Erotic dice by Lady Calston

My partner and I recently bought these dice mainly because they were cheap and looked like they would be good for a fun time and a few laughs. When they arrived, we were surprised to see the bare minimum packaging that they came in. The dice themselves were not in pristine condition, and we felt that it was not due to problems in shipping. The corners of the dice were rough and the words were haphazardly printed on. Overlooking the packaging and the condition of the dice, the most disappointing part was the lack of imagination in the instructions. What constituted as the instructions was tiny print on the back of the package stating simply, “In turn each person rolls the Erotic Dice acting the combined message which appears. It’s so easy and no one loses!!!” Yes, they used three exclamation points. It is easy and it is simple, but it lacked the creativity that we were hoping for.

We were expecting something a bit more exciting, as well as a game that might lead into sex at a predictable time. What we found was a turn by turn bout of light foreplay. Very light foreplay, like “touch toes” foreplay. The game dice themselves consist of a die with six action verbs, blow, lick, tease, massage, kiss, and touch, and a die with six places, toes, boobs, body, lips, nipples, and a side with a ”?” on it. From these actions and places, the combinations available are generally limited to play more than eroticism. Also, we found that the build up that some of the activities was killed when we rolled things that weren't sexy. As is stands, the game itself is not tremendously exciting.

To combat this inadequacy, we came up with a few games of our own. My favorite is a game that relies on the comedy of errors that can be these dice. I’ve been calling it “sexy snafu” and other such names. In sexy snafu, we play the game as instructed, but take note of any nonsensical rolls. For example, if my girlfriend is instructed to kiss my nonexistent boobs or if I’m supposed to touch her toes, the intended receiver instead gets a point. After a set number of points, usually something like 3 or 5, depending on how horny we want to be, the winner gets to choose which position to have sex in. The real enjoyment starts there, and we found ourselves hoping for a weird instruction, and trying our best to convince the other that the roll was worth a point. All in all, this was a decent product, worth the $3 pain for it. The dice are somewhat disappointing, but can be made more exciting with a little imagination. It’s something to consider for couples who want to have a good time, but don’t want to spend much money.

These dice work best when you throw out the rules and start over with your own. Would have been nice if they had done some of that beforehand.