The New Topping Book - bdsm toy by Greenery Press - review by Dragon

Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy are prolific writers. Together they have written five unique books although some have been rewritten in new editions. There is The Ethical Slut, When Someone you love is Kinky, The New Bottoming Book, and Radical Ectasy: S/M Journeys to Transcendence.

Dossie works as a therapist in San Francisco and has a loving and sexual personality. She and Janet are friends, partners and co-authors. Their work is well written from long experience and filled with many wonderful stories and examples.

In the world of BDSM their are many different terms. Some of the most common are "Tops" and "Bottoms" referring to who takes either the dominant or submissive role at any given time. The New Topping Book is a comprehensive guide to what Tops in BDSM. Most individuals have personal conceptions about both the use of power and the use of violence. Dossie and Janet set up a framework for the book as a lot of BDSM is the adult version of playing through the use of specific scenes and just as you would build a safe place to build a fire you build a safe place to play. Some BDSM play is about power, some sensation, some feeling, some mind play, some spirituality. They are clear that setting up environments or scenes where you feel safety emotional or physical is important because within the designated scene boundaries are more fluid. This is why so much of BDSM often includes rituals such as props and costumes to help define play space and time for individuals.

This book covers just about everything about tops except how to use specific equipment. What are tops, what they do, rights/responsibilities, learning, ethics, communication, toys and mishaps! Written in a style that includes personal examples as well as the examples of others throughout the book it is both informative and narrative. This is well written and humorous text. For example, "As tops, we have noticed that if we are having a good time and our bottom safewords, our initial feelings may not be happy. Whaddaya mean you don't like that? I do all this work and you don't appreciate it? I'm hot for being in control and you want me to stop? We have felt real anger and felt challenged in our top role."

Some of the true themes of the book are communication and safety. There are examples in how to state your needs and limits. Communication may not be at it's best when things go wrong. There are bottoms that don't provide enough responsiveness for a top called "Black Holes." Safety includes physical safety and emotional safety both before, during and after a scene. BDSM play may trigger emotions that require checking in later. They tell of a story of a scene that took place during the Loma Prieta earthquake and how those players now have additional safety precautions.

The book also includes sections on finding others, BDSM communities, resources, and introducing BDSM to exisiting relationships.

Lime Green and with "Topping" written across the front, this book is a bit of an eye catcher. The back is black with text though so it was easy enough for me to carry around the children. There are no pictures, but the book does have numerous easily read subtitles. This makes it great for reading section by section.

Published by Greenery Press, the title page contains something that I don't recall ever seeing before. A disclaimer about the inherent risk of physical and emotional injury that may be involved with BDSM activities.

There is a lot of accurate information in this book. There is also information that may seem obvious, but may trigger some of your own emotions based on personal experiences. If you've had sexual experiences that went awry, explored BDSM on a tentative basis or are dealing with any sexual problems may sure that you allow enough time to think about some of the thoughts that may be generated by this book.

For example, The Tops Bill of Rights includes the Following:
-You have the right to clear communication
-You have the right to expect support from your partner - whether you're in scene space or out of it.
-You have a right to be Nurtured
-You have the Right to Get your Needs Met
-You have a Right to Responsiveness
-You have a right to Constructive Feedback

Many of these issues could be restated for any sexual couple.