The blonde starlet "my perfect ass" - masturbator by Cal Exotics - review by oldman

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An ass like no other, but is it perfect?

I don't know who designed this masturbation sleeve, but certainly he/she/they are amateurs in the wonderful world of male masturbatory sleeves. The anus opening is tight and may be uncomfortable for some--it is the only reason the sleeve stays in place during use, but does it have to be that tight? It does stretch very much so not many men will have difficulty penetrating. This may be a better sleeve for extremely large men, but for Joe the plumber, it goes down the drain.
Published:
Pros:
fits larger men, vibrator can be used by women, tight opening
Cons:
ineffective, loose, material is so stretchy it can easily tear
Rating by reviewer:
2
extremely useful review

Use

"The Blonde Starlet, My Perfect Ass" is a masturbation sleeve in an unusual shape. For those out there in the medical profession, it looks like a CPR protective breathing mask and a rather floppy , hollow "thing" protruding from the backside of the toy. In the middle of the "butt" there is an entrance hole for your penis. The hole is barely 1/4" in diameter so I was wondering how I would relax this blonde starlet enough to let me glide inside her. With an erect penis, and much lube, I was able to enter by using my fingers to stretch the opening and guide my penis in place. OK, T minus 10 and counting. The attached sleeve is flat and quite large. Inside it has numerous spikes (soft, not prickly!). The material is so soft and stretchy that when rubbing my cock with the sleeve in place, I could not feel the nubs. I can not see anyone with less than 8" and a lot of girth enjoying this sleeve. I am slightly above average (about 7.5") and I had plenty of extra room, which made it hard to keep a good rhythm going.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Couples
    • Male masturbation
    • Solo
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • On a bed only
    • Tub/shower/pool
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Travel friendly (in checked baggage to prevent a potentially embarrassing bag search)

Material / Texture

The "Perfect Ass" is made from Ultra Pure Skin (trademark of Swedish Erotica), made in the USA by California Exotics (copyrighted). It is like a soft, squishy, spongy material. Have you ever played with those balls that are soft and swishy with fringes all over? I think they are called "Koosh" balls. This material had the same texture and feel. When I opened the box it came in, I was struck by a familiar fragrance. It is strong, but not overpowering. Actually, my wife and I both found it pleasant, however, when in use, I was not able to smell anything. I can describe the scent as reminding me of two totally different fragrances, and yet the same all at once. The first scent it of a teeny, weeny baby, all fresh after his/her tubby time and sprinkled with baby powder. The second is of my wife after she has bathed and put just a small squirt of my favorite perfume on and as she approaches me, her robe drops to the floor. She continues towards me and....oh, I digressed for a moment, but you get the picture. We do not have a place for the "Perfect Ass" in THAT picture. From the EDENFANTASYS site I found that TPR is a rubber polymer (chemically speaking, an artificial rubber)"... that is less porous than Cyberskin but more porous than silicone". Because it is so porous, it absorbs organic material and is a great place for bugs to attach themselves to the material. For a longer lifespan of a TPR product, it is important to always use a water based lubricant. If anyone is interested, my "Blonde Starlet" was produced on May 18, 2011. Maybe when she grows up, she'll be more fun to play with!
    • Flexible
    • Light odor
    • Porous

Shape / Design / Size / Fit

Although the "anus" is quite small, with alot of stretching and a healthy dose of lube, I had no problems entering while erect. A flaccid penis does not stand a chance, lube or no lube. The masturbator itself is quite large so, with the kind assistance of my wife (applause, please), we were able to get her fist through the anus and the sleeve stretched halfway up her forearm. There are not many men that have pleasure sticks larger than that. In fact, the sleeve stretched so much, it became translucent. When she took it off, it easily went back into shape. I think the majority of people would know how this item functions. It needs to be kept in a private spot and away from the children (and other prying eyes). It can be wrapped in a few paper towels to disguise it and placed in a plastic bag for storage. It is lightweight and folds into a small package so it can easily be placed in checked baggage or carry on..BUT...should you be selected for a baggage search, it may be an uncomfortable situation for all involved.
    • Will fit most people

Functions / Performance / Controls

There is a vibrating bullet with a remote control attached by wires that can be inserted into a hole behind the anus. While the vibrator is quiet, it does not fit well in the space provided. It is easy to control with one hand with a wheel that you control from low to high. There are no patterns, only a steady vibe that barely reaches the penis and was annoying to my action hand. It does work well for women. I found the wires got in the way when I tested the vibrator. The remote is not waterproof. The vibrator is quiet and would not be heard from the other side of the room, there is such an abundance of TPR material surrounding the vibrator that it insulates the sound.
    • Not very stimulating

