The Rocki Whore Picture Show: A Hardcore Parody The Rocki Whore Picture Show: A Hardcore Parody

DVD discontinued
by Unspoken Market

"Swallow all my babies. Take 'em all down"- Frank n Beans

This film is awesome both as a porno and a feature film. This is a porno you could watch on your own and easily masturbate to, or watch with friends for a chuckle or two. If you were into the original Rocky Horror Picture Show, this is a must watch for you.
Published:
Pros
Special Features, Actors have genuine likeness to who they are parodying
Cons
I see none
Rating by reviewer:
5
extremely useful review

Content / Genre / Audience

This film is pornographic, but it is also a satire. It is one of the most unusual and interesting porn films I have ever seen. I feel like this was geared for almost anyone, because even if you don't dig the sexy scenes, there is still tons of actual plot. Even when the characters are getting it on, they stay in character and say some hilarious things. I personally thought the comedic value of this film is exactly what made it so interesting and is probably why this film received 9 AVN awards.
This is a fun film to watch with friends or to watch solo. A fun way for couples to open up about their sexual desires.

The Rocki Whore Picture show is not a far cry from the original "Rocky Horror Picture Show". The same premise applies. Brad and Janet are lost and need to use a phone. So, what do they do? Well they just walk up to the big scary house they see in the middle of nowhere and ask to use theirs! This film does have a narrator who stays fully clothed. He pops in every now and again to make commentary of what is going on in the film.

Brad & Janet in the Car
The happy couple are honeymooning, and in a very cute way, get lost in the "Middle of Nowhere". In the car, Brad proclaims many "Dammit Janet"'s and keeps the spirit of the original Brad alive. Janet starts their foreplay by sucking Brad's cock, he then returns the favor with some vagina licking. They then do the deed in the front seat, with Janet on top of Brad. This scene bounces from looking at her face and looking at her bum going up on down on his cock. Brad comes on her inner thigh, and Janet uses her fingers to play with it. In this scene, Brad seems to be genuinely enjoying himself, but Janet's moans and groans seem forced and fake. The couple does have chemistry, but her lack of enthusiasm really throws it off.
They are then off to continue their honeymoon, but it's not long before the GPS in their car starts telling them they are in the middle of nowhere, and then tells them they are officially lost. Then they try and find that phone inside the creepy house, on foot in the rain since their cellphones don't have service.

Into the Big Scary Mansion
They are greeted at the door by the butler(Stiff Staff), who mistakes them for the couple they were expecting from an agency. It's doesn't take much for him to convince the couple to come in and come upstairs. Here is where you meet Frank n Beans and discover that he is a pornographic film director. You also get your first musical number of the film, "Over sexed porn stars". After the musical number, Frank n Beans tells the couple that Brad may be normal, but Janet is "waiting to explode" in the porn industry. Janet is pretty entranced with the idea, but Brad quickly shoots it down.

"Places Everyone" The first sexy scene in Frank n Beans film
It starts out with Vagina and Euphoria making out, helping each other remove clothing, and suckling each others breasts. The butler(Stiff Staff) is the camera man and many others, including Janet and Brad, stand around watching. The two females actually seem to be enjoying themselves. Vagina goes down on Euphoria first, and is quite rough with her clitoris. Then they switch positions and Euphoria is licking, sucking, and fingering Vagina's vagina. Euphoria then starts using a few glass toys on Vagina, starting with a butt plug, then adding a dildo. They then switch roles again, and Vagina is thrusting a glass dildo into Euphoria's vagina, while Euphoria thrusts her own bum with a glass plug. Not too long after this, the director calls cut and sends them on their way to get ready for their next scene.

The Unveiling of Rocki
True to the original, Rocki is submerged in liquid in a large tank when we first meet her. Brad and Janet seem very confused, but the Transylvanians and Frank n Bean's crew seem very excited. Rocki comes to life and is silent, and Frank n Beans starts another song. This one about making Rocki a porn star. As Frank n Beans starts trying to again persuade Janet to join the porn star fun, Brad cuts in and beckons for the phone again. Frank n Beans tells him that the phone lines are down due to the weather. Frank n Beans invites the couple to spend the night. Brad is reluctant, but Janet talks him into it. Vagina then takes them upstairs to show them their rooms.

