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Aren't These Supposed To Be Crotchless?

If you're looking for really cool crotchless panties that glow in the dark, save yourself the $11.99 and instead, spend that money on glow in the dark fabric paint and make your own. However if you're looking for a small square of glow in the dark lace to add to a project of sorts and have $12 to blow on it, then these are for you!
Published:
Pros:
They do glow.
Cons:
Poorly made, uncomfortable, scratchy, dry clean only.
Rating by reviewer:
1
extremely useful review
So, glow in the dark crotchless panties sound really cool right? Well, they definitely can be, if maybe you just buy glow in the dark fabric paint and make your own, because then at least you know they will not only fit, but you can make your own cool designs.

I don't know who exactly designed these particular ones, but they need to be punished for it by being forced to wear these for a while. They're scratchy, itchy, too tight and too loose at the same time, and all other sorts of wrong.

I'll start with the box. It measures 6" x 5" x 2" deep and is plastered with the fact that inside are "super sexy glow in the dark crotchless panties so sexy... they glow." According to the back, "here are the sexiest panties you've ever worn! Surprise your lover by turning off the lights and turning him on... These glow-in-the-dark crotchless panties are sure to bring him to full attention. Quality made. One size fits most." Not quite.

The box also wants to make sure you know that these are "for novelty purposes only," which I guess just means I can't complain that they sucked?

Once I opened the box I found my new panties folded in half inside a plastic bag. I removed them to find that apparently I am supposed to be shaped like a rectangle. When laid flat the dimensions are approximately 9" across by 9" from the top of the waist band to the bottom of the panty. You can stretch the top band all the way up to 15", but it's made from a cheap elastic band and while my waist is only 32" around I found it to be an uncomfortably tight fit.

There is too much fabric in the back, or maybe not enough. I think that if the solid fabric section were wider, this might allow it to cover the rear end more without leaving a few inches bunched up in the middle of your butt. Or they could just eliminate those few inches and have it sit like it's supposed to as shown on the model.

These are indeed crotchless as well. But whoever made them so obviously had no prior female interaction as these appear to have just had the middle section cut out of the bottom. They didn't line up at all when tried on initially, and no amount of squirming or readjusting seemed to help either.

There are washing instructions located on a scratchy tag on the back side of the underwear. It tells you that your crotchless panties are 100% polyester, dry clean only, and made in China. I don't know about you, but I love dropping off my crotchless panties at the dry cleaners, just to let them know what I get up to at home...

For storage, right now, I'm just keeping mine in the box until I decide exactly what I want to do with them. At some point I'll run them through my regular wash just to see what happens to them.

But for all the bad things these panties have going on, they do glow. And rather brightly at that.
Experience
So the very first time I tried these on, I went "no way in hell am I wearing these again" and tossed them back in the box. They actually kind of hurt me. This is the first anything from here I've run into where a waistband actually cut into me, and after only a few minutes I had a mark.

The butt bunched up on me real bad and there was no way I could make it look decent. I couldn't even turn the lights off to hide it because the damn things glow!

I think the most disappointing thing about these for me is the whole crotchless part. For me, they were closer to assless, because when my fiance finally managed to talk me into trying them on again for him, he said that my butt hole was lined up right in the middle and that if I hadn't told them they were supposed to be crotchless he would have assumed they were supposed to be assless. But we finally did manage to get them to line up somewhat right and started going at it, but took them off a few minutes in because they repositioned themselves and were now going in and out of me with my fiance. Not so pleasant.

The only thing I liked about these was that they glowed, but that doesn't do me much good when I won't wear them again. Although I have been tinkering with the idea of trying to modify them slightly to make them actually crotchless for me.

It's a shame that these didn't work out better, because for the money they're going for, they should be of much higher quality. I'm not looking for anything astounding, just, something better?

They get one star just because they do indeed glow very well. But everything else is unfortunately one big giant fail.
Follow-up commentary
Well, I was able to modify these very easily with just a pair of scissors to make them functional, and you'd never be able to tell!

However, they're still scratchy as hell, and just plain uncomfortable. I actually made him stop just a few minutes into it so I could take these back off.

At this point I feel bad just throwing them away because I've only used them a couple times but they really are just plain awful. I've got them stored in a Ziploc bag with all the rest of my lingerie for now until I completely decide what to do with them. I'll make sure to update when I do.

-----

I ran these through my regular wash, nothing special for delicates, went through with jeans and sweatshirts and everything else and they came out just fine (unfortunately?). They even still glow!
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Comments
  • Jul!a
    Jul!a  
    You know, I think I might still have them in a bag, lol. I know I haven't worn them since then, but I always feel bad throwing stuff out, lol
  • Crystal1
    Crystal1  
    Now I kind of want to make my own glow in the dark crotchless panties.
  • Jul!a
    Jul!a  
    Haha, I actually just found these the other day. I almost tried them on again, lol.
  • pixieluv
    pixieluv  
    "but I love dropping off my crotchless panties at the dry cleaners" This had me in stitches! I would dare someone to actually take a pair of these down to a dry cleaners and see what the charge would be to have them cleaned.
  • Jul!a
    Jul!a  
    Haha, that would be awesome. If anybody does that, let us know!
  • MamaDivine
    MamaDivine  
    thanks for the review!
  • Jul!a
    Jul!a  
    You're quite welcome.
  • Forever17
    Forever17  
    great review thank you.
  • Jul!a
    Jul!a  
    Welcome
  • Bignuf
    Bignuf  
    Ouch. Thanks for that brutally honest review.
  • Jul!a
    Jul!a  
    Lol, thanks
  • ViVix
    ViVix  
    Dry clean only undies? Bad idea. Great review!
  • Jul!a
    Jul!a  
    Haha, thank you!
  • amazon
    amazon  
    Thanks for the great review! Very funny!
  • deltalima
    deltalima  
    Thanks for sharing
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