Rock hard pump kit - penis pump by Cal Exotics - review by El-Jaro

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Wow...just...wow

If you know what to expect from this product and how to use it, it is amazing! Have you ever wanted to see just how big your penis can get? You'll find out with this pump.

I highly recommend this pump (the rest of the kit I could take or leave) to any curious penis handler. You will be AMAZED at the results!
Published:
Pros:
Fast acting and easy to clean.
Cons:
Temptation to use it too much.
Rating by reviewer:
5
extremely useful review

Use

Ever wonder "What if..."?

The Rock Hard pump kit will answer that long pondered man question: "How big will it get?"

This pump will answer that question in spades!

Basically, you put a little lube on yourself and a little bit on the the TPR seal. Insert your penis (flaccid) in the pump and pump it a couple times...BOOM! Insta-Cock. Now, if you have a cock ring on hand (or in kit), you can enjoy this fully engorged purple love soldier. Just make sure to limit the actual use to a few minutes. Thrombosed penises aren't happy penises.

You really don't need to use this pump more than a couple pumps; it works almost instantly.

Material / Texture

This pump is mostly regular smokey or black plastic and gray TPR. The pump is see-through, which is where you see your...um..."swelling of pride".

The silicone plug is smooth and a bit on the small side.

The "ball spreader" is a rubber(?) ring with a leather strap attached. It's not a new coat leather, more of a new pair of shoes leather; it has a smell to match as well. The cock ring on the ball spreader is on a hoop of leather that unsnaps from the main strap.

Shape / Design / Size / Fit

I really like the design of this pump. The seal slips off the bottom, the air-release, the connection at the top of the cylinder, I love it all.

The size is perfect for me too. Fully pumped up, I pretty much hit the top of the cylinder and I'm a pretty average sized guy.

I have yet to find a good way to explain away a penis pump. The most plausible explanation I can give is "Rattlesnake venom sucker"...but I live in Michigan. It's also a good thing that most people who would see this know what I do anyway.

For traveling with a penis pump, please see "Austin Powers: The International Man of Mystery".
    • Will fit most people

Functions / Performance / Controls

To use a penis pump: Insert an attached flesh penis into the tube (lube it up a little for a good seal) and pump the ball a few times and voila, you got a huge penis. Once you get to a certain point though, the air is out and you can't pump it any more. Don't keep your penis (or partner's penis) in there too long; there are health considerations.

It's really not quiet, but it's not horribly loud either. If you can explain away the sound of a bicycle pump going on behind closed doors, go at it.

Note on water: Don't let water get into the hose and bulb. It might not get out and could promote mold. If mold gets in the tubing, you could have moldy air around your penis (or your partner's penis).
    • Easy to use
    • Feels realistic

Care and Maintenance

Thankfully, the minimal number of parts makes this easy to clean.

Step 1: Remove penis
Step 2: Twitch a bit
Step 3: Remove the hose from the top of the cylinder, leave on bed
Step 4: Take the cylinder to the bathroom, remove the rubbery seal, wash with antibacterial soap
Step 5: Let air dry or towel dry

I wouldn't put this in the dishwasher. You could, but you'd risk melting the plastic. You could wash everything (except the ring/spreader) in the dishwasher and let them dry in the dish rack.

You could wash the very thin plug in the dishwasher (no soap, top rack), but you'd have to explain to whoever lives with you what you're washing.
    • Difficult to store
    • Easy to clean

Packaging

Save or toss this box at your own risk. It is a penis pump kit in a very descriptive box. Use your best judgment.

Everything is wrapped inside plastic bags, each piece to its own.
    • Not discreet
    • Recyclable

Personal comments

Pumps have been sold for years as a way to increase the size of the penis, but have been shown not to have long lasting penis lengthening benefits. But that doesn't mean that you can't have some short term fun with it! "Short term" is the key phrase here. It can be dangerous to use for prolonged periods of time, due to fact you can rupture blood vessels with it and that could cause health problems. Make sure you read the instructions and indications on the box and do a little research of your own online.
Follow-up commentary
This is still a handy pump to have around. I'm glad I have it!

It hasn't degraded or broke. It's still easy to clean.

Everyone once in a while, I like to pull it out to help with the foreplay or scare the heck out of my partner - "No way that's fitting in!"
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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Comments
  • Jul!a
    Jul!a  
    You get bonus points for Austin Powers there, lol
  • ToyTimeTim
    ToyTimeTim  
    I have to agree with Jul!a.
    I guess I will have to try one of these.
  • Kayla
    Kayla  
    I think this is the first good review for a penis pump I've ever seen.
  • Kindred
    Kindred  
    Great review. It sounds exciting and scary at the same time.
  • El-Jaro
    El-Jaro  
    The thing with pumps is that your have to know what you're really going to be getting out of it. You won't have a new leg if you use this all the time, but you will have a very fast and short lived response.
  • Selective Sensualist
    Selective Sensualist  
    I agree -- thrombosed penises are definitely not happy penises! I think even Austin Powers would agree.

    Great review!
  • B8trDude
    B8trDude  
    Sounds like all that is missing from this is a ruler on the outside of the pump to measure "growth" during use. Regarding thrombosed penises - personally, I'd much rather have a throbbing penis instead
  • kck
    kck  
    Love your witticisms
    Thanks for the review!
  • Viktor Vysheslav Malkin
    Viktor Vysheslav Malkin  
    Great job on this review, added it to my wishlist
  • Bon Bon
    Bon Bon  
    I'm intrigued. Thanks for the review!
  • Ladygaga
    Ladygaga  
    very informative !
  • DeliciousSurprise
    DeliciousSurprise  
    Awesome review!
  • sexyintexas
    sexyintexas  
    Hmmm...definately something to consider playing with for the Mr.
  • sexyintexas
    sexyintexas  
    Hmmm...definately something to consider playing with for the Mr.
  • Ansley
    Ansley  
    I'm always intrigued and slightly terrified about using pumps. I always imagine the worst happening. Great review!
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