Tenga egg masturbator by Tenga - review by Captain Stubing

I gotta tell you, not to be mean or anything, but the Asian population can sure come up with some remarkable marketing items. You could sell these things out of a vending machine! The packaging is fantastic, and the idea is brilliant. The functionality of the man pleaser is pretty good too. You can chuck this thing in your pocket and nobody would know. Heck, you could put it out for Easter and some kid would think he/she got one of those wall crawler toys! There are some Downsides and there are some Upsides, so here we go:

On the Downside, trying to get your man parts inside this thing is obscure. Every time you attempt to slide in, you have to burp it like Tupperware. The Upside is that once you get burped, it makes this really cool suction on your um...HEAD if you know what I'm sayin'. The whole thing is about the size of a regular chicken egg, so I don't care if you're a 13 year old trying to use it, you're gonna have this experience.

On the Downside, the thing looks like a stressed out Water Weenie when you're stroking the pole. On the Upside, there's a nice and tight fit. I'm generally watching a video when I please my Polish Pal, but I couldn't avert my eyes from my penis trying to make an escape from the clutches of the egg! Imagine Howie Mandel when he used to do his rubber glove routine...now picture your dick and this egg! Needless to say, in order to finish, I had to put the egg down.

On the Downside, it's a little hard to hold onto when your hands are all juiced up. On the Upside, you don't have to worry about not having enough ssssqqqquuuueeeeezzzeeee. The Egg is made of some kind of stretchy silicone that's super soft and unique. That being said, you're supposed to use a water based lube, but I HATE water based lubes so I used a silicone lube (naturally I tested it first and there were no adverse reactions). I'm the type of guy that likes it sloppy, so maybe you could add a little less and have more control.

On the Downside, I didn't use it long. On the Upside, it was a snap to clean! Turn the sucker inside out, use some antibacterial soap, and Voila! cleaner than a holding tank at a douche factory!

As soon as I laid my palm on this thing, all I could think about was shoving my head into the couch and start watching Mork & Mindy reruns. For the younger generation, it was a sitcom back in the late 70's with Robin Williams acting like a coked out alien, in reality...he was just a coked out actor.