On Our Backs Guide To Lesbian Sex - guides to a better sex by Alyson Publications - review by Eden C.

On Our Backs Guide To Lesbian Sex

Book by Alyson Publications

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A Stereotyped Guide to Kinky, Creative Sex

Overall, I loved most of the articles, and I think it is definitely worth buying and reading. It is a great title for any lesbian, transman, or bisexual woman, but I think that those who are interested in trying new fetishes and techniques will find it especially useful. I didn't agree with the ideas of all the authors, but all the articles came together to make a wonderful book.
Published:
Pros:
Thorough, comprehensive, unique tips, with attention to diversity.
Cons:
Stereotypes, use of 'fag' and 'dyke.' Some activities discussed may be too extreme for some.
Rating by reviewer:
4
extremely useful review
The titles of the articles in this book remind me of the index of Cosmopolitan. It has how-to guides and celebrity interviews like a ladies magazine, and it is also full of generalizations (e.g. Why Does Sucking Cock Get You Off?).

The authors use the term 'dyke' to cover lesbian, bisexual, allied, genderqueer, transgendered, etc., men and women, as distinct from cismen and heterosexual ciswomen.

Like the On Our Backs magazine, featuring black and white photography of women I could truly believe are “dykes”. The models featured vary by gender, race, physique, and even age. The book is also full of reader's submissions, ensuring that anyone can find information she will relate to.

Chapter 1 opens with various tips on picking up women, useful whether you are painfully shy or a ladies' lady! Flirting Tips for Fat Girls carries a valuable message for any woman of any size- don't apologize for who you are! Chapter 1 also discusses online dating with a useful, up-to-date list of websites, where one can find relationships and hookups.

Chapters 2-3 cover masturbation, foreplay and oral sex. The tips are basic enough for a beginner, yet unique enough for the more “experienced” to get fresh ideas. The book includes guides to massage, tribadism (pussy-to-pussy contact), and foot worship, to name a few. The tribadism guide omits basic explanations regarding position, which is a major concern for many couples. There are two articles about breast play; Lesbian Breast Worship which assumes lesbians think breasts are a male obsession (I had never heard that) and a comprehensive guide that includes how to make a masculine-identifying butch of FTM transman feel comfortable during breast play.

Chapters 4-6 include comprehensive guides to pussy play, strap-ons, and anal sex. The articles have helpful and unique tips and information on shaving, different types of orgasms, giving hand jobs, finding the G-spot, strap-on dildoes, how to pack under clothing, anal sex, bondage, and erotic spanking.

Although I appreciated the anal chapter's comprehensive guide and tips, the rest of the chapter is saturated with the notion that anal play is for gay men, with charming articles like Handballing: It's Not Just for Fags Anymore! andRim Like a Gay Boy. I found that notion too outdated to be worth mentioning, making most of the chapter almost unreadable.

In addition to the guides on more “standard” activities, these chapters also contain guides to clit-pumping, fisting, needle play, erotic cutting/burning, and cunt torture, which were definitely not for everyone. After such extreme articles, I expected Chapter 8: Fun and Games: Fetish, Fantasy, and Roles to be a thorough exploration of fetish, but it was not. Most of the articles were about role-play. It was a disappointment after the shocking descriptions that preceded them. I would've appreciated information about more fetishes.

I was tempted to skip Chapter 9: So Many Dykes, So Little Time: Polyamory, Sex Parties, and Three-Ways, as I am not interested in polyamory, but I am glad I didn't. Make It a Three-Way outlines how a couple should go about having a threesome. The chapter also includes a guide to throwing a sex party and some steamy stories. This chapter is a must-read, even if you're monogamous!

Chapter 10: Lesbian Gender: Butch, Femme, and Beyond is an obligatory part to any lesbian sex guide, as gender presentation is so important in many lesbian communities. Shar Rednour and Kris Kovick open with jokes about butch and femme stereotypes, while Femmes: A Love Letter and Butch on Butch discuss, praise, and expand on those roles. The chapter also contains interviews with transgendered heroes like Leslie Feinberg, Joan Nestle, and Kate Bornstein. A Dyke's Guide to Fucking Genderfuckers is a really helpful guide for partners of transpeople, as many transpeople feel uncomfortable involving their genitals.

Chapter 11: Beyond the Bedroom discusses various issues affecting the lesbian community, including very helpful guides on Stds in the lesbian community, sex and disabilities, and sex over 40.

Chapter 12: On-Screen Sex opens with a guide for those who are new to porn. The following helpful articles list titles by category, including BBW, BDSM, vampires, etc. These lists are great for those who are tired of seeing only femme Barbie girls having fake sex in porn, so I was baffled that there was also a list of recommended mainstream titles. I looked into those films, and indeed, found more fake boobs and fake women, which I don't need a book to find. The chapter also includes suggested heterosexual and gay male porn titles. While I don't deny that some lesbians enjoy heterosexual and gay porn, the list was out of place. If I were looking for a list of good straight and gay male videos, I wouldn't be looking in a lesbian sex book.
Follow-up commentary
It's a great book, but it's not the kind of book I would read again and again. I'm keeping it on my shelf for when I want to spice things up in the bedroom, but I probably won't be reading it very often.
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My On Our Backs Guide To Lesbian Sex tags
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Bridal gift
    • Gender play
    • Solo
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Bedroom / on a bed
    • Campus/roommate living
This review was edited by
  • markeagleone markeagleone
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  • Edited reviews: 113
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Comments
  • markeagleone
    markeagleone  
    Great review on a book!
  • Eden C.
    Eden C.  
    Thanks for the edit! I know it took a while, but I really appreciate your thoughtful work!
  • Kaltir
    Kaltir  
    Amazing review
  • ~LaUr3n~
    ~LaUr3n~  
    Great review!
  • Eden C.
    Eden C.  
    Thanks, everyone! You're all so nice!
  • tiname25
    tiname25  
    great
  • yatinp30
    yatinp30  
    nice review
  • Eden C.
    Eden C.  
    Thanks!
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