"I said I was in the mood for a little sex, not sax"
A biker named Freddie arrives at Euphoria's window and starts playing his saxophone for her. She is displeased and worried Frank n Beans will hear him and come down to hurt him. She invites him up, and he climbs up to her window. He then makes out with her for a moment before starting to give her oral sex, before she does the same for him. Next you see him standing and penetrating her while she lies on the bed. The she is on top of him in the reverse cowgirl position, squatting instead of being on her knees. Euphoria genuinely appears to be enjoying herself and so does Freddy. She is mostly naked, but has managed to keep her bra on around her waist and her kitty ears. She then lays back down on the bed and lets him enter her anally. She rolls onto her side and he continues making love to her rectum. He lets her know when it's time and she rolls off of the bed and onto her knees. Freddy then comes into her mouth and all over her face. She then starts sucking dick again. They get dressed and Freddy tells her he would like to take her away from her life as a porn star. Apparently she loves porn more than him, and tells him so. Freddy then starts the next musical number. It is all about how much he loves being inside Euphoria and how much he dislikes Frank n Beans. Then enter Frank n Beans, who kills Freddie with a pick ax. Freddie continues singing and Frank n Beans joins in the singing until Freddie's dead. You don't see any blood, but Frank n Beans does hold up Freddie's chopped off head. Euphoria is angry and hurt, and takes solace in Vagina's arms.

Frank n Beans surprises Janet in bed
Janet is laying in her bed with a red/pink canopy wrapped around it. At first, Janet tells Frank no, and that her and Brad are soul mates. Ultimately, Frank n Beans talks her into doing the dirty with him by promising never to tell Brad. Frank gives Janet plenty of nipple play before going down on her while she lies on her back. Janet then returns the favor, you can watch her play with herself while doing down on him in this position. Frank then enters her while she lies on her back. Janet then mounts him and rides him in the cowgirl position. Frank then bends her over and enters her from behind, and ends the scene by cumming on her bum cheeks. Janet again seems quite clearly faking her enjoyment. After Frank n Beans leaves the room, Janet is in a panic about what she has just done with him.

To be continued in the Personal Comments section
    • Anal sex
    • Strap-on
    • Threesome scenes

Actors

Jessica Drake- Janet
The character of Janet is that of a whore trapped in a virginal body. He blonde hair and big eyes add to her role greatly. Janet is met wearing a light pink dress with white details. From beginner to end, Janet's underthings are white to symbolize her virginal nature.
I think Jessica Drake was a good choice for the role, but not an amazing one. Her soft features do give her a virginal glow, but her scenes seemed fake or forced.

Rocco Reed- Brad
The new groom Brad appears to be a stick in the mud sometimes, but his heart is in the right place. What man does want his new bride to be in a porno? Or having sex with random people for money? He plays the character very well and is quite believable as an over protective new groom. In this film, Rocco Reed dons thick black glasses and his attire matches his demeanor. When we meet him, he is wearing gray pants, a light blue button up, and a khaki colored jacket.

Mac Turner- Frank n Beans
This character is wild, charming, and very big headed. He wears more make up than any of the female cast members, but truly wears it well. His deep red lipstick and blackened eyebrows set an edge for him on his painted white face. His rouge cheek accents make him look human like and less clown like. Frank can be spotted around the set wearing wet looking black short shorts and a corset with laces in the front. The laces do not close around his chest. Frank has a muscular chest and arms.

Puma Swede- Rocki
Frank n Beans' creation. A woman designed to be the perfect porn star and that she easily achieves. She dons platinum blonde hair and has her make up perfectly painted on as she emerges from her tank. Rocki can be seen around the film wearing a shiny gold bustier, without cups, and a pair of matching gold daisy dukes. Her lines in this film are minimal, but her charm is irresistible.

Alektra Blue- Euphoria
This is one of the more interesting looking characters. She dons a auburn red bob hair do, and always keeps her clown fake up on. In her first scene with Vagina, she wears a rainbow sequined corset with black sequin mini shorts. In her later scenes, she keeps it more casual, wearing only her light blue bra and thing under a light blue plain over shirt. She also wears a pair of black kitty cat ears.

Brad Armstrong- Freddie
This fellow is actually the parody's director. He is a round fellow dressed in biker apparel. Leather jacket with light blue jeans and black leather cowboy boots. He is obviously wearing a wig, and looks like a much larger sized Elvis.

