Something About Suicide...

Suicide Girls: The First Tour is a behind-the-scenes look at the Burlesque Live Tour that the SG went on. It shows interviews, their performances, and videos of photoshoots, but the movie does leave things to be desired.
Published:
Pros
Decent look behind-the-scenes of the live tour
Cons
Grainy video, Immature girls, Gets boring easily, Sometimes laughable Burlesque
Rating by reviewer:
2
extremely useful review
"Suicide Girls: The First Tour" is a one-disk DVD that shows off the Suicide Girls first Burlesque tour. The DVD features music from a ton of different emo/indie artists, and it focuses on some of the original SuicideGirls. The case is a non-traditional case in that it folds out in a tri-fold of cardboard instead of having a plastic case. The disk does contain female nudity, but it isn't pornographic in the slightest.

I guess the best way to describe this would be to consider it like a VH1/MTV "feature" that'd you'd see afterhours on television. That's how unpornographic it is. It basically is just a behind-the-scenes look at the SuicideGirls when they went on their Burlesque Tour and did performances on-stage. This DVD does not really take advantage of a DVD format, and the footage is grainy and looks like it's a VHS video as well as the music can be difficult to deal with since sometimes it's too loud, and sometimes it's too soft.

The DVD follows a pretty basic format. First, we come onto the DVD listening to an interview with Missy who is the founder of SuicideGirls and listening to why she founded it. While we do that, we see outtakes of the girls on the tour including lounging on pools, in vans, and such. After this little introductory piece, we get into the meat of the movie. Each girl follows the same "formula" which makes this movie very predictable. Each girl goes one at a time with this formula as well which can make it difficult to fast-foward through all of any section at once.

First off, there is a transition into the girl's section which is basically just outtakes from the group being together that focuses on some random aspect of the girl. I found these the most annoying. Most because almost all of these outtakes focused on the girls being giant pains in the asses to everyone around them. The girls called it "living" while I called it being a pain. For example, they went nude swimming in a hotel's pool in them middle of the night while other guests were horrified. They took shopping carts and rammed them into poles. They ran around in thongs and pasties on the street and tried to get a cab to stop so they could dance around it. They chugged their drinks then threw the plastic cups on the ground and stomped on them and kicked them around. They did lots of screaching, screaming, and laughing. Now, maybe I'm a fuddy-duddy and boring, but I don't consider these things "cute" nor "adventurous". I call them a way to get in the way of others. Either way, maybe you'd enjoy their little adventures more than I did. The transition section lasts anywhere from 3 minutes to about 8 minutes.

After the transition, we get to see the interview. The interview is basically each girl talking about how they got into SuicideGirls and how it changed their lives. It's pretty short at about five minutes each. If you don't want to listen to them talk, you can use the "No Talking" playthrough feature on the menu and interviews are left out.

After interviews, we see the Burlesque performance. This is easily my favorite part of the DVD, and one that I wish the DVD had more of. Each performance is about a minute to three minutes, so it isn't much. We see each girl in the Burlesque performance that she did for the live tour that the girls did. Some of them are pretty hot while others just look fumbly and silly. For example, the girls bring out a giant tarp and start touching one another and pouring chocolate sauce and whipped cream *everywhere*. Maybe someone finds this attractive, but I thought everyone just ended up looking like mud monsters. Another girl does a dance while swigging wine, and then she'd spit the wine in her mouth at the audience. Another leads two girls out on a leash then proceeds to "punish" the schoolgirls with a ruler. These were easily the most interesting to watch.

After the Burlesque Performance is the photoshoot sessions. This is basically a camera watching Missy while she does an entire photoshoot session with a girl. It shows how the girl moves and takes off her clothing, and it's basically just the video of the pictures being taken. If you actually paid attention to SG, you would probably recognize some of these sets on the website. This section usually lasts about four minutes. They aren't boring to watch, but they aren't amazing amusing either.

The SuicideGirls featured in this DVD are Tegan, Snow, Pearl, Stormy, Reagan, Nixon, London, RavenIsis, Sicily, and Shera.
Experience
The girls spend a good chunk of the movie in various stages of undress. For most of the movie, they are usually found in underwear and pasties (usually electrical tape). As much as Missy claimed that SG was for various bodytypes in the beginning of the movie, not a single plus-size girl is to be found which was very disappointing to me. The girls are a lot more "alternative" looking than the SG that currently exists, and you'll see lots of dreads and tattoos along with odd choices in fashion.

This movie provides plenty of ways to watch it. You can play the movie straight through, play the movie by chapter-by-chapter, play the movie with no talking, watch some outtakes and extra features, watch a Probot music video, and watch about their tattoos. The chapters are actually really useful since you can pick and choose by girl and then further chose by wheather you want to watch all of that girl's section, just the interview, just the performance, or just the photo set.

The movie was boring though to be a bit honest. I felt like this entire movie could have been better done. The transition aspect almost always left me with a "How immature" taste in my mouth, and the interviews rarely left me feeling like I knew the girl at all. The Burlesque was fun to watch, but some were a bit tacky, and all were so short that it was sad. The photoshoots were interesting, but as you can imagine, since they were just video put to music, I wouldn't call it the most amazing thing ever. That's why, half-way through the movie, both the boyfriend and I were "There's more girls? Dammit" when another girl came on. We both were ready for it to end. Maybe if you had more of a love for SG, you might be more willing to sit through the full DVD without getting bored.

The boyfriend wanted to give this 4 stars while I'm giving it three. He says that it was decently presented and about what he expected from the DVD. I say that, while it was what I expected, I feel like it didn't impress me much in any manner, and I feel like the lack of quality and the formulaic presentation gets old. Very rarely did we ever go "She looks hot", and the movie was never arousing. In fact, it was more irritating and turned us off ever wanting to subscribe to the website. However, if you like SG/teenage-acting girls to begin with, Suicide Girls: The First Tour isn't horribly done and would be worth watching
Follow-up commentary
I still do not like this DVD. It really has left a negative opinion in my mind about the SuicideGirls as well.
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  • Contributor: I'll Miss You EF :(
    I have a Suicide Girls video and some of their interviews just left me feeling ill towards the suicide girls instead of turned on and wanting to look at them more.

    I would have given it 2 stars, but I found you were more generous than I would have been!

    Another great review!
  • Contributor: leatherlover
    Thanks for the review. The outtakes section sounds really annoying.
  • Contributor: Bunnycups
    Great description! MTV, say no more.
  • Contributor: namelesschaos
    Good review, I've never hand much interest in SG and now I have even less interest.
  • Contributor: ? Amanda ?
    Great review. I think I still want to get it out of curiosity now.
  • Contributor: lzbncrckhead
    thanks for reviewing this, one less thing to put on my list
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