Chasey Lain deluxe personal vagina - realistic vagina by Topco Sales - review by The Cunning Linguist

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Chasey should be ashamed of herself.

Why spend $65, when you can go outside and fuck a sidewalk crack for free? Seriously, this toy is ugly, painful, and generally horrible in every way. Save your money and buy a more expensive vagina.
Published:
Pros:
I didn't have to pay for it. Included an autographed photo of Chasey Lain (but she is not that hot).
Cons:
Very uncomfortable, to the point of pain. Ugly and cheap looking. My penis is still afraid of it.
Rating by reviewer:
0
somewhat useful review
It had been a while since I had received an item to review, so I was very excited to find out that I was going to get to try the Chasey Lain deluxe personal vagina. When it arrived, I was amused by the false advertising on the package. The picture on the box looks like an actual vagina with soft pubic hair, and glistening, pink lips. Inside the box was a hard rubber, brown vagina with the most ridiculous pubic hair I have ever seen. The pubes looked like they were recycled from a cheap 1980s baby doll. They repulsed me, so I removed them immediately. Despite all this, I was hopeful that it would feel better that it looked.

When it was time to test out my new toy, I took it into my man room, turned on some porn, and prepared myself. I tried the included “Chasey Lube”, but soon realized that it must have been manufactured by the Elmer’s Glue factory. After washing that tacky mess off, I settled in with my own personal lubricant. Even after applying it liberally to myself and the toy, insertion was nearly impossible. The rubber material was so hard and stiff that I had wrestle myself inside of it. I managed to penetrate and fuck the thing, but I soon wished I hadn’t. It was awful. The rock hard vaginal lips and the unforgiving teeth lining the sleeve made it very painful. After only a minute, my dick had already decided that orgasm was not an option, and was painfully waiving the white flag. I was visibly red and somewhat swollen afterward. Cleanup was easy; I simply threw it away. [NOTE: If you want to experience cock pain on more than one occasion, be sure to thoroughly clean this toy with soap and water. Since rubber is very porous, condoms are recommended.]

For anyone reading this review, I apologize for not testing it with the included multi-speed bullet vibrator, but I refuse to put my dick anywhere near that thing ever again. I cannot, in good conscience, recommend this product to anyone, including my enemies. This toy is easily the most painful way to waste money ever. There are much better uses for $64.99 than a penis torture device.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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Comments
  • Backseat Boohoo
    It definitely doesn't look as nice as some of the other realistic vaginas, and I can tell just from the photos that the pubic hair is really poorly manufactured. Eek!
  • The Cunning Linguist
    The funny thing is that the pubic hair was like yarn, all in one long strand, just woven through the rubber. It was really gross looking. Stay away!
  • Victoria
    You and I differ, I would totally recommend this vag to my enemies Smile ...well, at least everyone had a good laugh at the expense of your penis...thanks for making this review humorous!
  • Oggins
    Ugh! Thanks for the warning!
  • The Cunning Linguist
    In the pink: Remind me to never get on your bad side Big smile

    Oggins: You're welcome. I feel that it is my responsibility.
  • Viktor Vysheslav Malkin
    Nice review Big smile

    I like your "pro" Tongue out
  • residency27
    it does look a bit scary
  • Kcito
    rubber toys,,,oh no
  • DeliciousSurprise
    wow... YIKES!
  • toxie m
    Holy goodness! What an experience, sorry you had to go through that but thanks for putting the warning out there
  • Miss Jenn
    Def will not get this for my husband!
  • Fuck it.
    That's horrifying. How do things like this get made?
  • SadoMas
    tyty
  • asandahl
    Thanks!
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