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My Penis is NOT a Musical Instrument!

Lacie Heart's Pocket Pal is a nearly perfect toy. It's length is good, the thickness is great, the internal ribbing is very stimulating, and the bulk of the toy hefty. The material feels semi-realistic and the look of the toy is appealing. I just can't get over the noises this toy makes, music and sloshing.
Published:
Pros:
-Length
-Bulk
-Internal ribbing
-Very stimulating
Cons:
-Makes my cock into an instrument and I don't like it
Rating by reviewer:
4
extremely useful review

Use

There are so many good things about the Lacie Heart Pocket Pal. It's large in length and has a good tightness, the ribbing is stimulating, the grip is perfect for large hands, and the material is soft. This isn't even the entire list. However, there is one thing that makes me think I don't want to use this again, the noise. I can deal with squishy sloshy noises. But this, this is different. It makes music. Yup, music. My cock's head apparently turns the ribbing into a xylophone which is incredibly distracting. Without that, this masterbator is damn near perfect. So, if you don't have a pronounced head, find making music with your penis cool, or are not easily distracting by noises during your solo masturbation sessions, Lacie is an excellent choicSe.
    • Masterbation
    • Solo

Material / Texture

The package says this is made of phthalate free TPE with a Sil-A-Gel formula. It also says UR3 on the box. The formula is anti-bacterial, non-toxic, latex and cadmium free. I'm not really sure what the addition of TPE and Sil-A-Gel does to Ur3 (the old picture of the box doesn't show these additions), but it feels like regular UR3 to me except with more density and resilience. It feels a lot stronger than regular UR3. UR3 is a very nice feeling material, especially for realistic toys, but it isn't very safe in terms of cleanliness. It is very porous and can't be shared without a condom. Toys of this type are pretty pointless with a condom if you ask me. They also should be cleaned before and after using them.

Softness: The material is very plush and has a sort of life like feel to it in that it has some drag when pressure is applied and less if you have a soft touch. It is squishy but not sticky and can be stretched a lot, but it returns to its original shape.

Flesh tone: The skin color is pretty realistic. It's a beige color with a slight tint of pink. Typical of Doc Johnson masterbators, the lips are painted a very bright pink. It fades with time and becomes less ridiculous looking.

Texture: The internal texture is a thick ribbing. The material is firm enough for it to be felt. The ribs are pretty pronounced.

The material does have a sweet smell to it. I like it, but it decreases with time.
    • Plush
    • Porous
    • Textured interior

Shape / Design / Size / Fit

The "face" of the masturbator is molded after Lacie Heart, a then new starlet to the porn industry. I have no idea who she is or if she is still making porn since this toy was made over four years ago. It is 2 3/4" wide and remains this way for the entire 6 1/2" length of the toy. It remains as thick and turns into a hexagon shape with an open hole at the end. I really like how thick and big this masterbator is. It really played into the performance. The hexagon edges help for gripping too. The actual vaginal part is 2 1/4" long and the opening, unstretched is about 5/8". In this regard it looks fairly realistic since the hole isn't pin sized like on other toys. The top side of the vibrato has a raised star. At first I thought this was supposed to represent a tattoo see has. This isn't the case. I think it might be Vivid's logo?

The length is good too. The insertable length is about 6". I'm longer than this so my head could pop out the end. If it did, it wasn't uncomfortable and could even be enjoyable. The tightness was pretty good too. I'm a girthy guy and didn't find this too be too tight or too lose. It was the perfect tightness to allow the texture to be felt.

Another good thing about the thick, hefty design is that is has some weight to it. It doesn't feel like it will rip as easily as other toys of the same material. It isn't discreet though, being that it is a big giant pussy tube, but the shape is easy to store in a drawer. This material can melt under heat, so traveling might be tricky.
    • Beginner
    • Realistic look
    • Will fit most people

Functions / Performance / Controls

The toy is very easy to use. It simply took a little water based lube on my head and some on the inside of the toy. Sliding in was easy. There was no fight or slipping around. The entrance of the toy is only slightly tighter than the rest of the toy which remains the same tightness throughout. Entering the toy makes the outside circumference that much bigger. It creates a handful which I really like. I have large hands and find it annoying when I am forced to grip onto a small toy. There is enough room for both my hands to grip this toy. The toy moved very smoothly up and down and didn't create a problem if I pulled it almost entirely off of me. The internal ribbing is very stimulating. It's probably the best texture I've felt other than the Fleshlight and given this price, it's more worth it. When you go ball deep with this toy there is enough outside surface area to hit against you. I think this adds realism.

So what's the bad part? This thing makes music! The head of my penis is very pronounced and it apparently hits the ribs just right that it makes it sound like a xylophone! This was really distracting. My girlfriend finds it hilarious, but it made it hard to finish at first. I had a half naked girl in front of me, a porn, on and this toy on my cock. The noise ruined all those sensations for a while. It was hard not to laugh. This toy also makes a loud squishy noise. If it weren't for this, this toy would be used more than my Fleshlight.
    • Easy to use
    • Loud
    • Very stimulating

Care and Maintenance

When I finished I covered the end with my finger. The cum filled the end of the toy. I had to get up and go to the bathroom before I attempted to remove it. I pointed it, with me inside, towards the floor over the toliet. I removed the toy, letting the cum fall out. Some was still left inside and so I ran warm water and soap down the hole. This toy can't be turned inside out so you need to double check with your finger that you go it all out. Drying took roughly three hours.

You can only use water based lubes with this. Silicone or oil can ruin the material. Store the toy in the plastic bag it comes in and use non-talc powder to preserve the material.
    • Easy to clean
    • Easy to store

Packaging

The toy comes in a plastic bag which comes inside the box with pictures of the star on them. The box says to never warm up this toy in the microwave or oven.
    • Not discreet
    • Recyclable
Follow-up commentary
The noise is way too annoying to use this. I want to find a similar design =, but one that doesn't make an annoying racket. The search goes on...

It did hold up to a few more uses, so I can say it is well enough made to handle a larger guy at least a handful of times. It's still worth trying. It might not make the noises for every guy.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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Comments
  • brevado
    brevado  
    Good review. Thanks!
  • Penguin
    Penguin  
    Welcome!
  • locomotion
    locomotion  
    great!! thanks for reviewing
  • Penguin
    Penguin  
    Thanks for reading.
  • SoloJoe
    SoloJoe  
    thanks
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