Nicki Hunter- Vagina
This character cannot be missed, for she is the only one with huge curly hair of an auburn color. Her curls are not perfectly round, but instead frizzy and messy looking. This adds to the gusto of the character greatly. Vagina is generally running around in her maid outfit, of course, the skirt of it is quite short. This is the only female in the film with her clitoris pierced.

Randy Spears- Stiff Staff
This is the butler and cameraman. He appearance would creep most people out, without a doubt. He has no hair on the top of his head, but has long blonde hair in the back. His skin is very pale looked and he has a hump on his back. This characters image is very close to that of Egor. He wears his butler suit consistently, even when having sex.

Kaylani Lei- Mona & Annie Cruz- Lisa
These two are inseparable and always wear matching outfits and hair styles. The two are both of Asian descent and they are the makeup artists for the cast. They make the sloppy pigtail look look good and don't mind showing off their slender waists. When unveiling Rocki, the girls are wearing slutty nurse costumes that consist of light green(scrub color) vinyl bras and mini skirts. When the girls seduce Brad, they wear school girl type outfits. The consist of red plaid bras and watching mini skirts.

Ron Jeremy- Dr. TP Scott
Another cameo by that guy who once was big in porn. Ron Jeremy graces our presence in a wheel chair in this film as an interviewer looking for a story on Frank n Beans new film. He gets his dick sucked in the orgy, but other than that is not very involved in the film.
    • Good acting / chemistry
    • Good presentation
    • Interesting costumes

DVD Features

The DVD case is actually quite discreet. While there are some scantily clad folks on the box, there is no penetration shown on the case. The actual DVD case comes inside a partial box. The cover and rear of this box are identical to the real case. The cover, however, does have one function the inner box does not. The front cover of the outer shell can be lifted to reveal the more dirty screen shots from the film. This portion does show penetration, genitals, and a double penetration image.

This DVD case contains 2 discs. The first is labeled feature film and contains the actual movie, scene selections, and the film's trailer. When you first put this DVD in, you will see Stiff Staff(the butler) welcoming you, and as you watch this menu, many of the characters will come out and beckon for you to pick an option. If you watch the menu all the way through, the butler will, after three minutes and eighteen seconds, make your selection for you.

The second disc is all the special features, and is labeled as such. Again, when you put this disc in, you will be greeted by Stiff Staff, this time with Vagina. They are again beckoning for you to make a selection.
The Making of Rocki Whore is 13 minutes of the characters messing up their lines and is narrated by Brad Armstrong. He shows you some of the props and background pieces they use to set the mood of the parody. This also have a few of the porn stars talking about the difficulties of making the film.
Interviews takes you to a menu where you can select an actor/character and learn more about them. When you choose a person, they speak to you rather than to an interviewer. They discuss doing the parody and why they were into the idea of doing it. Each interview is about two minutes long and when the interview is over, the DVD automatically returns to the interview selection page.
Wardrobe is the section where they show you all of the costumes from the film and how they make them look perfect on the intended character. Another perk from this section is seeing each character as they try on their costumes without their make up on. This section is nine minutes long and very entertaining.
Bonus sex scenes takes you to a menu of three scenes from other Wicked pictures. These scenes involve 1 or 2 of the actual cast members from their other films. Including: Kaylani Lei & Rocco Reed from The Perfect Getaway, Jessica Drake, Tori Black, & Manuel Ferrara from Speed, and finally Alektra Blue, Derrick Pierce, & Victoria White from Anarchy.
Trailers takes you to the DVD covers for 5 other Wicked films. These are: Speed, Anarchy, The Perfect Getaway, Private Lessons, and The Life of Riley.
Promo Reel is simply a reel of images of sexy Wicked girls dressed scantily. This portion is only a minute long.
Digital Copy is an option to put the disc into your computer and download a digital copy. You can then load the film onto a portable device and take this film with you where ever you go.
Auditions is exactly what you would expect the section to be. It is three and a half minutes of people who didn't make it to the film and a few who did. I kind of wish this section was just the cast who has made it into the film and that it was set up in the same manner the Interviews were.
Make up Magic is almost four minutes long and is all about how they made the people look as they did in the film. They also speak of how the make up added to turning the actors into their characters.
Table Read is just over four minutes of the actors running over their lines and adding new ones. The cast sits around a table and runs over their lines, with occasional commentary from Brad Armstrong.
Rocki Girls is an introduction to each of the girls in this film while they are taking dirty photos as their characters. The girls don't talk or do lines during this portion, they are simply having their photos taken while posing. This section is just over three minutes long.
Bloopers is almost nine minutes long and is very comical. This is just what you would think, the blooper reel. It has many people messing up their lines or giggling because of the line. Also, there is a lot of sexual humor here. Accidentally hurting their partners or themselves and then laughing about it. A personal favorite from this section is Brad Armstrong as Freddie trying to climb up to Euphoria and not being able to climb the building correctly.
Convention is a portion of the casts visit to the 32nd annual Rocky Horror convention in Los Angeles, California. The cast signed autographs, took names for extras in upcoming films, and got input from real Rocky fans. This section is just over 2 minutes and while it was a nice gesture by the cast, it wasn't very interesting.
    • Not very discreet packaging
    • Scene selection
    • Special features / bonus included