Care and Maintenance

The material in this item is TPR, rated a 6 on EF's spectrum of safetyness. Now, here is where it really gets strange. On the side of the package, in BOLD letters, you see that this masturbator is SOLD AS A NOVELTY ONLY. Does that mean I should have only looked at it or as my wife did, see how much of my arm I can ram inside? It goes on to say, again in bold letters, "DO NOT IMMERSE IN WATER", and to WASH before and after each use. I don't know about you, but I would use a bowl of warm, soapy water and wash in that and then rinse under the faucet and then dry completely. It can be turned inside out to dry. It goes on to tell the consumer to use a water based lubricant for maximum pleasure. The final warning from the company, "This product is intended for use as a novelty only. For external use only. Any product use for medical purpose or for a use that has an adverse effect on an any function of the body is prohibited." Clearly, this is not intended by the company as a masturbation toy and should be enjoyed only by looking at it and playing with this sqishy toy. It is kind of fun to toss it around. In the future, I will only enjoy "The Perfect Ass" as a novelty item. The box was so confusing I'm still not even sure what this is for! However, if you are brave enough to use this for masturbation, if you plan to share, please use condoms and wash both the sleeve and any penis that enters the Blonde Starlet. Safe sex is good sex.
    • Easy to store

Packaging

This is packaged in a small paper box that is very easy to open. The name of the product and a rather hot picture of a blond woman is on the front and back. There are no instructions, except a vague explanation on the outside of the box. Inside the remote is a small piece of paper showing you how to place the batteries. If this were a gift, it would be very easy to wrap attractively. The shape is flat on all sides. You can use it for a storage box, but is unlikely to last very long. After washing (or cleaning with a toy product) and making sure it is completely dry, I would sprinkle cornstarch inside because of the sticky/tacky feeling of the TPR. Then I would wrap a few paper towels around it, again to absorb any possible moisture, and place in a plastic bag. I would toss it in my night table drawer.

Personal comments

I will attempt to use this masturbation sleeve several more times. Maybe, like mushrooms, it is an acquired taste! Stay tuned for my follow up comments!

Experience

The sleeve, even with an erect cock and lots of lube kept getting caught up in itself and short circuiting my hand motions. It was so loose that had the butt not been there to prevent the sleeve from coming off, I am sure it would have easily fallen into my hand many, many times. I persisted for at least 30 minutes and felt just about nothing. Zip...zippo...nada. I decided to call in the big guns. A vibrating bullet, with a remote control, is part of the package. I placed 2 AA batteries (not included) easily into the remote control and then placed the bullet into a small hole in the rear of the "ass". The remote has a wheel that you can slide with one hand from low to high. The bullet does not come anywhere near your penis. Do these people get off by vibrating their hands? If they do, I want to learn the technique since that is where I felt the vibrations, and barely at that. The vibes to my fingers were really annoying and I had to remove the vibrator completely, which was a good idea, the bullet was being spontaneously ejected and had to be readjusted frequently. So, I got off to another start at T-minus 10...9...8...7...6....Houston, we have a problem. I had been trying so hard and long to get off with this that I was losing my erection. I took the sleeve off and using my hands only, I attempted to get my rocket in position for re-entry. OH NO! Houston we have another problem.... My rocket went off early! Aw, heck, this "Perfect Ass" is not so perfect, after all.

My use of the "Blonde Starlet, The Perfect Ass" was not stellar. It failed and I finished off by hand, which was certainly not the outcome I was hoping for. The vibrator egg did nothing to enhance this sleeeve for me, but we find it useful for my wife. At least something works. The only reason I am giving it 2 stars is because it is very inexpensive and it may work for really large men.
Follow-up commentary
Using The Blonde Starlet "my perfect ass" is like using a thick condom with an opening on each end; in other words, "Why bother?"
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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This review was edited by
  • Viktor Vysheslav Malkin Viktor Vysheslav Malkin
  • Rank:
     
    6.5
  • Edited reviews: 28
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Comments
  • Viktor Vysheslav Malkin
    Awesome job buddy! Very informative yet has some great humours moments. Love it!
  • The Curious Couple
    Very nice review! Thank you!
  • oldman
    If anyone sees this, I tried it out a few more times--still find it useless. The actual sleeve is flat and smooth--not much more than an open ended condom--and what good is that?
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