Tenga egg masturbator by Tenga - review by Captain Stubing

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Greetings Earthlings...Nanoo Nanoo!

All in all, for the price and fun factor, what a great item. This is the kind of thing that makes knuckling out a few baby makers truly enjoyable! If you buy one, it doesn't really matter which "model" you choose, the only differences are the textures inside and the way this stretches out, you'd never know the difference.
Published:
Pros:
Compact, Discreet (the label comes off), Weird
Cons:
Hard to hang on to, Can't keep from smiling at it!
Rating by reviewer:
5
useful review
I gotta tell you, not to be mean or anything, but the Asian population can sure come up with some remarkable marketing items. You could sell these things out of a vending machine! The packaging is fantastic, and the idea is brilliant. The functionality of the man pleaser is pretty good too. You can chuck this thing in your pocket and nobody would know. Heck, you could put it out for Easter and some kid would think he/she got one of those wall crawler toys! There are some Downsides and there are some Upsides, so here we go:

On the Downside, trying to get your man parts inside this thing is obscure. Every time you attempt to slide in, you have to burp it like Tupperware. The Upside is that once you get burped, it makes this really cool suction on your um...HEAD if you know what I'm sayin'. The whole thing is about the size of a regular chicken egg, so I don't care if you're a 13 year old trying to use it, you're gonna have this experience.

On the Downside, the thing looks like a stressed out Water Weenie when you're stroking the pole. On the Upside, there's a nice and tight fit. I'm generally watching a video when I please my Polish Pal, but I couldn't avert my eyes from my penis trying to make an escape from the clutches of the egg! Imagine Howie Mandel when he used to do his rubber glove routine...now picture your dick and this egg! Needless to say, in order to finish, I had to put the egg down.

On the Downside, it's a little hard to hold onto when your hands are all juiced up. On the Upside, you don't have to worry about not having enough ssssqqqquuuueeeeezzzeeee. The Egg is made of some kind of stretchy silicone that's super soft and unique. That being said, you're supposed to use a water based lube, but I HATE water based lubes so I used a silicone lube (naturally I tested it first and there were no adverse reactions). I'm the type of guy that likes it sloppy, so maybe you could add a little less and have more control.

On the Downside, I didn't use it long. On the Upside, it was a snap to clean! Turn the sucker inside out, use some antibacterial soap, and Voila! cleaner than a holding tank at a douche factory!

As soon as I laid my palm on this thing, all I could think about was shoving my head into the couch and start watching Mork & Mindy reruns. For the younger generation, it was a sitcom back in the late 70's with Robin Williams acting like a coked out alien, in reality...he was just a coked out actor.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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My Tenga egg masturbator tags
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Anyone
    • Bachelor/ bachelorette party
    • Gag gift
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Travel friendly
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Genitals
This review was edited by
  • Kindred Kindred
  • Rank:
     
    6.7
  • Edited reviews: 1216
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Comments
  • P'Gell
    P'Gell  
    Great review. Entertaining! Were you able to use the Tenga Egg more than one time?
  • leatherlover
    leatherlover  
    Great review and I like the Mork and Mindy reference.
  • Captain Stubing
    Captain Stubing  
    I only used it once but I could have used it several times. I'm not sure where the rumor came about that it's a one use only item.
  • namelesschaos
    namelesschaos  
    Good entertaining review.
  • MagicVibe
    MagicVibe  
    Thanks for the review!
  • dudemeister
    dudemeister  
    Thanks for the review.
  • Lady Neshamah
    Lady Neshamah  
    thanks for the review :3
  • Eucaly
    Eucaly  
    Thanks for the review!
  • Kush
    Kush  
    thank you
  • SexyStuff
    SexyStuff  
    Thanks!
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