    SapphirexIce  
    Thanks for the Awesome Review!
  • boobookittyfuk
    boobookittyfuk  
    Great review! Thanks.
  • bigboybig
    bigboybig  
    Thanks for the review
  • Elnoa
    Elnoa  
    Looks cute.
  • badk1tty
    badk1tty  
    I'm bummed at the battery life, 30 minutes makes an inexpensive toy a bit more pricy. Thanks for the review.
  • Stinkytofu10
    Stinkytofu10  
    thank you very much for the review.
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