Sue Johanson's super head honcho - masturbator discontinued by Cal Exotics - review by Dick-n-Jane

You love Jell-O? Perfect.
Who needs warm apple pie when you can fuck the jiggly juice!
This toy looks and feels like pink lemonade gelatin.
But it smells like the downwind side of a chemical factory.

I had safety concerns but the description says it is phthalates-free.
Still... it obviously contains undisclosed volatiles which will leach through your nasal membrane and skin. Still interested?

I'm an easy date, I fucked her anyway (several times).
True, I washed her first and let her air out for a day, but that didn't make much difference. Regardless of the stink, my dick sure likes her.

First time was in the shower, lubed with some hair conditioner. I know, I know... old school. Conditioner doesn't last long and it didn't need to, the sleeve engulfed my cock in a wonderfully firm embrace and I came pretty quickly.

It is possible to pop the head of your dick out through the end of the sleeve, which makes for useful variation while stroking, and allows you to squirt your baby gravy wherever you want (if you choose).

"Suction chambers" within the shaft provide extra tactile sensation as well as multiple popping noises with every stroke. The grip is firm and wonderful but nothing like vaginal or oral sex. I like the idea of a sleeve in general... it disconnects the sensory experiences of dick and hand, which serves to untether the imagination I think.

Clean up is simple enough, run water through it or turn it inside out (invaginate it ;o) to wash. A warning though, I flipped mine inside out and left it that way to dry overnight. In the morning the jelly had split apart in many places.

I used this sleeve 4 or 5 times and then retired it due to safety concerns. Even with my limited use... she was still a cheap date.

Although I reviewed her fairly recently, it has actually been a couple months now (at least) since our last date night. The chemistry just wasn't right.

But I took her out again recently (nothing happened, we're just friends) and gave her a good sniff. Not bad. Passable, in fact.

She was wrapped up in a dry wash cloth (not an air tight container) and stored in a drawer away from our other toys, I didn't want her to get jealous and ruin her competition.

Her insides are still a bit torn up from when I flipped her inside out and left her out to dry. Sadly, there is a growing distance between us. It is the distance from my house to the nearest landfill.