The New Bottoming Book: My Guide for Discovery Through BDSM

An excellent plethora of knowledge between the pages, informative and queer friendly. Make your way through the pages and discover aspects of BDSM that will catch your eye, whether you're just beginning or an experienced guru yourself. Janet and Dossie are lighthearted, entertaining and best of all, professionals that educate in the most non judgmental fashion while introducing play concepts and fantasies that are wilder than your imagination!
Published:
Pros:
Great design, Informative, Humorous, Light hearted, Written by professionals, Educational
Cons:
None
Rating by reviewer:
5
extremely useful review

About author

This book, and its sister, the New Topping Book, were both written by play partners Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy. Dossie is a psychotherapist who is well versed on all kinds of kink, and Janet is a well known author of other popular self-help and sexuality books such as The Ethical Slut. Both are mothers and have been participating in the BDSM scene for decades. The authors are quirky and humorous in their way of bringing forth both very serious aspects to BDSM relationships and the fun that can be found within.

Both's sexual education backgrounds make them perfect candidates to write books that will help bottoms and tops everywhere through tips on communication, safe words, safety in a BDSM environment and conveying how a scene should be played out between two consenting individuals. Janet and Dossie have individually each experienced what it is like to top and to bottom and the emotions that are associated with each role.

The two have been play partners and have participated in BDSM scenes together and throughout the book, use their communication and feelings through the scenes to paint a picture of safe BDSM play for readers.
    • Engaging
    • Expert author
    • Multiple contributoring authors

Content / Style / Audience

Before you shout, "I'm not a beginner!" Give this book a shot. It isn't a How To guide for the world of BDSM, nor is it a bible to tell you exactly how to go about scenes and play - everyone can benefit from parts of this book, however small the parts may be. The authors speak about bottom empowerment and how to express yourself as a submissive heathily, but still remaining in power of your emotions and what involvement you have in a scene. Bottoming is about empowerment just as topping is, as Dossie and Janet will let you know, all the while providing tips on how to stay safe and play safe with new partners or new experiences.

This book is definitely geared toward an audience that may or may not be familiar with BDSM, and if you are new, prepare to read a book that will speak to you on many levels. It's a great outlook on enlightening yourself through play, whether you're a top or bottom, and self discovery through your role. For advanced BDSM players and lifestylers, this book isn't useless, but quite possibly a gate to having an even better understanding of yourself, wants, and how to convey them better to a future play partner or one you may already have. The authors present fantasies, realities, and emotions felt in a nonjudgmental fashion, all the while covering a wide range of topics that often go overlooked. What made me reach out finally for a purchase was that this book is very much queer friendly and gender benders can most certainly relate.

The chapters cover a wide range of topics, including connection to a play partner, rewards from intense scenes, seperating fantasy from reality, body modifications, submission, bondage, choosing a great top, and power play. While the book may seem drawn out and wordy at some points, I find the authors cover every inch of questionable critera as far as BDSM goes.

The style is laid back and friendly; unthreatening and less intimidating than many other sex manuals and how to's I've read before. You feel as if the authors are embarking on a journey of self realization with you, not simply hammering rules and regulations into your head repeatedly through each paragraph. Both Dossie and Janet convey humor and sometimes, their own embarassment in stories about their own scenes and how they felt within them. The overall tone is simply that thoughts and ideas are fun ways to carry yourself through the world that is BDSM and there are many ways to convey the fantasies you have - with subtle stress on safety, communication, and freedom through a scene.

I'd recommend this book to anyone even slightly curious about BDSM. It truly makes the experiences involved and described seem less intimidating to someone who is just approaching the subject, and for those who are fully involved, may have some extremely helpful reminders and tips for play.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Queer
    • Self discovery
    • Self help
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Bedroom
    • Bus
    • Train
  • General
    [ ? ]
    Other tags that are useful and descriptive for this product.
    • Bdsm
    • Humorous
    • Queer

Design

A glossy cover that is soft and bendable is comfortable to read and carry around. This book has no less than 173 pages and is lightweight and flexible enough to shove into a bag or purse when you're on the go.

The book's design is clever and simple. It's orange with "The New Bottoming" written in black text, in which the "O" has a cartoon of a man tied up with his arms above his head. Book is written vertically to cross bottoming and the very word bottoming serves as the second "O" in book.

What is absolutely clever and fantastic about it's sister book, "The New Topping Book," is that while the word bottoming substitutes for the second "O" in book, the similar cover for "The New Topping Book," has the first "O" in book substituted with the word Topping. Get it? :)

A great and clever concept, though the book covers, as simple as they are, may not be the most discreet with the picture included. When reading on a train, someone may have to squint to see it but it wouldn't take a lot of time to figure out that the book is most likely something kink related.
    • Not very discreet cover
    • Soft cover
    • Well made

Personal comments

What I've found from this book is not gurus that find it necessary to preach, but the healthy ways to explore feelings and how to convey your wants and needs in ways that even advanced players may not have thought of. I've highlighted excerpts from the book that I found to be most impressive, for example:

"Pretending to play without limits, in our experience, tends to produce less intense scenes, as without a clear understanding of the bottom's limits tops most often wind up doing much less than the bottom can enjoy, just to be on the safe side."

This was extremely relevant to something my partner and I both needed to hear at the time of reading it together. We found that communicating our limits was something we'd thought of before, but hadn't actually ever sat down and had a chance to do it. We didn't precisely know how to do that sort of thing. We've never considered ourselves inexperienced, though you don't really have to be to find tidbits of information in this book to remain well educated on BDSM. It is what you make of it, true enough, but this book can gently guide you into a path that involves no harm, hurt feelings, or misunderstandings with play partners or in scenes.

I feel that this book, though it included a lot I considered to be repeats of common sense, helped me better myself as a bottom and my communication to my Top.
    • Helpful
Follow-up commentary
I still refer to this book when I want to recall quirky things the author said or important tips about BDSM play that all couples should remain aware of. I think that though it appeals to new beginners moreso than experienced BDSM players, that it's a fantastic book for reference and I still use it as such.
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Comments
  • llellsee
    llellsee  
    Fantastic review! Thanks
  • A.Mari
    A.Mari  
    great review, ty
  • corsetsaurus rex
    corsetsaurus rex  
    Great review! This seems worth a look for the help with communication alone. =)
  • Kaleb
    Kaleb  
    Great review!
  • SecretKinksters
    SecretKinksters  
    Excellent review! Thank you!!
  • Aydios
    Aydios  
    thanks
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