My penis deserves an apology

This is absolutely not worth purchasing. The product is badly designed, cheaply made and provides no pleasure. At this price point there are much better products out there.
Published:
Pros
It's wrapped in bubble wrap.
Cons
Everything, poor quality, bad design, not pleasurable, wasted my lube.
Rating by reviewer:
1
extremely useful review

Use

The Throb Master does not come packaged with directions but it is pretty easy to figure out what you need to do. As with any other product, I would recommend washing it before your first use. (Washing instructions are in the Care and Maintenance section below.) Once you have done that find your favorite water-based lube and lube up both yourself and the sleeve. Once you get lubed up you can either insert yourself into it and pump the sleeve up or pump the sleeve up first and then insert. Honestly, either way will be disappointing for you. I found there to be pretty much three levels of tightness achieved: this is uncomfortable, it’s a good thing I’ve got a new bottle of lube and I feel sad for whatever dick gets crammed in here. What this means is that you really do not have as much adjustment as they would want you to believe. Also, once you do get it to a point that you find somewhat acceptable the air will slowly work itself out. If you are able to get this to be pleasurable for you then you can use it like a normal masturbator. Since there is a hose attached it’s not as easy to wedge it in a location like some like to do.
    • Busy men
    • Cyber
    • Fast session/quickie

Material / Texture

The Throb Master contains ABS plastic (container), TPR (sleeve) and PVC (hose and bulb.) The product was pretty much odorless out of the packaging although the sleeve did have a slight odor that I couldn’t really pinpoint as to what it reminded me of. The sleeve’s odor did go away after the first washing with soap and warm water. California Exotic describes the texture as “life-like, soft, textured pleasure chamber with multiple ticklers.” I will give them that it’s soft and that there are multiple “ticklers.” I did not find it to be life-like to anything that I have ever touched and the ticklers are more annoying than anything as they are long and way too soft to provide any sensation for me. They actually got in the way when I attempted to move in and out of the sleeve. I think a more typical sleeve design like what they use in their Jack Master would improve this aspect of the toy greatly as I would feel bad describing this sleeve a pleasure chamber.

Shape / Design / Size / Fit

The Throb Master isn’t the biggest toy out there at only 6.25 inches long and about 10 inches in circumference. The sad thing about the size of this toy is the sleeve at only 5.25 inches long and 5.5 inches in circumference (girth). That means that you need to be less than 5.5 inches in girth to even somewhat think of trying to enjoy this product. There is some give to the sleeve and the plastic that encases it but not enough to make it enjoyable for me even with no air pumped in it. I would say if you are going to give this a try and are over say 5 to 5.25 inches in circumference that you make sure you have plenty of lube around and if you are over 5.25 to 5.5 inches to just stay away. Also, I found the shallowness of it to be rather annoying as there is very little give at the end. It’s not a super hard wall to bump into but it’s not soft.

If you have ever had your blood pressure taken then you are all aware of the cuff they place around your arm. That is exactly how I would describe the inspiration for this except it’s unfortunately not your arm getting squeezed here. The inflatable sleeve/cuff/torturer is held to the outside plastic case with what looks like double sided tape. This does not seem to work all that well as when I took this out of the package the one side had already started to peel away from the case. I found that when inflating and deflating that the rest of it began to separate too. This becomes a problem because they use one big piece of tape ran around the top of the sleeve to attach it to the case. At this point, my sleeve is barely being held on by maybe 20% of the original tape. While I’m on a mini rant about that I would like to mention the fact that the actual case itself has separated where the black base is glued to the smoke cylinder. That renders this product even more useless to me unless I feel the desire to superglue or epoxy it back together.

Functions / Performance / Controls

I laugh at the “controls” for this product. The hand pump allows air to seep back out through the intake hole even with the release valve closed very tightly. At first it was extremely noticeable that air was escaping through it because I could hear it. It then stopped or at least I thought it had stopped but when I placed the hand pump up to my ear I could hear the air escaping and if I left it sitting on the table I would come back to find it had aired itself back down. It is easy enough to pump the sleeve back up but really it would be annoying to have to constantly be pumping it while you are trying to enjoy yourself. When pumping the hand pump does make some noise that could potentially be heard through a door which just further exacerbates the air seepage problem. The loudest noise though is when releasing the air with the release valve. I did not use this product near water but I would anticipate this would be fine in water. The only caveat I see is to keep the actual hand pump out of the water so that it doesn't suck water in via the intake hole.

Care and Maintenance

The sleeve can be cleaned with just soap and warm water. You can either let it air dry or towel dry it before storing it. I would recommend leaving the cap off until the sleeve is fully dry. The cap doesn’t stay on very well though so that may be a mute point. I found with the amount of lube that was required to use this that the container needed a good washing as well. Since it is normal ABS plastic soap and water works for it as well. California Exotic recommends using water-based lube only with this product. I would second that recommendation as there have been issues with using silicone-based lube with products made from TPR. If your favorite lube happens to be silicone-based then I would recommend testing a spot on the outside of the sleeve. If you do not see any reaction at all to it then you should be good to go for using that particular silicone-based lube. Just know that there is still the potential for damage.

Packaging

The packaging was actually my favorite part. You want to know why? Bubble wrap!! Yes, the highlight of this product for me was the fact they wrap it in bubble wrap before putting it in the box. The box is humorous to me just because I found it somewhat absurd. It’s obvious that the person who wrote the information on the box is not well-versed in English. I also think they copy and pasted information from their penis pump boxes. The “important cautions” on the side are all related to using a vacuum pump. This product is far from a vacuum pump as it creates zero vacuum and does not necessitate these warnings at all. The funniest thing to me though was on the front of the package where they have a resounding endorsement from the American Pumpers Association that claims the Throb Master is an “Innovative New Product.” I thought this was a little ridiculous so I did a Google search and could find absolutely nothing on the American Pumpers Association. I take the endorsement on the front to be completely made up and it’s not even that great of an endorsement. It did give me the idea to start making claims that the Jewish Reviewers Association endorse my reviews and think they are awesome.

Experience

I had somewhat high hopes for this product but if I had paid just a little more attention to the size of the sleeve I most likely would not have requested this. However, it seemed great when I first looked at it which is how I’m thinking it was for the designers. This has to be one of those products that sounds great on paper but fails when implemented. I disliked this product enough that I didn’t even use it for more than 2 minutes each time I tried it. That’s actually being generous as it may have been only a minute or so. I tried it a total of 3 times and ended up finishing manually or switching to my Vibro Glow Fleshlight because I got absolutely nothing pleasurable out of this. The title for this comes from the fact that I did apologize to my penis for using this. We have a close bond and I didn’t want this product to ruin that.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.

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Comments
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  • Contributor: M121212
    LOL! Pros: it's wrapped in bubble wrap??? Brilliant!
  • Contributor: Lindsey123
    Bubble wrap? I'm buying it.
  • Contributor: Kissy
    Great review. Thanks!
  • Contributor: ILikeShinyThings
    Geez, sorry to hear about the crappy product. At least you were able to pop the bubble wrap
  • Contributor: Trysexual
    Maybe if you swapped the bubble wrap for the "ticklers" it would feel better?
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