Sploogy, Yucky Mess!

We really did not enjoy this tube. I was hoping for a handjob aid and only succeeded in tripling my workload. The lube and powder investments were definitely not worth it, as soon as we got it I should have thrown it out. May be great for the single gent wanting a cheap thrill or trainer, as it really desensitized my man, but it's definitely not for this couple. We both agree that we prefer an actual hand to this product any day of the week.
Published:
Pros:
Cheaper, new sensation,
Cons:
too stretchy, not ribbed enough, lint magnet, desensitizing
Rating by reviewer:
2
extremely useful review

Use

I bought this as a surprise for my man, wanting to mix up the good ol' handy for once. What can I say? There's not that much to it. It's a masturbation sleeve. You put your junk of choice in and take the tube in hand to stroke, and it is supposed to give you a great time. It’s ‘supposed to.’ There are ribs along the inside, though the cunning user could perhaps turn the sleeve inside out and take advantage of the smooth side also. This is pretty much exclusively a male-only toy too, not much a lady can use it for unless she happens to have a fetish for sticking her dildos into other objects (and besides using it on her man). I would never use this toy with anybody else in the house; it makes the sploogiest sucking sound in motion that is completely unmistakable! It would be a great trainer - as my boy said that it was more of a desensitizing experience than a pleasurable one.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Couples
    • Solo
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Home alone
    • On a bed only
    • Tub/shower/pool
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Ribs
    • Travel friendly

Material / Texture

This sleeve is comprised of UR3 material, and was our first experience with said material. Honestly, we both laughed a little bit at the touted UR3 (ultra realistic? mimic real skin?). It felt so sticky and floppy; I honestly can't draw a comparison to any material that I have encountered, especially not real skin. On recommendation, I bought some toy powder, but really that only helped with stickiness. Nothing could fix the absolute hyper stretchiness and floppiness. My boyfriend said that in the end, it was more of a tease than a tool, the far-spaced ribs did nothing for him and the entire sleeve was too smooth, both for grip on the outside and for stimulation on the inside. The stretchiness may be great for bigger than average users, but for my average sized boy all the stretchiness did was prevent the rigorous grip that he needs. It didn't warm up very well for us, and it smelled like my orthodontist's office and the gross material they use to make mouth molds.
    • Light odor
    • Smooth
    • Sticky

Shape / Design / Size / Fit

We both agree that we pretty much hated everything about this sleeve; the thickness of the walls were terrible since they weren't tight or rigid enough to stimulate him, and were so thick that any hand applied pressure was lost into the material. At 5.5 inches long and being so stretchy, it covers an ideal area for masturbation, but the 1.5 inch diameter more than doubled with him inserted and made my grip much less secure.
Despite all of that, after only a few uses the sleeve was still beginning to rip and degrade. I like the idea of the sleeve, but it really didn't help make my job any easier, nor his job on solo use. I was hoping for something to help keep an even grip and pressure throughout the handy but really, it makes it even harder, allowing his junk to poke out at the occasional odd angle because of how weak the walls are of the sleeve.
This was using a recommended method of using a couple fingers to work the sleeve as opposed to a firm palm grip. The few finger method creates interesting sensation, but doesn't let me build enough speed to get him anywhere. Using a firm palm grip, the floppiness allows lube to fling and squirt out in every direction once you start getting into it, and that is very un-romantic unless maybe you're in the shower. We tried using the sleeve without much lube in the hopes of building more friction and sensation, but at that point it just proved impossible or too painful for him to penetrate the sleeve.
Otherwise, it is so splooshy that covering the ends makes it possible to create a little bit of suction. However, it FARTS very loudly when using this method, no matter what measure you take against the farts; holding the base shut, releasing top on the way down, etc. I cannot stress enough how floppy and lifeless this sleeve is.
Ribbing, what ribbing? The ribs were just too far apart to mean anything, especially considering the smoothness of the material in between. He said he could barely feel them.

Personally, I would never travel with this product, as it seems too sensitive to handle a trip. I wouldn't put it past the thing to melt a little bit with heat. It would probably collect all the lint in the suitcase unless you kept it packed in its case or in a special toy case. It is light, compact and vaguely discreet on its own, but having to pack it away will make it bulkier.
    • Beginner
    • Too loose
    • Will fit most people

Functions / Performance / Controls

This toy is definitely waterproof, but the sad fact it is had been thrown out long before we used it in the shower. I think it has good shower/bath use potential, but ours had already started ripping. Besides that, this thing sounds alternately like an old woman with the walking poots, children throwing water balloons, and a potbellied pig slopping under a wet blanket. It's loud and slurpy and pooty. Anybody in another room who hears it will be at your door asking "what the devil that sound is". It was described to me as a wet, messy, toothless blowjob, but negatively so.
    • Loud
    • Not very stimulating

