Hard man's tool kit - penis pump by Cal Exotics - review by Penguin

The Hard Man's Tool kit ended up being my assignment because my girlfriend and I decided to experiment. Neither of had even ever seen a penis pump in real life and didn't know what to expect exactly. Some people say these are for making your penis bigger (some even claim permanently) and others say they just like the feeling. I am not in need of making my penis larger in length or width, but still thought it would be fun to try this out, see what it felt like, and to have a truly monster size dick. I figured this would be a good kit to try since it has other items. If I hated the pump, it also has 2 cock rings, a power pack for a vibrating butt plug, and a "hooded wonder" vibrating penis sleeve thing. I recommend this kit for couples to have fun or for solo guys. This kit isn't best for larger than average guys though.

There is a mixed selection of materials here. The pump cylinder is made of a thick smoky gray plastic. This is the safest material in the set and is phthalates free and good for those with allergies. The hand held pump part, tube, and bottom part of the cylinder are made of a smelly rubber. The butt plug is made of the same rubber which is kind of sticky. The vibrating penis hood and cock rings are made of a much nicer, but still sticky, TPR silicone. They are super stretchy.

The cylinder is 7 1/2" tall and about 7" around. This makes it good for average sized guys. The cylinder has a small hole on the side. This serves as the air release and from what I learned, it is elementary. There is a tube coming from the top that attaches to the hand held pump. It looks like the pump on a blood pressure reader. It has ribbing for easier holding. The bottom of the cylinder has a rubber sleeve that coats about an inch of the outside and goes inside the top creating the air-tight seal. This part of the kit is best for average sized guys-6" or smaller. You have to be thicker than 4 1/2" around to create the seal.

The butt plug is 4" long-4/2" insertable and 1 1/4" in diameter. The shape is pretty bad. It is very rigid and doesn't have a tapered bottom. The end has a cord that is kinda short and attaches to the power pack. The power pack is a small rectangle with a sliding button to control the speed. The "hooded wonder" looks ridiculous. Basically it is a large bullet in a sleeve that pops over your head. It has a cord coming out the side that attaches to the power pack too. The two cock rings are the best extra thing that came with this kit. They are thick and durable. They feel stretchy and strong. The outside has nubs, but they don't add anything.

First we started with the pump. We were going to put it on while I wasn't hard and then see if it aroused me. This didn't work because I was too thick to get inside. So my girlfriend got me nice and hard, then lubed me, and the inner ring of the bottom of the tube. Without the lubricant the rubber hurts. I held the outside of the seal and slid myself in. It was hard to do this, but it didn't hurt. I put my finger of the hole and started to pump fast. Turns out, this is the wrong way to do it and it hurt.

After doing some online reading we tried again and this time did it right. I put my finger over the hole and pumped slower with pauses in between. If you pump too fast it cause bruising, rupturing of blood vessels, hemorrhaging, or hematoma. After each pump with my hand, we could see me getting bigger. It didn't hurt this time, but felt strange. It took me a while to get used to the feeling. Within about 10 minutes, I had pretty much filled the tube. I released the air and slid myself out of the tube. The bottom slide off with me and worked as a cock ring even though, I'm pretty sure it wasn't supposed to. We measured me before hand, I was 7" long and 5 3/4" thick. Afterward I was 7 3/4" long and over 6" thick. The most noticeable difference was in my head. I already have a large head, but this made it a lot bigger.

The rest of accessories were mostly a bust. The anal plug was used on my girlfriend. It way too rigid and wouldn't stay in. The vibrating was low even on the highest of the four levels. We didn't use it after that. The penis hood was hard to use. My head was too big to stay inside and it was just awkward. I liked it better being held under my boys. Again, the vibrations are low, but at least they are quiet. The cock rings are great though. They work effectively and fit me without hurting.

I wish I knew if you could put the pump in the dishwasher, because that would be easiest. But since, I don't using pipe cleaner, soap, and water is best for all the parts of this. Since the power pack comes apart, you don't have as much to worry about getting wet. You can use all types of lubricant with this except the hood and cock rings. Don't use silicone with those. Also don't lube the inside of the hood, it makes it easy to put on, but then it pops off too. The seal part is kind of hard to clean you have to clean one side and let dry then flip it to clean the other side. I would keep the box to put all of this in. It takes up a lot of space.

The packaging made me laugh. The large, red, cardboard box has a stupid picture of a Fabio wannabee on the cover with pictures and descriptions of the product. It doesn't have a lot of instructions though. It does have some warnings and that is about it.

Having sex made me a little less sensitive, but I liked this because I could enjoy sex even longer than normal. My girl liked my head being bigger; I liked that too, of course. I stayed bigger until I took the ring off. I give this kit 3 stars as whole, but give the pump 4 stars. Next time, I'll just get a pump by itself and make sure it is bigger.