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Stormy's sticky ass...

An average run of the mill masturbation sleeve... nothing much special here. It's sticky, attracts dirt, and smells like plastic chemicals. You'd probably get a few good uses out of it before you got bored and spent money on something better.
Published:
Pros:
Durable.
Cons:
Sticky, attracts debris, smelly.
Rating by reviewer:
2
extremely useful review
So, imagine my surprise when I was picked, as a woman, to review Stormy’s Precious Ass, a male masturbation sleeve. Being a female, I could have passed on the review easily, with the obvious fact, that I in fact do not have a cock, but instead I took the assignment, hoping to test out my reviewing skills, while satisfying my curiosity.

When Stormy arrived, her ass came packaged in a white cardboard box, with a woman, who may or may not be Stormy, staring in that famous come hither porno stare. It claims, pure gold! Funnily enough, I think, pure gold, my ass…

I open the box. In it is this thing, wrapped up in a plastic baggie. It feels like jello, and as open the bag with hesitance, I smell this chemical plastic smell. It looks like half a dog bone, with out the actual stiffness of a bone. It’s clear gelatinous goo with what looks like yellow goldish marrow inside it.

Just as I get over the smell, I start to actually analyze this thing in my hands. To me it looks like the length is too small for most men to comfortably use without popping out the other end. I notice, she seems to pick up lint from nowhere, and the thing is getting dirty not doing anything. It's probably best to keep this one stored in its plastic bag, between uses.

After getting Stormy all cleaned up, I’m afraid to dry it off; for fear that the towel will just redeposit lint all over it. So, I decide to play with it all wet. I grab some water based lube, and put it all over my hand. The box claims that this ass is super stretchy and tight, well let’s test it out.

I’m fingering this thing in my bathroom, with my index finger thinking, it feels nothing like my pussy, and since I’m not into anal, I’ve got no comparison there. I can imagine that the little bumps would feel nice, although they kind of remind me of the way the hives feel when you get them on your skin. I insert one finger, then two, and three before it feels tight on my fingers, and then, without much force, or girth I realize I have busted Stormy’s ass (which looks like a belly button to me), doing nothing but poking around with a lubed finger. My thinking is then, if this busts on my finger, some guy’s cock is just going to rip it in half.

I’m banking on testing its durability, so I decide to fist it. I put lube all over my hand, stretch the thing as wide as I can, and put my fist in. It fits, and I have not managed to rip it down the middle. I have however managed to get the gold lining to pop out. It looks like it's losing intestinal lining. I simply pull that right out, and retest the internal bumps, surprise they are still there.

The next test I perform is the stretch test. Grabbing both ends, I pull it and stretch it to about a foot in length. Still, Stormy has not busted. I’m glad its mostly durable, because from what I can tell, Stormy isn’t much more than that.

My final test was more for fun than anything else. I hurled Stormy at my front door, and amazingly, she sticks to walls and rolls down. I did this a few times only to realize my roommate’s boyfriend was starting to get freaked out.

In a week or so, I’ll have a cock lying around the house to actually try Stormy out. I’ll then promptly post a follow up review, but thus far my opinion is that there are far better toys out there. Save the money and splurge on a real toy.
Follow-up commentary
While my husband was in town, we tried this one out. While we had more luck with this sleeve, he still seemed to be unimpressed. He said It felt better than another comparable toy we had tried, and that this one was tight, but not too tight. After a few minutes, we said screw it and went on to the main event. I could tell his feelings for Stormy were at best lukewarm. She still sits in her plastic bag at the bottom of the toy box collecting dust. I have a feeling, after a while she's going to be be headed off to the city dump.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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My Stormy's precious ass tags
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Busy men
    • Relaxation/alone time
    • Teasing a partner
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
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Comments
  • Kayla
    Kayla  
    Thanks for the review. Smile
  • darthkitt3n
    darthkitt3n  
    That sounds like one of those sticky slapper hands you can get out of the quarter machines, with its ability to stick to the door.
  • NuMe
    NuMe  
    Thanks for the review
  • Alan & Michele
    Alan & Michele  
    LOL! Love your review title.
  • Viktor Vysheslav Malkin
    Viktor Vysheslav Malkin  
    agh! Sticky , smelly, and dirt attractant!

    Nice review! Don't give up on this product! In a few months the smell will be gone Tongue out
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