Vibrating ergo ring

Cock ring by Jollies LLC

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Semi-Vibrating Ergo Bracelet

Ladies, if your averaged sized man needs to be knocked down a peg or two, buy him this ring. Or, if your partner is packing a porn-star's penis and you enjoy some-assembly-required sex, you may enjoy it. Otherwise, keep looking elsewhere. This one is simply too big, too cheap, and too awkward.
Published:
Pros:
Silicone, design aesthetic
Cons:
Ring was WAY too big, bullet did not work. Basically everything.
Rating by reviewer:
1
useful review
Guest review written by my husband:

I had high expectations for the Vibrating Ergo cock ring. I spent a few days daydreaming at work about how great it would be, and how sexy my wife would think it was. After all, we both enjoy when she uses a vibe on her clit during sex, so the bullet vibe attached to my penis should have the same effect while adding the benefits of a cock ring and leaving our hands free to roam. We searched for the perfect vibrating ring before landing on this one, mostly because it's not shaped like a dolphin, beaver, unicorn, or medieval torture device. It also had no wires, controls, or "pleasure nubs." It was a simple black silicone ring with push button bullet, which peaked both of our interest. However, all of my hopes for this toy were dashed to pieces when the ring actually arrived.

Aside from the fact that the two clear cellophane bags that the ring and bullet were packaged in made the design seem like the cheap afterthought of a gigantic toy company ("hmmm. we have 45 billion bullets this size, what else could we put them in?"), this thing is HUGE. Seriously. When the description says that the diameter is 1.75", it should read: do not even consider if you aren't packing a full 2 inches. It's so big that if you have good aim, you could play a rousing game of "bedroom ring toss" with your partner's phallus. Now I won't lie, I'm no John Holmes. I would like to think that I have a very averaged sized penis, but this ring is simply way too big. It is also very stretchy, which makes me think they would have had better results making it smaller so that more than just the biggest of the big could use it. In fact, it is so big and so stretchy that I was able to successfully get it past my hand and wear it as a vibrating bracelet. The up side to the ring is that it is non-porous, phalates-free silicone. It can be cleaned with soap and water, or sterilized through boiling or bleaching (10% solution).

To make my disappointment worse, the bullet vibe did not work. It is a small chrome bullet that operates on three watch batteries. It is shipped with all batteries in place, and a plastic cover between the top battery and electrical contact that, once removed, should allow the vibe to vibe. However, when I removed the cover (really just plastic tape with a pull tab), there was nothing. I probably spent a good 20 minutes trying to figure out how I could get that little bugger to work. Finally I had to rig it so that if the battery compartment is closed, the vibe is on. To Turn it off, I have to remover the cover and batteries, which is not all that convenient when it's strapped to your cock. Again, the up side to the bullet is that when it did work, it was very intense. It was a fast, tight vibration. If this bullet were a dirt-bike, it would be a 2-stroke.

To see how the toy worked in use, see the "experience" section

For a best case scenario with this toy, that is, if your penis is built like a coke can, the vibe actually works the way it is supposed to, and you don't find the process of assembling your sex toys during use maddening, this ring may actually enhance your love-making. As for us, we'll stick to holding the Heartbreaker in place.
Experience
In practice, this toy was just about as disappointing as I had feared once I saw it in person. I was able to get the ring to stay in place by (very carefully) putting my balls through, one at a time. I don't think that The toy was meant to be a cock-and-balls device, so this was slightly uncomfortable, but again, the ring was so stretchy that this option wasn't totally out of the question. My wife didn't like the ring around my balls, and, by the time we were done, neither did I. She said it was weird having my jewels stuffed in her ass-crack, and by the time we were finished thrusting, it felt like someone had been slapping my sack for 15 minutes. With the ring in place, and the batteries inserted and the compartment closed, I put a bit of water-based lube on the bullet (you need that or it will take a bit of work to get it in or out of the sleeve) and put it in place. While all of this was taking place, we almost got out of the mood for sex. When we finally got to it, the vibe was outrageously loud. With the thrusting rhythm, it sounded like someone was repeatedly turning a garbage disposal on and off. Since the bullet sat at the base of my penis, it was only in contact with my wife's clit when I was fully inside of her--when I pulled out to thrust again, the vibe went away. This toy would be better for a woman-on-top position where she could control the depth of thrust and pressure of the bullet on her clitoris. My wife had an orgasm, which is not unusual for sex without mechanical assistance, and later she said that she thought the ring was "annoying."
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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Comments
  • Victoria
    Victoria  
    Hey, the Carpal Tunnel Cure bracelet! Thanks for the funny review!
  • Adriana Ravenlust
    Adriana Ravenlust  
    I'm sorry it sucked but.. this review made me laugh!
  • Lover's Beloved
    Lover's Beloved  
    My husband thanks you both for the compliments on his review. Its a shame the ring didn't work out. In theory it's great, but it ended up being quite a catastrophe.
  • SugarShock
    SugarShock  
    That was a great review, even if the toy is "almost" useless. Give your husband two thumbs up from my wife and me. Obviously his twins had a rough time of it. He has my simpathy.

    I do appreciate the well thought out review. I have been thinking of trying a cock ring, and this one looked promising, until I read this review. Thanks again, and thanks for the laughs!
  • Miss Jane
    Miss Jane  
    Now I'm curious about this toy's potential as a vibrating bracelet...
  • cherryredhead88
    cherryredhead88  
    what size are you? that would allow people to better understand.. I am thinking of this for my partner. he is pretty big. but you don't specify the size , just that the ring is huge
  • vegggies
    vegggies  
    Thanks for the great review. I like that despite all of the product's shortcomings, you manage to express your frustrations with humor.
    With regards to the ring being too big, how big are you? Just curious for my own purposes.
  • Blooddragon
    Blooddragon  
    Nice review!
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