Personal comments

Brad has a threesome with Mona and Lisa
When you start viewing this scene, the two Asian woman are already on top of Brad, doing his make up. The paint him up to look like a clown with red and white face paint. Mona then mounts Brad's face, and starts receiving oral sex from him and at the same time, Lisa has started sucking his willy. Mona then dismounts from his face, and starts helping Lisa orally pleasure Brad. Mona then takes off her bra top and does the same to Lisa. They then tie Brad down to the bed while continuing oral sex. Lisa then mounts Brad's member while Mona helps her by bouncing Lisa's bum for her. Mona also occasionally pull Brad out of Lisa to suck him and lick Lisa. They switch positions and now Mona is on top of Lisa, with her vagina in Lisa's face, and Brad enters her from behind. They switch it up again to Mona on her back with Brad inside her anus while a helpful Lisa fingers Mona's vagina. Both girls keep their mini skirts on throughout the whole scene. Brad pulls out to cum on both of the girl's mouths. All involved seem to be genuinely enjoying themselves greatly. Right about here is where Frank n Beans comes in. Frank n Beans promises not to tell Janet about his indiscretion, and then tries to bang Brad. Luckily for Brad, it is dinner time and the interviewer has arrived to see Frank n Beans.

A Quick Dinner Party followed by the Help's Sexual Romp
The gang is all sitting around a dinner table with elegant China sitting out in front of them. Frank has discovered that Brad and Dr. TP Scott have met in the past. Frank then decides that they are a part of a right wing scheme to shut him and the entire porn industry down and leaves the table. Slowly but surely, everyone else abandons the table as well. Leaving only the maid, Vagina, and the butler, Stiff Staff. It doesn't take long for Stiff Staff to start going down on Vagina on the table. Vagina then returns the favor. She then hops on top of him for some squatting reverse cowgirl. He then bends her over and puts his penis in her bum. Vagina seems to be genuinely enjoying this. He lays her down and enters her vagina again. He finishes on her face and in her mouth. Frank ofcourse walks in on them and is mad he wasn't the one having sex. He chases Stiff Staff off with a black leather whip.

Janet found a strap on
This scene opens with Janet doing her make up at a make up desk with mirror. Euphoria and Vagina enter and start to mess with her head about doing her first scene and being virginal. They wish her luck and tell her she will be fine and leave her alone. The next you see of Janet, she is standing beside Rocki with Rocki's breasts exposed. Janet and Rocki talk for a moment about Rocki not knowing if people like her for her anymore. Janet tell's her that she likes her and then starts fondling Rocki's breasts. Then Janet starts singing her number, a song about Rocki being her first woman and her admiration for the porn star and her body. This leads Janet to start performing oral sex and fingering action on Rocki. Both girls seem to be genuinely enjoying themselves. Rocki then starts fondling Janet's breasts before going down to lick her vagina and bum. Rocki fingers Janet from behind, and Janet has an orgasm worth believing. Janet goes down on Rocki again, but this time plays with her by putting a string of beads into her vagina and pulling them out. The girls then start to briefly make out while licking and sucking on the beads. Rocki then does the same thing with a different string of beads to Janet. Frank then pulls out a red strap on and tells the girls it is strap on time. This is when Brad suddenly appears and is not too happy. Frank threatens to tell about Brad's threesome, but still Brad is hesitant. It isn't until Frank tells Brad how much Janet would make from this scene that Brad gives in and even chooses the position for the girls. Janet wears the strap on and enters Rocki in the doggy style position. Janet grabs Rocki's hair and Rocki holds up Janet's leg for support. Janet fingers and plays with her own vagina on occasion while still penetrating Rocki. Rocki then gets on her knees and starts sucking on the dildo in the harness, before being entered from the front by Janet. Frank cuts the scene and compliments the girls. The girls walk off holding hands, while the rest of Frank's gang look a bit sad. They feel forgotten by Frank.

