The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio - guides to a better sex by Cleis Press Inc. - review by SneakersAndPearls

For me, a blow job has always been just that: a job. Jaw cramps, neck aches, back pain, the lack of connection, the time involved...who needs it?! I lived in dread of when my husband would ask for one and begrudgingly agreed while trying to be excited about it and utterly failing. I just couldn't help noticing that so many other couples enjoy it. I thought, "I must be doing something wrong." So began my quest for finding out how not only to give great oral sex, but enjoy doing it as well. When I came across Violet Blue's book, "The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio", it seemed like it was the absolute perfect solution.

At first I was a little put off by the book. The illustrations seemed a little corny to me, though others may call them cutesie or possibly even kitsch. I may sound like a snob but I also have to say that the margins bothered me. There was much more empty space at the outer edges of the pages than the center. I felt awkward reading it at first but I got used to it and eventually didn't notice. But if you are the kind of person that likes to make notes in the margins, the asymmetry of the pages make it so there is plenty of room!

The text itself was amazing. Ms. Blue was not kidding when she called this an ultimate guide and tries to include everything that could possibly have anything to do with giving oral pleasure to a man. This means that at least some of the content is not going to appeal to everyone, and the extra squeamish may be intimidated or perhaps even offended by some of the sections. All the sections are clearly marked, so if erotica isn't your thing or the idea of rimming makes you want to hide, it's easy to skip. You won't accidentally read content that you didn't mean to.

The first half of the book focuses most of its energy on the inexperienced, especially those who have never given or received a blow job. Shame issues, fear, shyness, concerns over hygiene, safer sex practices, etiquette, anatomy, and even worries about taste and texture are all addressed. Need some practice? She teaches you how to practice on your hand and a dildo. Not sure what your partner will like? She gives some suggestions for foreplay games that will help partners communicate about their likes and dislikes.

Then it's on with the show! Newbies and pros alike will learn from the techniques listed for the main event. Different strokes, genital massage, position suggestions, gagging issues and even pressure points to help arousal and pleasure are clearly laid out.

In addition to all the information that nearly everyone can use, there are more specialized sections, such as how to go down on a dildo, healing times for genital piercings, tips for sex in public and erotica suggestions.

Joining all the information in the book are seven short, fellatio-focused erotica stories. If that's not your thing they are clearly marked so that they can be skipped.

I had a rocky start with this book and wasn't sure if was really going to be for me. After taking some of the advice seriously and putting some of the techniques into practice, I found that my husband and I are really connecting in an act that I mistakenly considered selfish before. He's enjoying the new feelings, and more amazingly, I'm enjoying myself. Even my husband gained new understanding of what it's like to be the giver after flipping through the book and was then more able to help me enjoy giving as much as he enjoyed receiving.

This book has been one of our best bedroom friends. Violet Blue is witty, knowledgeable, and gives fantastic advice for beginners all the way through advanced. This is not a book that I read once and then ignored it, but instead I reach for it whenever I need a refresher or to learn a new technique.

I've read other oral sex books since I first read this one. Honestly, no other text I've come across has been even half as good as the information presented here.