Great Guide For Beginners (And Men)

Loving yourself and having sex because you want to are two of the most empowering things a woman can give to herself! Melinda Gallagher, M.A., and Emily Scarlet Kramer unlock the mysteries and taboos!
Published:
Pros
Very sex positive, full of useful information and real life advice.
Cons
Snarky, needs more focus on dealing with fears.
Rating by reviewer:
4
extremely useful review
The Cake Philosophy - Women like to initiate sex. We get turned on every day of the week. We are visual. We fantasize. We know how to get ourselves off. We like sex (better than shopping!). We know how our bodies work. Sex isn't over with until we orgasm.

Part I - On Your Own

Chapter 1: From Birth To Babe
When does a woman's sexual journey begin in life? Stories of self-exploration as early as seven years old, climbing rope in gym class. The chapter then goes onto the topic of parent-induced shame for self-pleasuring to an account of a teenager receiving her first vibrator from her mother and then onto the lack of sex positive ideas in public school sex education programs. It finishes with teenage exploration and loss of virginity - the good, the bad and the ugly.

Chapter 2: Rock Your Body and Reap the Rewards
Who hasn't had a bad body image day? This is a realistic approach to a healthy mindset about your body. So it's not perfect, whose really is? The authors give very good ideas for how to feel better about yourself and how to get to know your cycles and most importantly - they tell you it's ok to look at yourself. It's ok to admire yourself and it's ok to feel better than normal when you think your tits and your ass look smokin' hot that day.

Chapter 3: Play Solitaire
"There is no such thing as a bad orgasm." An in-depth look at how to achieve orgasm. There are six pages of techniques described and diagrams of both the female and male anatomy and the location of the ever elusive g-spot! In this chapter you will also find techniques on learning how to fantasize.

Chapter 4: It's A Vibe Thing
This chapter answers a couple of questions about vibrators and offers suggestions on the top rated products on the market. On page 62 there is a brief history of the vibrator.

Chapter 5: Scream If You Want To
This chapter covers all of the different types of female orgasm, from clitoral to female ejaculation. Its inclusion falls into the "all or none" category.

And concludes Part I of The Hot Woman's Handbook with a Hit List of tried and true techniques to get you off.

Part II - Let's Get It On

Chapter 6: Beyond The Missionary
This chapter covers different positions and mutual masturbation. I think the greatest part of this chapter is the section of Tips For The Guys on how to help her cum. It encourages women to speak up in bed and to take control. There is also a discussion about using back up birth control and emergency contraception. This is the basic ins and outs of intercourse with a male partner.

Chapter 7: A Little Help From Our Friends
This chapter has a ton of information about using toys during intercourse. The authors also answers questions and shares user experiences to reassure the reader.

Chapter 8: Dirty Talkin'
How to say those things a lady would never be caught dead saying. Yeah, a lady of the 1800's. Wink, wink.

Chapter 9: Express Yourself
Here, voyeurism is introduced and the reader is asked to consider being watched or watching.

Chapter 10: Casual Encounters
Ah, the world of casual sex. Who hasn't fantasized about dabbling or taken part in the past? The reality of casual sex and the potential for carefree exploration.

This chapter concludes Part II with a Pleasure Mission Checklist based on the topics discussed.

Part III - On The Road

Chapter 11: The Porn Myth
Different genres of porn are discussed with heavy hitting recommendations of films to view with or without a partner. The authors explain why the porn industry is male-centric, pleading with directors to listen to what women really want to see in porn.

Chapter 12: Straight As A Ruler?
This chapter discusses different types of sexuality and very briefly, The Kinsey Scale. It encourages women to fantasize and experience the joys of being with a woman sexually. There is a brief story of how the word 'lesbian' originated.

Chapter 13: Power Play
BDSM and power play is introduced allowing the reader to explore which side of the coin they would like to be on, dispelling rumors that power play compromises equality.

Chapter 14: Birth of The Cake Sam'ich
Threesomes? Foursomes? The scenario doesn't have to be MFF but can also be MMF. The ethics of monogamy and group sex are also discussed. It's an interesting point of view on group sex and I recommend finding out what they have to say about it.

This concludes The Hot Woman's Handbook with a final exam list of activities to explore, from threesomes to amateur porn to lap dancing.
Experience
There are a lot of personal stories and short erotic stories throughout this guide. In addition to techniques to try out and which porn to buy and what toy to get, there are helpful blurbs of advice and little bits of history about sex and women in sex.

There is a slight snarky, man-bashing undertone to the text giving a unbalanced tone. The guide is generally very female positive but I feel it could have addressed how to deal with the fears of rejection a little more thoroughly. Overall, I think it's a great first look at the issues women face with sexual exploration. The "Go Get It Girl" attitude is wonderful, if a bit forced at times.

Scattered through out the guide are many pop culture references that are already dated.

I recommend it for both men and women because I think a man could gain a bit of perspective and understand why it might take a little more time for a woman to admit she is kinky and just how kinky she wants to be. For some women, it completely goes against everything they were raised to believe. This guide helps women give themselves permission to be who they want to be in the bedroom with a little bit of oomph on the outside!
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This review was edited by
  • Annemarie Contributor: Annemarie
  • Rank:
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Comments
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  • Contributor: ~LaUr3n~
    Very interesting take on this! Great review!
  • Contributor: Lady Neshamah
    great review
  • Contributor: Kayla
    Great review. This has been on my wish-list for forever, but I think it's time I finally take the plunge and purchase it!
  • Contributor: PussyGalore
    Thanks Lauren and Kayla. This is my first book review and I had a lot of fun trying to summarize the chapters. I think it's more of a reinforcement for experienced women, but overall it was worth the read!
  • Contributor: namelesschaos
    Great review. Good job on your first book review.
  • Contributor: PussyGalore
    Thank you nameless! And of course if anyone has advice on how to make it better for my next review, please do tell!
  • Contributor: SexyStuff
    Very thorough review, thanks so much!
  • Contributor: M121212
    This looks like a fun read. Great review!
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