What makes Stormy's ass, "precious?"

As a first masturbation sleeve, this toy left me wanting more. The design and the TPR material of this toy, just don't provide a winning combination for me.
Published:
Pros
Stretches to provide a nice squeezing sensation.
Cons
Too short, texture cannot be felt, devours lube, irritated my skin.
Rating by reviewer:
2
extremely useful review
In my experience, the word "precious" generally evokes images of newborn babies, toddlers donning some outrageous attire, or perhaps even young puppies or kittens at play; but a sizable hunk of a sticky, jelly-like substance whose sole purpose is to ensheath an awaiting cock? Probably not the adjective I would've chosen.

Stormy delivers her "precious ass" straight to you in the typical thin, white cardboard box, strewn with depictions of a woman (who I can only assume is "Stormy" herself) suggestively posing in positions that someone, somewhere, must've found erotic. To the rest of the world they look weird and uncomfortable, and it makes you feel awkward just to glance at them. I'm sure you are all familiar with these types of boxes by now but it's of little importance, as it's what's inside the box that counts.

Stormy's ass comes fresh from the box, wrapped in an unsealed plastic bag, with no instructions, care and maintenance information, or paperwork of any kind. I guess by now we've all had experience with similar materials though, right? I mean, naturally I'd assume that growing up, all children got to play with those stretchy/sticky hands on a long jelly cord; that you can buy for a quarter from a gumball machine. This masturbator, feels almost identical. The only difference is that Stormy's ass might be stickier! I was tempted to throw it against our wall to find out, but the combination of new paint in the bedroom, and remembering the stains we left with those "sticky-hands" all over my mother's walls and ceilings as children, quickly swayed me from that thought. Instead I decided to wash the toy thoroughly with antibacterial soap and water, and give it a try.

First I lubed myself up good and started to get myself going, as there was no way I was going to get into this thing flaccid. The opening is quite small and the jelly has no rigidity to it, so unless you're hard insertion will be cumbersome; if not impossible. Once readied, I started to lube up Stormy's "ass", which at this point I found to be a bit of a misleading name. I think those rounded mounds on each side of the entry hole are supposed to be butt cheeks. But to me, the entrance of this toy looks much more like a glorified "camel toe", than any semblance of an ass... but I digress.

With me already hard, and both of us lubed up, it was 'go time'. At first, I didn't think I could fit into the hole, but apparently this sleeve has the same expansion ratio as "Stretch Armstrong". So, it did indeed conform to my member, squeezing it quite pleasantly. Unfortunately, because of how far this sleeve had to stretch to accommodate me, there really wasn't any sensation from the nubs inside, because they were all stretched flat as well. Additionally, I was a bit disappointed, as this sleeve is only about 5 inches long; so when I thrust all the way inside, my entire "head" and a small part of my shaft stuck out the other end.

Determined to continue I started pumping, but after about 60 seconds I was again distracted from my task, but his time by a startling discovery. I had found a vortex to another universe! And it was entirely contained within this masturbation sleeve! The way it works is quite simple, you just put something inside the vortex, and in a matter of seconds it disappears; as in it's COMPLETELY GONE! Unfortunately, with this sleeve, the vortex only works with lube. I was using Maximus (which is traditionally a GREAT water-based lube), and without exaggeration, I had to reapply every 30-60 seconds.

Literally, I could not stroke quickly with this toy. As soon as I would try, it would go dry, and start to rub funny on my skin. Eventually, I found the only way I could use this toy successfully, was to use its stretchiness to my advantage. I held the base of the "camel toe" end up against my pelvis, and pulled the other end to stretch it as far from my body as possible. In this way, I was able to envelop my entire penis in the sheath, and stroke that way to a mediocre orgasm.

Cleanup was really easy, as this toy had already teleported all the lube to another dimension. To clean up the remainder of the mess, I just washed the sleeve in hot water with anti-bacterial soap. Being made of TPR, this sleeve IS porous, and it cannot be disinfected. So, if you plan on sharing, you will need to use a condom with it. Once washed, the sheath was back to its old sticky self; and went back in the plastic bag from which she came.
Experience
In all fairness, I must admit that this is our first jelly-type toy. So, I may be slightly biased, having been spoiled by pure silicone, and glass for most of our collection. However, I also know that after using this sleeve, the skin on my shaft was slightly irritated for 15 minutes or so after. I don't know if that should be attributed to the material, or how quickly the sleeve dried out, but either way, it wasn't a huge hit for me.

Additionally, I did not try the sleeve with any silicone-based lube, so I don't know if that would work any better or not?!

After considering all the issues that I had, I think 'Stormy's sticky camel-toe' may end up toward the bottom of the toy box, as I'm not in any rush to waste lube and give myself some more penile irritation. Of course as always, your results may vary. If you've had good luck with jelly toys in the past, and are a bit on the smaller side, this might be a suitable and inexpensive sleeve for you to try. But if you do, pick up a gallon jug of lube to go with it!
Follow-up commentary
It's been hard to motivate myself to continue to use this toy, but for posterity (and for my follow-up reviews) I've forced myself a couple times over the past several months. Unfortunately, my views remain unchanged. It's still not a great sleeve, it still devours lube, and any time I feel the desire to use a masturbator, I want to reach for the "Pussy To Go" that I've acquired in the meantime.

Someone, somewhere, might enjoy this toy as a cheap entry into masturbation sleeves, but I can't imagine they'll keep it around for long. In my opinion, if you want a masturbation sleeve, and can't afford a better one right now, save your pennies and wait, because you'll likely end up growing tired of this one, and upgrading in the future anyhow.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.

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Comments
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  • Contributor: SexySkye
    Enjoyed reading your review. Sorry "Stormy" didn't work out for ya. Looks like I'll be skipping this one for my man. Thanks for the heads up!
  • Contributor: TinyTease
    Your review made me LOL several times. Especially the camel-toe visual. Aahhh. Reviews are fun. Thanks for yours!
  • Contributor: LiftedUp
    Thanks TinyTease. Glad you enjoyed it! And yes... I did have quite a bit of fun writing this one. Big smile
  • Contributor: 2BudZ
    Excellent and humorous review...got a kick out of reading this one.
  • Contributor: Viktor Vysheslav Malkin
    Nice Review Smile
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