The Reason For Elipses...

If you've ever wanted to have sex with a pool toy this is your chance! Or you could get completely creeped out by it and not actually do anything except kick it around your house, such as what happened in our situation. I'm just not sure that this was a well thought out means of getting off.
Published:
Pros
Might be hilarious for use in pranks or for gag gifts.
Cons
Utterly, utterly ridiculous.
Rating by reviewer:
1
somewhat useful review
I have to first admit that I was not aware that this was a listing for an inflatable love doll that comes with a masturbator, as I misunderstood and thought it was just the masturbator with a picture of a hot anime girl on its box. Okie dokie, I've got three gents here who might be willing to give Miss Kishimoto some lovin' if this is the way it has to be, so I called into the living room my husband, my boyfriend, and my best friend.

Usually my husband tests the masturbators for me, but when I presented him with a box filled with a plastic inflatable woman, he said no way. The other two sat in awe and wonderment. But not willing awe and wonderment, more like "WTF."

My husband, being a good sport and knowing that a product review had to be written, decided that he would at least go through with the task of inflating the girl, who smelled of candy. This took him about five minutes and made him quite dizzy. It was kind of creepy watching her head slowly lift up as she was filled, her too big anime eyes staring expressionless at the three of us. But I was intrigued once I saw what the confusingly written box (that said things like "anime 4 color face!) described as her "love passage." And out flopped the flimsy, rubber and candy smelling TPR vagina masturbator that was meant to be inserted into the doll.

And that in of its self was quite a task.

I kept trying to get him to add a little water based lube to her crotch cavity so we could get the fake vagina in more easily, as it could only be shoved in so far and it would stick out awkwardly, but he had no such desire to waste any good lube on the doll and proceeded to just sort of jam it in until it fit. And then there was this inflated girl with her legs open and her vag all splayed in my living room.

"Who wants to fuck it?" I asked.

"No way," my husband said. "She's a fucking pool toy!"

"Um...no," said my friend. "I'm sure the squeaking would be quite hilarious and everything, but I have standards. Plus it really creeps me out."

"For the sake of your review," my boyfriend said, "I'll take one for the team. I will have sex with the blow up doll."

But he thought we should maybe get acquainted with her first so we hung out with her a while. The boys would laugh and get all mean with her and punch her, and out of the creepiness of the naked woman in my house I put some pajama pants and a tank top on her. The boys eventually tore the clothes off without care in sort of an act of defilement. My husband kicked her around the house and then laid on her, which he said if he was going to do anything with the doll it would be that because it was kind of comfortable, but not in a substitute for human touch sort of way.

The whole time the woman was being bashed about the room, my friend was just incredibly creeped out by her eyes. He'd kick it away from him if it was facing his direction too long, either with her face or her poon.

And then she was passed to my boyfriend, who said he'd deflower the doll for the greater good. And then he saw all of the dirt and hair and grime that had gotten stuck to the vagina piece and he changed his mind quite quickly. If she hadn't of been so damn tempting to beat the shit out of, maybe a man would have wanted her.

I know all of this sounds very very bad and I'm probably going to get written to. But remember please that this is an inflatable sex doll with a creepy anime face and pink hair.

I admit that nobody fucked the doll. We examined her, we laid on her, we beat her up, and even dressed her. I don't know anyone who would see this as a true viable means of getting off, but then it might just float someone's boat.

However, we all did decide that the blow up doll would make a really great something or other to keep around for use in pranks or possibly to be given as a gag gift. But what would be her fate?

Apartment complex pool?
My boyfriend's dad's bed?
Carpool lane buddy?

Actually, she ended up in the dumpster. Naked and inflated and plastically eager on top of the trash pile. For use in someone else's pranks, pools, or fantasies.
Experience
If you were to keep this toy for its intended use, I would suggest wiping her down with soap and water if she gets dirty, and thoroughly letting her dry before folding her back up to put in her box--unless you were to just keep her inflated all the time, which I'm not one to judge if that's what you're going to do. If she gets a hole, try maybe buying some of those vinyl pool patches.
Follow-up commentary
Unfortunately, Kishimoto was left in the truck of a friend's car as a prank, and he got rear ended. The tow truck driver scooped her up off the highway, and it was in my friend's mangled wrecked stuff much to his embarrassment. I had to throw it away for him in a Denny's trash can off the high way.

Pranks with blow up dolls can totally backfire. Just saying.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.

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Comments
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  • Contributor: ~LaUr3n~
    I really enjoyed reading your review as it was HILARIOUS and really entertaining. However, I would need to have info from actually using this to make it more useful.
  • Contributor: TitsMcScandal
    I agree with Lauren. I want to rate it higher, because it gave me a laugh, but really it just wasn't a useful review. Sorry.
  • Contributor: jedent
    i'm aware that it wasn't very useful, but i was honest and i didn't want to say that it got used when nobody used it. i'd rather be honest then have a higher rated review.
  • Contributor: Gardenvy
    Jedent, Thank you for your honesty in this review. If it's too creepy, then its just too creepy.
    When My guy and I saw these coming out we laughed our asses off. True, someone may be into creepy huge eyes and a weird candy plastic smell, but not many.
    I might have been tempted to put her in the pool, maybe that's because I also have the huge penis floaty!
  • Contributor: Airen Wolf
    LOL ours smell like strawberries...creepy, cheap, toxic, noxious strawberries. Sigel was game enough to try his and Arch is contemplating whether it would be rape, but with him as the victim. LOL

    Thanks for giving it a try!
  • Contributor: P'Gell
    Funny review. I don't know how this toy works. But, it was funny as hell. Would someone be willing to use the masturbator tube? Or was that thrown out, too?

    Strange. But, funny.
  • Contributor: samanthalynn
    thanks for the review!
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