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Girl, We Need to Talk

Girl, you are a man wearing a dress. Intrigued yet? Even outside of this film's attractive actors, beautiful sets, and fun variety in their sex there is some humor thrown in to tickle your funny bone and absolutely hilarious quotes to remember long after your horniness subsides! I have to say this porn really impressed me and was almost perfect.
Published:
Pros:
Great Sex Variety, Beautiful Sets, Great Background Music and Cinematography, Hilarious Plot
Cons:
Even with Variety the Sex Endings Were the Same
Rating by reviewer:
4
extremely useful review


Plot/Acting

The plot is amusing! I will continue as much of the review as possible without giving away anything I don’t have to so no one has to worry about many spoilers. But seeing as how it’s hard to get around the premise of the film I’ll tease your funny bone. Three words: men in dresses! They bring a different kind of humor to the film that make it enjoyable to watch for more than just quick stimulation.

The acting is slightly above average for porn. It’s just enough to make the storyline worth following rather than fast-forwarding to the sex. One thing that did hold some of the actors back were their language. It wasn't the accent that limited them but their stuttering with the language. It distracted me from the plot and brought me back to the reality of “this is a porn and they’re just trying to recite lines to make it to the sex”.

As for the category, I’d say slapstick comedy meets girls gone wild. The fact that they don’t make anywhere NEAR convincing females makes this a giggle fest for me. It’s not like the production team actually tried to make them look like women but the attempt is sidesplitting nonetheless.

Intro

The DVD menu had some great jazzy music as the background and had a loop of clips from some of the sex scenes. The lay out was nice and clean as well as featuring a picture of Kayden Kross in large scale.

The opening scene of the film thankfully didn’t give away the entire plot as porns are wont to do. In fact, it was even soothing and artistic. It immediately goes into a slow and sensual scene between two of the characters. It’s definitely a wonderful change from the dirty, loud, fast-paced scenes I suppose I’ve become accustomed too. Though it does become strange when the soothing piano melody in the background disappears fairly suddenly…

Girl Talk 01
Girl Talk 02

Sex Scene 1

It’s the very first scene of the film. It begins with some slow but deep fellatio with, thankfully, no gagging. Though I did wonder at why she was making all the sex noises considering he wasn’t even touching her. I’d much prefer it have been realistic rather than overacted. Also, if you listen closely, you can hear a plane pass overhead – twice!

But back to the sex. There is some 69 oral (complete with slurping sounds), cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, views of her breasts doing something strange when she’s straining, and plenty of loud noises. What I really liked about this scene was the combination of slow pace, white sheets, and non-oiled up bodies making them seem sensual and clean rather than dirty and greasy. What I would change is a smoother fading out of the background music, telling her to be more natural in her acting, and making his legs less hairy.

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Sex Scene 2

The woman is adorable in my opinion and I love her outfit she has on at the beginning of the scene. And the man is an actor from another Kayden Kross porn, but I found it hilarious his change in occupation (from therapist to pizza delivery). He is uncircumcised as well which I know a lot of people have strong opinions about so you are forewarned.

The sex actually includes something different than I’ve seen in other Porn Club films – rimming. And since everyone appears squeaky clean, it was definitely sexy. It’s followed by cunnilingus, very deep fellatio, doggy style, hair-pulling, and sex on a chair! But it did end in my least favorite way – a facial, complete with swallowing.

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Sex Scene 3

The first thing I noticed about this scene is the voluptuous, natural breasts on this woman, and the man didn’t pass them by either. And I have to go ahead and mention that his character amused me and he actually wasn’t too bad of an actor either.

After a little foreplay, it leads into fellatio (again). What I disliked more in this scene particularly is that there is a lot of spit and drool. There is plenty of woman-on-top positioning, which provided an unobstructed view of the action. And then there’s my personal favorite – doggy style. There’s only a small amount of cunnilingus but new to the film is some titty-fucking near the end. I think my favorite part of this scene was the orgasm she definitely seemed to experience while riding him. Or maybe it was the ass slapping. But my least favorite part is a tie between the facial/swallowing and the very squeaky and distracting bed frame.

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Experience
Sex Scene 4

This scene reversely begins with cunnilingus but what detracted from it was her odd whispering during it. I found her really attractive otherwise. As for him, he’s definitely hot, even enough to pull off having sex while wearing a dress. Though I admit it made me laugh when I realized he was still wearing it by the bow at his back. There’s again some really strategic positioning for optimal viewing but I find myself being distracted by her mewing. But I promise with the sound turned down, it’s a great scene. My only real complaint is the extreme facial and swallowing at the end.

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Sex Scene 5

Before the sex even begins I find myself thinking “That couch is loud! Please move off it soon.” But they don’t. So I did my best to ignore it as things got steamy. There was plenty of kissing before going into a long, slow blowjob reminiscent of the first scene of the film which then eventually transitions into one of the quickest cunnilingus scenes ever (though he does go back eventually)!

But the characters don’t take the slow pace forever and it begins to speed up with him finally taking her on the couch and the noises begin! And though they do changing positions a few times to keep it relatively interesting (including rimming again), this scene just seemed to drag on forever for me. For me it wasn’t the best of the film.

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Cinematography - The angles and cuts of the camera were actually very well done. The set designs were clean and beautiful. But my favorite aspect of this porn film’s going above and beyond is the great music.

Worth noting – Not that any porn kisses I’ve seen made me jealous, but I did notice well into the film that none stuck out to me as horrible, awkward, or gross. In fact, that alone is a pleasant change from the usual.

Film Stats

The film is about 107 minutes long.
It comes with both a Blu-Ray and DVD disc.
It’s shot in 16:9 widescreen format.

DVD Title Menu
Play
Chapters
Special Features
-Behind the Scenes
-Gallery
-Slide Show
-Trailers

Contact

Cast
Kayden Kross
Lily LaBeau
Loni Evans
Sara Stone
Charles Dera
Manuel Ferrara
Mick Blue
Scott Nails
Tony Ribas
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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My Girl Talk tags
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Anyone
    • Foreplay
    • Mood enhancer
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
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Comments
  • Emily!
    Emily!  
    Very nice review hun!
  • darthkitt3n
    darthkitt3n  
    This porn just kind of reminds me of the movie White Chicks. Great review!
  • Darling Jen
    Darling Jen  
    Thank you, Emily and darthkitt3n! And I totally agree about the comparison!
  • Mr. E
    Mr. E  
    I did not notice Kayden's breasts doing anything strange while straining in the first scene, but that's OK. It gives me reason enough to go back and look at her breasts again.

    Great review.
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