The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy - guides to a better sex by Cleis Press Inc. - review by Kayla

"The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy" is a book written by Violet Blue and published by Cleis Press. The tagline is "How to Turn your Fantasies into Reality". The book is a softcover book with black and white pages on the inside. The book is pretty hefty at 256 pages and 14 separate chapters. The book is a bit long; it took me about two and a half hours to read all the way through the book. The book is pretty discreet; there are no illustrations on the inside, but the outside does show a fetish shoe along with the title. You can read it in public with no problem if you can keep the cover hidden.`

This book, as you can imagine, focuses on the idea of learning about different sexual fantasies. Violet Blue is a great writer, and she's going to take you through some of the basics of some of the more common (and a bit of obscure) types of sexual fantasies. None of the book is really in-depth, but if you want to explore a fantasy, this does give you a very good starting point. Because it covers so much information, you aren't going to get a huge amount of specific information on any one thing, but Violet Blue does provide resources to where you can seek out additional information. (For example, the kink chapter is only 20 pages long, but other books have been written on kink alone at over 300 pages long.) It won't get in-depth on anything, but it does a good job of providing the basics for pretty much everything in the book.

Violet Blue is a great writer. The book is centered a lot on being a couple. This book is really not intended for those who are single and just looking to read. It's more intended for a couple who wants to sexually experiment. Violet Blue does a great job of also using sexuality-inclusive language such as referring to homosexuals and transsexuals as well. Regardless of who it is written for, it can be read by anyone of any orientation.

One of the neater features of that book is that, like some of Violet Blue's other how-to titles (Smart Girl's Guide to Porn/G-Spot), she "hired" an erotica writer to write some erotica for the book. In this case, it was Alison Tyler. After (mostly) every chapter, Alison Tyler would have a two/three page short erotic story that would use some of the features from the chapter before it. For example, on the chapter about fetishes, the erotic story afterwards features a lesbian woman who has a fetish for panties. The stories aren't long and aren't nearly as in-depth as the one in erotica anthologies, but they are a neat addition none-the-less.

I wouldn't say this is the "end all, be all" book about sexual fantasies, but it does a good job of including some of the basic ones. Obscure ones like watersports or caning aren't really included, but when it comes to calling up a call girl or visiting a Pro Domme, you'll be covered. Again, it's not too detailed, but it couldn't be without being a large bible of information instead of an easy-to-read book. I will say that I was a bit disappointed by the lack of information about therapy. Violet Blue mentions that fantasies can really bother you or make you feel guilty, and while she's right to say that fantasy is a normal thing, sometimes people really are bothered by it and should be seeking therapy to help "balance" their fantasy with reality.

As a sidenote, Violet Blue does something in this book that I've never seen before. She talks about how to deal with a fetish in the clinical sense of the word. Yes, we all have our "fetishes", but the clinical definition includes when you are unable to get off without the fetish present. Violet Blue talks about how you and your partner can work with that so it won't destroy your relationship. Again, though, she never mentions counseling as an option.

This book looks into a lot of different things: It explores what a fantasy is and why it's acceptable, it talks about how to do "fantasies for one" which is basically ways to incorporate sex toys to make your daydreaming seem more realistic, it talks about how to talk to your partner about your fantasy as well as how to ask for it or deal with it if your partner isn't interested, it talks about roleplay including how to do a good roleplay and gives you some specific roleplay scenerios to act out, it talks about group sex including ways to find your extra partners as well as how to avoid jealousy, it talks about how to learn to talk dirty as well as give a sexy striptease to your partner, it talks about how to give an erotic massage, it talks about how to pick and find a stripclub as well as implicit rules to follow, it talks about how to have phone sex or visit a call girl including their "standard" rates, it talks public sex and how to best to do it avoid being caught.

(That above paragraph was horrid with grammar. I know.) It also talks about different fetishes and how to talk to your partner about them. It then explains some different types of fetishes. (I felt like this chapter was a little lacking information.) It talks about BDSM and being the top/bottom as well as visiting a public play party or visiting a Pro Domme. The book gives a little bit about how to involve food in your play, how to take erotic photography, how to do a home-made porn movie, and how to use the internet to your sexual advantage.

The final chapters are the Safer Sex resource as well as the Resources guide. The resources guide will give you more information about any of the topics Violet Blue talked about. The Safer Sex guide gives you a basic run-down of protection methods as well as an amazingly-handy chart that lets you know what, exactly, you're at risk of getting when you do unprotected ____ (kissing, oral sex, vaginal sex, etc.).

I like this book. I will admit that it gets a little dry to read at times, but the information is always good. Violet Blue's writing is usually pretty entertaining, and she provides a lot of information in this book that I have never thought about including standard rates when you attend Pro Dommes or implicit rules when you visit a strip club. While it's not in-depth, it's a guide that covers quite a few different sexual activities.