The Ten Minute Sexual Solution - book discontinued by Hatherleigh Press - review by Sabriel

The Ten Minute Sexual Solution, written by Dr. Darcy Luadzers, a sex therapist, is geared for people (both hetero- and homosexual) who are in a long-term relationship, married or otherwise, and are suffering from a decrease in their sex life. Dr. Darcy goes over many different causes related to this issue; however she, focuses on partners where one has low sexual desire for no apparent health reasons. The main objective of this book is to increase sexual desire by fixing problems in the relationship that may lie elsewhere. With this in mind, the chapters are arranged so couples work through the basic foundations of a healthy relationship, with the thought that increased communication in both sexual related conversations and normal, every-day conversation coupled with anger management and "fair fighting" practices will ultimately increase sexual desire in the low desire partner. Right from the beginning, "maintenance" sex is mentioned, however it is not covered until later in the book and where you find out is not recommended until the couple completes a month of sexual abstinence and follows the "homework" exercises mentioned in the earlier chapters. The Ten Minute Sexual Solution gets its name from the philosophy that if the couple spends ten minutes a day on the homework exercises and later spends ten min. a day on "maintenance" sex (aka: quickies), the sexual desire of the low desire individual will gradually increase, while the desires of the higher demand partner will be slaked by the daily quickie. Ultimately, this plan leads towards the greater goal of sex every day with a highly romantic/marathon session about once a week (give or take) and both partners pleased with the amount of sex in the relationship.

While I think the ideas and methods are fundamentally sound, they don't address everything for every couple. I will admit to having low desire (which is why I review in general--the new toys and a deadline help spur me on--and why I requested this book); however, it is not due to our relationship being overwhelmed with stress, kids, anger, or health. We don't have kids, we rarely fight and if we do, we settle it properly and we don't have any health-related issues that may be in the way, like the book suggests. So, while the book will probably address a lot of people's issues and help them fix themselves, it certainly doesn't fit everybody. However, I imagine it would be quite difficult to write a book that encompasses everything, so I can’t blame the book too much for that.

On another note, I found this book difficult to read; not because the words were too hard or the ideas were too obscure, but the book itself reads like an infomercial. I had to force myself to read it through in its entirety and I think it really could have been written and laid out better. The "Sexercises" are buried in the middle of chapters, meaning the only way you can really find them to reference them after reading the book is to use the index, and there seemed to be quite a few grammatical errors. These things might not bother other people, but it really irritated me.

So, overall, I believe this book has some good advice – if you can get yourself to read through it.