The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women - book discontinued by Cleis Press Inc. - review by Crystal_Rose

...Granted, there was very little mentioned in the book that I didn't already know; but, since I've been a fan of anal play for a couple of years now, I've spent a lot of time researching the topic online while on my own personal journey of self-exploration and had already read most of the info presented in this book. But if I had happened to read this book back when I was still very innocent regarding the topic, my ass still couldn't have been in better hands!

At first I was a bit thrown when I realized the author doesn't really have any credentials other than her own personal experience and – granted – the extensive research she has done. Now, I'm even further surprised – although pleasantly so – that since I've finished reading the book, I know that I will be recommending it for many years to come, if for one reason, and one reason only;

It's wonderful accessibility for not only anal sex play virgins, but those who may not have had quite as great a first-time experience as they should have.

This is the book for anyone who is considering having anal sex, new to having it, or has had a bad or traumatic experience, whether in giving it or receiving it. Even if you are already actively involved in anal play, if there is a question mark in your mind that you are not as well informed about the subject as you should be, then by all means, don't hesitate even for a moment about whether or not you should buy this book.

Regardless of gender or experience level, this book is a much needed addition to anyone's basis of knowledge regarding anal sex. Heck, even as much as I know about it, if I was in a situation with a partner who had never tried anal play or anal sex before, I wouldn't just settle for instructing them, myself; I would, in all complete honesty, hand them a copy of this book so they could read the information for themselves.

Then I would dare them to demonstrate on me what they'd learned!

The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women covers background, preparation, male and female anatomy, history, myths versus the facts, purging the stagnant mind-set of previous generations and the reasons behind why the desire to have and enjoy anal play are completely natural if you are so inclined. The book discusses the absolute NECESSITY of a partner that is caring, responsible, and well-informed as well as the requirement of honest and open communication between lovers delving into this world.

Anal toys, positions for anal play and anal intercourse, masturbation (something I was actually quite thrilled to see in this book, as I am a firm believer that when considering this particular journey into uncharted territory, self-love is absolutely the best way to start), extensive info on anal health, cleanliness, diseases, and STDS... Fisting and even S/M and gender play are also brought up to make sure that the author is leaving very little on the topic unmentioned. The illustrations are detailed, tasteful, and well done. The lack of “bird's eye” photography might make some readers feel slighted, but if someone is interested in that, then I suggest you look into the DVD release of “Expert Guide to Anal Sex” which was also put together by Tristan Taormino, the author of this book. I've both seen and written a review on this instructional video; although I wasn't as impressed by it as I am this book, it does serve as a possible companion to this guide if someone is looking for a more visual representation of some of the things discussed in this book. But I would not recommend the video in favor of the book. The book is by far the better buy of the two.

Even though the book at times does become a little bit repetitive – and I've listed that as the one little flaw I found under the “Cons” at the top of this page – I will admit that I don't begrudge the author one particular comment she felt the need to repeat many times throughout the book… Anal sex is NOT supposed to hurt.

Too many women get turned off by anal sex because of a bad experience. Many women make the mistake of just jumping right into it. They go from not having ever tried it, to experiencing anal sex for the very first time with little to no warm-up, preparation, gentle stretching, lubricant, or patience from their partners. If that is the way you approach anal sex, then it will hurt and the experience will be a bad one. Guaranteed.

Usually this is the result of just unintentional ignorance. But every once in a while, you will run into situations where someone would be better off finding themselves another partner, as some people's ignorance isn't quite so blind. I've known women who have had to deal with boyfriends or spouses who enjoyed having anal sex, but would never try to make it enjoyable for their partner. Reading this book reminded me of them; as I wrap up this review, I feel prompted to state a very valid point.

Anal sex is just like regular sex in one regard. It doesn't matter what you are doing (anal beads, probes, plugs, dildos, or actual anal intercourse) or what your particular needs are (vanilla or BDSM); if your partner is not considerate of what is most pleasurable for you, then it will be bad. So, either your partner needs to learn or you need to get yourself another partner.

To recap, The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women is an impressive collection of detailed information coupled with an intelligent, thought-out delivery. Although nothing earth-shatteringly new to anyone already experienced with anal play, it still has the best selection of facts that I've seen in one location, which makes it a must purchase for anyone still trying to figure out their own desires or expand upon what they already know about themselves and their bodies. It provides an excellent foundation of knowledge that anyone can apply to their sex lives and I will continue to recommend it for years to come to anyone who enjoys – or wants to enjoy – anal play.