Care and Maintenance

Keeping this toy was a nightmare for me. My cheapskate senses tingled hard when I bought the pack of toy powder just to help improve this toy. I had to refill my water based lube supply since this toy is only able to accept the water based lube. In the end, despite my attempts to keep it well powdered and lint- free, keeping it in its plastic case and washing and soaking well with cool water and soap after use, the toy STILL managed to pick up lint, grime, and became discolored. After looking at this from a couple of uses, we just chucked it. Totally miffed.
    • Difficult to store
    • Hard to clean
    • High maintenance

Packaging

There was absolutely no subtlety about this package. It is a clear, thin, plastic package that can be opened and closed by popping in and out bubbles at the top. It has a paper/ cardboard insert that is very bright with a hot pink "THE TUBE" label on top, which can be removed and the plastic kept, but the Stroker will be a hundred percent visible. It's not the best package to gift 'classy' but is great for a campy gift, if only that it must be wrapped or bagged. There weren't any instructions included in my package that I saw.
    • Good for storage
    • Not discreet

Personal comments

I really disliked this sleeve. It took my wish to make handjobs a little easier on my hands and arms and tripled the effort.

Experience

Upon receiving all the necessary accessories to take care of this toy, we set about trying it out, rather excited to see how the horrible, floppy thing actually could perform.

We lube him up and put a little squeeze into the sleeve for good measure. Actually getting him in was kind of difficult and seemed to be an uncomfortable experience for him because both sleeve and lube were very cold, and the sleeve was hard to handle. We took some time to experiment, full insertion left about 1/2inch of his 7.5 inches out of top end of the sleeve, and using the first method that I mentioned above of using a couple fingers to make light strokes.

It did very little for him. I adjusted to this with the good ol' tried and true fist grip, but the girth of his junk plus the sleeve made it nearly impossible for me to wrap my hand all the way around, let alone provide an even layer of pressure. At about this point, lube was started to get all over my hands, and I had to grip harder and harder to try and keep the sleeve in motion.

He was enjoying it to an extent, but eventually after a very prolonged session we were both just getting TIRED of it. I got so tired and the lube and smoothness left him so stubborn that I had to hand the sleeve off to him to go at it with a ridiculous amount of pressure and vigor.

He finally took the sleeve off in favor of his own hand and still had a hard time for him to finally get off, and we both ended up sweaty and tired and no more satisfied than the most half-assed handjob session could have given. He kept saying what a desensitizing feeling that it gave him.

Maybe a week later the second chance went much the same as the first time, though he was able to get off with it after a very long period of super-rigorous stroking.

And by God, the noise was terrible! On two occasions, I left the room to grab us some water and I could hear it farting and smacking all the way from the kitchen, which is a wall and a living room away. Was it the technique? The rigor with which it had to be used? Who cares - Because it was insanely loud!

After this or perhaps one more use small cracks or splits began in the tube, and shortly after we just tossed it.
Follow-up commentary
Having long been in the garbage, this toy still remains one of our most disappointing purchases. It is often a topic of bedroom conversations as an example of things we wouldn't want to try again. Ever. Bottom line, even if we did give sleeves another try, this would be the standard by which we benchmark everything that we DON'T want in a sleeve.
This content is the opinion of the submitting contributor and is not endorsed by EdenFantasys.com
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This review was edited by
  • TheSinDoll TheSinDoll
  • Rank:
     
    6.2
  • Edited reviews: 182
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Comments
  • Ex-prude
    Ex-prude  
    You seem to have confused the pros and cons. The bad things should go under cons.
  • LaSchwartz
    LaSchwartz  
    thanks for sharing
  • js250
    js250  
    Thanks for the review--these work great inside pumps....
  • Stinkytofu10
    Stinkytofu10  
    Great review, thank you!
  • DomonCoshu
    DomonCoshu  
    Great review, sad it didn't go so well.
  • married with children
    married with children  
    great review, thanks for sharing.
  • Missmarc
    Missmarc  
    Great review!
  • Naksetamun
    Naksetamun  
    Yes you're right I did! Must have mixed them up when cutting and pasting things around... what a goof.
  • johnnyjohn
    johnnyjohn  
    Good review
  • spiced
    spiced  
    Thanks for an excellent review. I'm going to look at other toys instead of this one.
  • Ryanne
    Ryanne  
    Thanks for the review this sounds horrible
  • ASpiritedSlut
    ASpiritedSlut  
    Thanks for the honest review... sounds like a sticky jelly nightmare!
  • angel42539
    angel42539  
    thanks
  • babymario
    babymario  
    well done review
  • RedFreak
    RedFreak  
    thanx
  • LavenderSkies
    LavenderSkies  
    Thanks!
  • DTV88
    DTV88  
    good review
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