"The Big Climatic Ending" and an Orgy
As Frank sits on his throne, Stiff Staff enters with a gun. He tells Frank that he has been mistreating his cast and they've had it! Apparently, the movie they are filming was Stiff Staff's script, and he thinks Frank is ruining it. Stiff Staff decides he is going to direct the finale and Frank reluctantly agrees. Stiff Staff leads the porn stars and Transylvanians in a song, "Let's have an orgy again". During the song, Brad and Janet appear almost frightened by the idea. What follows the song is an actual orgy, and is a bit hard to describe, especially since many of the Transylvanians don't have names. Instead, I will list the acts performed in this scene. There is 69 action and titty sex action in the same screen. Brad and Janet decide they aren't so scared after all and join in on the fun. Rocki giving Frank some head while Dr. TP Scott is getting the same from a random dark haired female. Mona and Lisa are going down on Stiff Staff while various women previously unseen are getting some head too. Rocki goes down on a random girl who is giving head to Frank. In this scene there is a lot of oral action going on and toward the end, the men start ejaculating. Mostly on faces, but also on breasts and stomachs.

After everyone has passed out, Janet and Brad are very much still awake and try to make their escape with their clothes in hand. As they walk out of the building, Janet feels fulfilled and like she has accomplished something. She has explored her sexuality and is ready to be a slut for Brad and Brad alone. As they prepare to walk off, Frank runs out after them, asking them to sign releases so their faces can be in the film. Brad and Janet decline and decide they want their escapades kept secret. Janet thanks Frank sincerely for opening her eyes to her sexuality. The couple sees Freddie's motorcycle alongside his head and decide he won't be needing the bike. They then ride off on the bike while Frank sadly watches them leave. This is when the couple from the agency who was supposed to have arrived the night before, finally arrive. Frank gladly welcomes them in.

Experience

As a teen, I was a big fan of the Rocky Horror Picture Show. So of course when I noticed Eden had a pornographic parody, I had to watch it. Initially, I watched it with a fellow for a chuckle. I quickly found that this was a great film. Most of the porn I have received from Eden were one time watch for me. The Rocki Whore Picture Show has changed that, I have already watched it from beginning to end three times. I even enjoyed watching the Special Features. It was very interesting to learn about the actors playing these roles. It was weird to have "met" them in character with their make up on, and then to see them again as normal people.

All in all, there are not many types of people I would recommend this film to. If you are a hardcore sex lover, it has something for you. If you are a hopeless romantic, you can vibe off Brad and Janet's relationship. It is, in my opinion, a downright awesome flick.
This product was provided at a discounted price in exchange for an unbiased review. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.

EdenFantasys Review Program

  • Get Free Toys
  • Enjoy Special Deals
Become a Reviewer
Comments
Subscribe to comments
  • Contributor: ConnerJay
    Oh dang you are really selling this to me. I want it now! Thanks for the awesome detailed review!
  • Contributor: gwenevieve
    I would love to see this, simply because I love Rocky Horror and I think it would make a perfect porn.
  • Contributor: PeachCandy
    Thanks so much for the amazing review! We love porn so I'm definitely gonna check this one out
  • Contributor: Southernbelle83
    Great and informative review. I think my fiance and I will enjoy watching this.
  • Contributor: Badass
    Thank you all for reading.
    @Dana- I have a hard time with DVD reviews, but I have found that the more information, the better.
  • Contributor: calmyotittays
    thanks
  • Contributor: unfulfilled
    Great review, thank you for sharing!
  • Contributor: nsavetheworld
    I am a fan of the original Rocky Horror and knowing this parody exist I must have it but there is 2 things that really sell it for me and that is Mona and Lisa. I have a thing for Asian women.
Forum
No discussions yet.
Thank you for viewing The Rocki Whore Picture Show: A Hardcore Parody review page!