The Ethical Slut - guides to a better sex by Greenery Press - review by Lollie

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The Ethical Slut

Book by Greenery Press

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The Ethical Slut review

I don't love this book, especially as a stand alone volume. I think that with deeper discussion of sexuality, especially across cultures and throughout time, this book can be a valuable resource. The reader must be committed to an open minded reading and analysis to really benefit from this book.
Published:
Pros:
Realistic discussion of psychological struggles that many have with "out of the box" sexuality.
Cons:
Could be more creative in language usage. Some readers may have a hard time accepting the content.
Rating by reviewer:
3
useful review
I was given a copy of The Ethical Slut|The Ethical Slut when I was 17 by a lover who was trying to convince me to engage in group sex. Because I didn’t really want to be convinced, the book left a bad taste in my mouth at the time. I think that many Americans in traditional, monogamous relationships would have a similar reaction. Now, years later I feel that I have a better perspective on the opinions this book has to offer.

The Ethical Slut explores multiple partner relationships, one night stands, commitment, and many of the psychological, emotional, and physical (read, health) barriers to these various circumstances. I appreciate that this book talks seriously about “open relationships” in realistic terms, offering thoughts and experiences of how we are affected emotionally by different types of sexual relationships.

One of the things I dislike about this book is the authors’ cavalier use of language. I don’t mean this in any sort of Puritan sense, but rather a grammatical sense with respect to the importance of how language is used. The word slut is used over and over and over until I feel if I read it again I’ll explode. The authors argue that “slut” should be reclaimed as a term of approval and endearment; that if men can be studs then women who are sluts should be approved of accordingly. I disagree. I think that our society wrongly labels sexually liberated women as naughty and that that train of thought should be reconsidered. Simply taking a derogatory word and acting like it means something different doesn’t accomplish that goal. I think it’s actually damaging to the cause of sexual liberation by giving superficial critics something to sneer at. Many people will like the title because it’s eye-catching and shocking, but I don’t think it serves the right purpose.

I appreciate the fact though that the authors of The Ethical Slut attempt to redefine how the reader thinks of “normal” sexual behavior. They also discuss jealousy, perceived ownership of individuals, love, crushes, and competition.

I do not think that The Ethical Slut is by any means the last book you’ll ever need to help you think about your sex life. I think having a little background in sex throughout history and in other cultures has helped me immensely since I’ve re-read this book. That said, this is a good resource for individuals or couples thinking about the boundaries of their relationship(s) and exploring their own sexuality.
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Comments
  • Dame Demi
    Dame Demi  
    Great review!  This was the first book I picked up when my husband and I decided to explore non-monogamy, and I agree it's a great introduction to the concept, though more in-depth reading will likely eventually be desired.
  • Lollie
    Demi, thanks for the comment.  I agree with your review that one of the things that is nice about this book is that it presents arguments for non-monogamy in a way that allows the reader to make informed decisions based on good information.  I think it would be great if there were an equivalent book that discussed monogamy so that people had a good resource to help examine the issue from both sides.  Unfortunately, I feel like most of the resources out there the promote monogamy are biased and preachy and ultimately not very helpful.
  • Nashville
    Nashville  
    This was a great review. However, group sex at 17? You should have elaborated!
  • Lollie
    Lollie  
    Ha! There was nothing to elaborate on! I broke up with the guy, in part because he wanted me to have sex with his friends which totally skeeved me out. Thanks for the inquiry though ;-D
  • Airen Wolf
    Airen Wolf  
    Heh like most things my husband and I went about this all backwards...we decided to open our marriage and I fell in love with another man before we even knew what the word polyamory was or that the concept existed.
    I have been told I should read this book though so I guess it's time too LOL!
  • her.royal.redness
    her.royal.redness  
    Thanks for the review!
  • Josmoseph
    Josmoseph  
    Thanks for the review on the book. Everyone has their own opinions on open marriage. Mine is not very open. But that does not change the fact you did a great review on the product you were given to review. thanks
  • bodymodboy
    bodymodboy  
    Great review, like you I initially brushed the book off as some sort of bad taste book about how to get it on. Boy, was I wrong!

    And, group sex at 17, I am familiar with this intimately (sometimes regretfully) *rolls eyes*
  • Lady Neshamah
    Lady Neshamah  
    thanks for the review
  • digit88
    digit88  
    ty
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