This film was so uninspiring that I can't think of a clever title

Intimate Things is the kind of porn I imagine teenage boys watching. It is formulaic and there are many large breasts and fancy negligee. Though the whole cast are professionals and proficient at what they do, it wasn't enough to turn my crank really. There are some things to love about it: some beautiful asses, lovely women dancing and moments of good chemistry. Overall, though, you're not going to get anything in this film that you wouldn't get somewhere else.
Published:
Pros
Some pretty butts with some pretty thongs on 'em
Cons
Chemistry and hot moments are spotty and far between, overall kind of dull
Rating by reviewer:
3
extremely useful review


Overview

This film is a mixture of soft and hard core. Each scene begins with a woman dancing sexily while putting on and taking off various lingerie ensembles. Every woman has at least two different outfits that she models before the sex begins. From what I gather, the concept is that the women are all dancing for their men. After a while the men step forward to kiss and caress their women, then they retire to a couch, bed, or the foyer to do oral sex and PIV. There are five sex scenes that are all organized in this way. The exception being one threeway scene in which both the ladies are alone at the beginning, modelling lingerie for each other.

The sex itself is also formulaic. Caresses and kissing begin the scene, followed by an exchange of oral, PIV in various positions, topped off with the man pulling out and coming somewhere on the woman's body. What sets some scenes apart are the magnetism of the performers.

This film is meant for couples. Presumably all that sexy lingerie modelling is for the womens' benefit. If nothing else, this film shows how lingerie can change the mood and allure of a woman. Some may find it inspiring. I also say it's a couples film, because the performers tend to kiss and look into each other's eyes intimately, more so than what you'd find in other porn films.

Sex Scene 1 – Grace Glam & Chris Johnson

The very opening of the first scene was promising. I enjoyed watching Grace Glam do a sultry dance while almost silhouetted in front of a curtained window. Her ass is really quite lovely. Slowly it's revealed that there is a man standing and watching her too. He hands her a sky blue bra and panty set. With these she does a slow reverse strip tease. My interest was still held. Lingerie is an interesting genre of garment, after all.

The scene then cuts to the couple out in the foyer, screwing each other while standing in various positions. It was at this point where the film became typical porn fare. Nothing new, but it's fun to see the skin and the thumping.

Sex Scene 2 – Kagney Linn Karter , Monique Alexander, & Marco Banderas

The three-way scene begins with Kagney and Monique lounging in what looks like a high class changing room. I noticed how the women put on their lingerie a little differently when it was for each other as opposed to for a male partner. Maybe this is because the ladies weren't all that into each other? It's hard to say.

I have a little crush on Monique Alexander. Seeing her on the cover was the clincher for me getting this film. There's something about her look that says feisty and fun to me. She has a large and gorgeous peony tattoo rambling up the side of her ribcage, and lovely dark hair in this film. I enjoyed watching her dress and undress in lingerie and enjoy getting fucked by Marco Banderas. My favourite moment in this scene was when Monique was on her back, getting fucked hard while the other two take turns sucking on her toes and nipples. That hot minute was a diamond in the rough, and the rest of the scene was nothing to write home about.

Sex Scene 3 – Mariah Milano & Michael Vegas

This scene begins with Mariah Milano walking up a spiral staircase while putting on negligee three separate times. Her outfits vary from nice to naughty. Finally her and her man kiss and meander into the next room where they start making out on the couch. It gets hot and heavy with him sucking her tits while fingering her clit and vag. The position is hot because he is fully holding and pleasuring her. That only lasts for a minute, though, and all of a sudden he is naked, standing, getting a blow job. They continue on to PIV in various positions. It gets hot again well into the scene when he's pounding her really hard and she likes it. The last quarter of this sex scene is hot and feels genuine.
Experience
Sex Scene 4 – Julia Ann & Mark Wood

Julia Ann sits on the bench of a black grand piano and puts on some sexy negligee. After trying on several outfits, a faceless man appears for a blow job. They retire to the bedroom, where he eats her out. They go at it PIV-style from many different angles and seem to be into it or at least into the performance of it all.

Sex Scene 5 – Shyla Stylez & Anthony Rosano

This scene's fashion show happens in a hallway in front of a very nice wrought iron bannister. Several outfits later, Anthony Rosano enters the scene and eats her pussy. Watching Anthony Rosano eat pussy is quite fun, because he really goes in for it rather than just flicking his tongue around. Then she sucks him off. They move to the couch where there is some more blow job and tit fucking action. Then the PIV begins. In this scene they take very short oral breaks throughout the performance, which can be quite fun. The sex does seem genuinely spontaneous at times.

DVD Features & Extras

Behind the Scenes
Photo Gallery
Cum Shot Recap
Full Motion Chapter Menu
Auto-Restart
Follow-up commentary
Yea, this flick still does not turn me on. Though I can relax into a few of the scenes overall, I'm reaching for the fast forward more often than not.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.

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Comments
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  • Contributor: Scott Ghost
    nice review!
  • Contributor: sexyintexas
    lol great review, I feel the same. It was too much of the same thing
  • Contributor: M121212
    Glad you got a laugh out of it anyhow Cheers.
  • Contributor: Antipova
    And now I've learned the plural of negligee. Thanks!
  • Contributor: KnK
    Wow. That porn sounds beyond dull. Thanks for taking one for the team
  • Contributor: M121212
    Heh. Yea it's a hard job but somebody's gotta do it!
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