Erotic Moods The Collection: Volumes 1-3 by Neurodisc - review by Betty Rocket

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Thanks, But I'll Keep Van Halen's Greatest Hits....

This may be your bag. If you desire tunes that mimic Enigma without any real direction or purpose, or if you are a fan of relaxation music, you may enjoy this. For me, it was too funny to fuck to.
Published:
Pros:
Three discs in one? Not too bad for relaxation.
Cons:
It sucks, really.
Rating by reviewer:
1
useful review
There have been many times where I have been stuck in fuck mode with no proper soundtrack to accompany my actions. Eden has a pretty nice collection of erotic moods albums, so I chose the compilation set. Three discs of sounds, there was sure to be one or two winners.

Well, I popped the disc in and here is what I can tell you.

I had quite the layout: massage candle, fur mitt, me in the buff waiting for service from my beloved. Once the chosen soundtrack began, the mood went from sensual to silly.

The tunes were a mixture of Skinimax soft core porn muzak, generic Enigma, and drums that vaguely resembled Peter Gabriel. Low, moaning sounds that drone into monotony and dryness. We giggled together at the monk chanting and obligatory "woman breathing" heard throughout the album. We skimmed through the disc, finding one cliche song after another, looking for anything to use. Disc one was a bust, disc two was just as bad, and disc three was more of the same. It was the same rhythms and sounds, set in different keys and with different effects mixed in. In the end, we disregarded the soundtrack and went on with our playtime.

Maybe it's me, maybe I'm just not the erotic music type. (If you can find tunes that truly fit the erotic music genre) Some folks swear by Nine Inch Nails for their playtime, while others may do the horizontal shuffle to Christopher Cross exclusively. I prefer music to fit the scene. BDSM calls for something gothic and driving, where sensual play begs for tantric chants or soft classics. This set of songs is just not anywhere in my list of well made music. It is as if the record company found a bunch of commissioned tunes and nothing to do with them. So they put them all on an album, called it erotic, and now sells it to us at a discount.

I have heard music like what is on this album before. Typically in a salon or spa, while I'm getting something waxed. And sometimes at the department store on an endcap where you can press a little picture button and hear a sample.

In summary, I can't say there isn't anyone who won't like it, but it certainly was not my cup of chai.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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Comments
  • Victoria
    Victoria  
    New age vanilla sexy sounds don't get you hot, huh? Sorry to hear that this one didn't cut it.
  • Snappy
    Snappy  
    Thanks for the review. I was laughing throughout.
  • Oggins
    Oggins  
    "it was too funny to fuck to."

    Hahahahaha! Thank you for the humorous review! I think I'll pass on this one.... Big smile
  • Epiphora
    Epiphora  
    Oh no! That sounds horrible. Literally.
  • Viktor Vysheslav Malkin
    Viktor Vysheslav Malkin  
    Nice review! Big smile
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