Official Friday The 13th Parody by Zero Tolerance - review by TitsMcScandal

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Horrifically Horny

This is a hilarious (pro because it is a parody) sexy (pro because it is a porno) film that has great pornstars that have awesome chemistry. I could see myself watching this over and over again from start to finish because I enjoyed the non-sex parts as much as I enjoyed the sex parts!
Published:
Pros:
Funny, hot, well shot, great chemistry between actors, nice plot.
Cons:
Girls weren't into each other in the threesome scene.
Rating by reviewer:
5
extremely useful review


I have never been so excited about an adult movie, (ehem, porno) that wasn't specifically in my niche of porn that I know I enjoy. You see, I'm a HUGE horror movie fan. So when I read a while back about the new line of horror adult parodies that were being released by Zero Tolerance I was excited. I knew I'd be adding a few new pornos to my collection. Add to my excitement when I found out that this movie would be a selection for the porn club!

The menu screen is completely anti-porn. There is a "Jason" lurking behind trees and in a mask next to a cabin. It says, "The Officially Friday the 13th Parody" in big letters. So what does this mean for you? If you have this in the dvd player and your cousin knocks on your door you can hit menu and no one will suspect you are watching a porno. Yea!!! There are six options for you on the main menu, "Play Movie" (self-explanatory), "Scene Selection" (self-explanatory), "BTS" (A behind the scenes look), "Trailers" (Previews to other movies), "Gallery" (Still Frames), and "Popshots" (Compilation of cumshots).

The movie starts out with Sarah Sloane asking how to get to crystal lake nudist resort where she, as a skimpily clad masseuse, will be working. She gets the lowdown about how the resort shut down tears ago when Jason, drowned in the lake due to the massive size of his penis. Then he fermented and now shoots off flesh eating jizz. Scary. That's the basic storyline. Sure, there are random little scene shots inbetween porno scenes, but nothing that is really plot driven. It's more focused on the sex than the plot.

The first scene is hot. It's a scene between a female Domme- Courtney Cummz- and a sub male- Mr. Pete. This will be a tame scene for those of us who are heavily into kink, but it's just perfect for a vanilla porn movie. I know I didn't expect the scene and I was very pleasantly surprised. There was a perfect blend of face-sitting, ass-eating, sloppy blowjobs, and sex. There's also a small amount of anal sex in this scene. There's also a part where she spits into the guy's mouth. I know it squicks some people out, for me it's just HOT! I felt like Goldilocks, the scene was JUST RIGHT! Of course killer jizz Jason cums and kills them.

The next sex scene is with the gorgeous Asa Akira and the hot bodied Rocco Reed. This scene doesn't have any kink dynamic but is hot nonetheless. I think the chemistry that plays out on screen makes them so amazing to watch. The way they interact makes it seem like they really are a couple who makes hot passionate fuckery on a daily basis. It's a pretty basic sex scene though in terms of what is included (oral, vaginal, no anal this scene). Rocco cums on Asa and they part their ways (him to rest and her to clean up in the bathroom). The way Rocco dies is an homage to the original movie (you'll have to watch it to see what I mean :p ) and then Asa is killed by killer jizz like the couple in the first scene.

The third scene is the throwback scene where a younger (and much different looking) Jason (Carlo Carrera) is explaining his large post-coital penis condition to Kagney Linn Karter. The scene is pretty basic, once again, oral, cowgirl, he comes on her face. THEN IT HAPPENS! His penis grows to monstrous proportions, she screams, and he runs away. In the process of running away, he ran into the lake and drowned. He has haunted the nudist resort ever since. Duh Duh DUUUUUUUH!

The next scene is by far the worst. It is a threesome scene with Brooklyn Reed, Mark Wood, and Brook Lee. It started off with a game of Strip-opoly, which is the silliest strip version of a game I've ever heard of, but whatever floats your boat. They end up abandoning the game (thank goodness, do you KNOW how long monopoly takes?) and having a threesome. Which sounds fine and dandy, I'm a fan of threesomes, but these girls did not look like they were enjoying themselves. They looked like they would rather be getting a root canal done. They weren't into each other and that made me not into the scene.

The last sex scene is with Kris Slater and Sara Sloane. They don't start out having sex, but after they think they've killed Jason (by chopping off his monster load blowing cock) they decide to celebrate... by having sex (once again, oral, PiV, cumshot). Smart, right? Eh, you'll have to watch the movie to find out!
Experience
Overall, this movie was great. Sure, there are a few things that just made me go, "Eh". Like the bugs on screen in the first scene. Or the completely lack of girl-girl interest in the threesome scene. Or the fact that they kept mentioning having an orgy in the first fifteen minutes but it NEVER happened. Yeah, the orgy thing got to me more than anything else. Don't hint at an orgy then not deliver!
Follow-up commentary
So I ended up giving this away to one of my guy friends who is OBSESSED with the Friday the 13th series (he even has a tattoo of Jason on his shoulder). As much as I really liked the movie I knew he would give it a better home than I would.

I asked him from a hardcore Friday the 13th fan perspective how the film was and he had barely any complaints. His only complaint was that from a huge fan's view he wanted the sex scenes to go quicker. However, this being a porno that can't be too unexpected. He liked the story and the ways that it stayed true to aspects of the original film storyline. I was even more impressed with the porno after hearing his critique since he is as large of a fan of the original. So even though this is great for people like me who enjoyed the original film, it is also great for the hardcore Jason fans out there too.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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Comments
  • KnK
    KnK  
    Thanks for the review!
  • Selective Sensualist
    Selective Sensualist  
    Great review! I thought the second scene was amazingly hot and agree that they seemed like a real -- and very passionate -- couple.
  • Naughty Student
    Naughty Student  
    So what happens whe they get flech eating jizz on them...does the skin melt away, lol. Great review.
  • naughtyjo
    naughtyjo  
    You make this film sound like so much fun! I love a good horror, too, and might just give this a whirl, now. Thanks for the review x
  • mandaj
    mandaj  
    this was a really good review, thanks for sharing
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