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Fifty Shades of, I can't believe I read this

Don't read this book if you have a decent to awesome sex life. You'll be bored and it will likely ruin your ego after spending money on the book.
Published:
Pros:
something to get you to sleep at night
Cons:
a horrible read
Rating by reviewer:
1
extremely useful review
WOW. Allow me first off to say I actually got through the first book. Don't mistake this as "girl, you must be too busy to read!" I'm not. It was horrible. Repetitive and not even that steamy.

Let's get back to the book I was actually supposed to review, "Fifty Shades Darker".

"Fifty Shades Darker" really isn't any "darker" than the first book, other than Anna gets to meet Mrs. Robinson, finally (of whom she's jealous over, which psychologically doesn't match her character) and there's a stalker character introduced: a former submissive of Mr. Grey's. Lame.

First, the series as a whole is absolutely ridiculous. The plot line would have been slightly better if Anna wasn't a virgin, if their sex life was MORE interesting and perhaps if they did more "normal" activities other than gliding at dawn, or going to extravagant parties. Then, I might have actually made it through the second book. Camping in the woods and having racy-steamy sex, or semi-public sex scenes after a meet-up at the bar or concert... yeah, I'd read that! But Mr. Grey prefers the indoors.

It's taken me two months, TWO MONTHS to read 120 pages of this book. That's how utterly boring it is. Which is why I started out my review saying "I actually made it through the first book".

I feel very bad for people who like this series. Not to personally knock the opinions and likes/dislikes of others, and for this I apologize, but it seems to me the author herself, must have horrible sex. Mediocre at best because my normal routine involves a lot more than being taken from behind time after time after time. "Hey, Mr. Grey, try some different positions". Try bending someone over in the shower and describing that to us, Ms. James. Or why not introduce us to a dominant sexual relationship that involves much, much, more than just spanking? Surely there must be toys out there other than a paddle or flogger and gag to be dealt with!

I don't know how much more I can say about this book/series. I did not like it, it was incredibly boring and I have given my copy to a friend to read for herself without finishing it myself. This book was so bad, I tagged it with "gag gift".
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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My Fifty Shades Darker: Book Two tags
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Gag gift
    • Sex
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Travel friendly
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Book
This review was edited by
  • Jimbo Jones Jimbo Jones
  • Rank:
     
    6.8
  • Edited reviews: 104
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Comments
  • Sangsara
    Sangsara  
    haha ya i thought there was a reason i wasn't interested in it thanx
  • justme23
    justme23  
    Thanks for the review!~
  • Geogeo
    Geogeo  
    Sounds terrible, Ill avoid it, thanks
  • Lildrummrgurl7
    Lildrummrgurl7  
    The "gag gift" tag is very fitting. I had to FORCE myself to finish this book. I lent my roommate my copy of the first book and she lost it. I'm actually happy she lost it. I don't understand the hype around this novel when there's so much more better written erotica out there.
  • amplified to rock
    amplified to rock  
    Thanks for enduring this book so other won't have to.
  • animepanda89
    animepanda89  
    Great review!
  • Sarah Nahk
    Sarah Nahk  
    good review!!
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