Great primer for the BDSM newbie

The Bottoming Book is a fantastic primer for a person just dipping their toes into the BDSM pool. By no means is it the all-inclusive bible on the topic of bottoming, but it's a damn good starting point.
Published:
Pros:
The book is written to a gender-neutral audience.
Cons:
The information on aftercare could have been a bit more lengthy.
Rating by reviewer:
5
useful review
This is a very worthwhile read for an individual who is new to the D/s (domination/submission) dynamics within the BDSM subculture. Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy have a wealth of combined experiences and share them graciously with their readers. I particularly enjoy that they speak in a gender-neutral manner and make no assumptions about the sexual orientation of any reader.

One topic I found particularly stimulating is "Getting what you want, and lots of it!" The chapter addresses subjects like where your power is, and how to claim it while still being on your knees. Though the chapter isn't lengthy, it does address the stereotype that a bottom is stripped of their individuality when in a bottoming role. For newbies to BDSM this is vital to tear down.

Janet and Dossie also spend time talking about how to negotiate scenes and set limits. As someone who has made her mistakes in this area prior to reading about how to go about this, it's one area I'd suggest novices be very informed about.

Safety is discussed at length, and in various scenarios such as choosing partners, bondage, emotions, safewords, playing in public, keeping things consensual, and disease prevention. I also appreciate that they differentiate between bottoming and sex. Many people do not and it's refreshing to see that some seasoned, respectable BDSM players can transmute a scene sexually without it becoming physically sexual.

There's a chapter included called S/M and spirituality (S/M in this case stands for sadism/masochism, though if you see it as S/m is stands for Master/slave). There's discussion about a lot of pain being very ritualistic. I found this to be an interesting read, and learned about the connection that the BDSM community has to tribes that consider piercings to be a spiritual experience. Now when I play with pain in the context of a scene, I focus on the healing aspect of it and use it for growth on a personal level.

Other chapters I found particularly useful were those involving scenes: getting ready, ending a scene, and playing scripts, such as rough play, humiliation, body modifications, and looking good.

The Bottoming Book will always have a place on my bookshelf. Though the information is brief, it does give a person food for thought and allows for further research on topics of interest. Dossie and Janet work very well as a team and have a light yet respecful style of writing.
Follow-up commentary
I still appreciate and tell those new to the "subculture of kink" to pick up The New Bottoming Book. There isn't any new information that I glean from it if I re-read it on occasion. It's a quick, little read and pointing new people to this book just serves to better your kinky community by giving its new members a leg up on what they need to know.
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My The New Bottoming Book tags
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Any couple
    • Everyone
    • Relaxation/alone time
    • Sexually inexperienced/beginners
    • Teasing a partner
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
    • Dorm room/campus living
    • Home
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Comments
  • Kayla
    Kayla  
    I just bought this book but haven't started reading it yet. Sounds like I made a good purchase. Thanks! Smile
  • KinkyShay
    KinkyShay  
    Is was definitely a good buy.
  • Sammi
    Sammi  
    Sounds like a good one!
  • Kynky Kytty
    Kynky Kytty  
    That's an interesting book. I have never really explored BDSM, though if I did I would be more into the D/s side of it. I'm still curious about the subject. Thanks!
  • Viktor Vysheslav Malkin
    Viktor Vysheslav Malkin  
    Great review, sounds interesting Big smile
  • KinkyShay
    KinkyShay  
    @ Sammi and Viktor - thanks!
    @ Kynky Kytty - I think you'd find this book a good read, even as someone simply curious about the subculture.
  • NuMe
    NuMe  
    Nice review, thanks!
  • Gardenvy
    Gardenvy  
    Nice review. This sounds like a book that I may be curious about.
  • lezergirl
    lezergirl  
    nice review!
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