Not What I Expected

If you are interested in the BDSM lifestyle or considering attending a play party, this book can be of a huge benefit, as it discusses what a top needs to do to become a great top. But if you are not into sceneing, and looking for information about a D/s dynamic, then you'll be disappointed. For what it discusses, it's a fantastic, easy to read guide. Even though it wasn't what I was looking for, I'm not upset it's on my bookshelf.
Published:
Pros:
Well written, Authors are experts in the field
Cons:
Not about relationship dynamics
Rating by reviewer:
4
extremely useful review
The New Topping Book, by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy, is a go-to guide for those interested in topping, dominating, or simply exploring the BDSM scene. The authors are both very active in the Lifestyle, and have been partners for many years. They've written books (obviously), run workshops, and spoke at conferences, making it is easy to call them both experts in the field.

I bought this book, and its partner, with the intention of finding information relating to bottoming to my husband, but that is not what I found on the pages. The information presented focused on public sceneing, such as at BDSM events and play parties, and offered very little in way of BDSM relationships and/or dynamics. As a matter of fact, it often describes taking a role, or character, when in scenes, which is not what I was looking for within my dynamic.

Easton and Hardy cover all aspects of topping, from negotiation to watching your bottom for problems that may arise to what to do in the case of an emergency. They give "Interludes," stories of their own experiences, which help to demonstrate some of the points they make throughout the book. They put it best in the introduction, saying, "...no amount of abstract instruction carries the same weight as the stuff that happens in the real world."

The book doesn't glorfy BDSM, and gives on honest, realistic perspective. Even with the "Interludes," there are stories where things didn't work out, and the scene had to stop and be re-evaulated. This is a fantastic aspect, because it lets the beginner know that no matter how good you plan things out, issues can and will arise.

Some of the highlights for me, which I was able to apply to my own relationship, include the importance of aftercare, the top's awareness of where the sub is, both physically and mentally,and the inclusion of an after the event type of talk. I was also pleased to see the push for empathy from the top, as many uninformed people think of tops as cruel, heartless people who do not care for their bottoms, which can't be further from the truth!

The book is well written and flows easily when reading. They use a common lexicon, and even someone with very little experience with BDSM and its terms will be able to follow along and understand what is being discussed.

All things considered, the book does a fantastic job discussing sceneing and the relationship between between top and bottom, but if you are looking to add a dynamic to your relationship, this is not the book for you.
Experience
I bought this book after it was recommended from a blogging friend. At that time, I was stuggling with my desire to become submissive, and opening up the discussion with my husband. Both this book, and its partner The New Bottoming Book, were suggested, but she mentioned that reading this book first would benefit me, knowing what to expect from my hubby, were he to accept the challenge.

So, I ordered the book, and eagerly began to read it. And that is where my eagerness ended.

The book was not bad, but was not what I was looking for. Being that my husband and I don't "scene," much of the information was not relavant to our circumstances.
Follow-up commentary
There's not much to say about a follow-up review on a book. The more I get into the BDSM scene, the more I can take from this book. As I mentioned in the review, if you are into public play, or playing with people you aren't in relationships with, it has a lot of relevant information. For my dynamic, it wasn't overly helpful.
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My The New Topping Book tags
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Bdsm
    • Heavy play
    • Light play
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
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Comments
  • allme1
    allme1  
    very good review.
  • Chelle Love
    Chelle Love  
    Good to know... Great review...
  • RememberMe
    RememberMe  
    Nice.
  • SiNn
    SiNn  
    great review
  • Isabel0329
    Isabel0329  
    Thanks for the review.
  • amplified to rock
    amplified to rock  
    Thanks for the review! This seems like it wouldn't be super helpful for me, either.
  • toydiamondring
    toydiamondring  
    great
  • GONE!
    GONE!  
    Great review!
  • SaiDiscordia
    SaiDiscordia  
    Thanks for the review. I have had this one and its companion on my wishlist for awhile. Very happy to see that it can still be helpful to a point.
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