Zen calm grey marble massager - vibrating head massager by Cal Exotics - review by itsurgrlfrnd

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"Marble" should be left on the counter tops... not made into a massager.

This is a pass for me. I would not recommend this item to anyone looking for a good time. I am very disappointed in the cheap manufacturing and the buzzy vibrations. I never like having a toy that sounds like I am using a power drill in the bedroom. The ergonomic design and overall uniqueness of the toy was enough to get me interested, but the loud vibrations just couldn't get me there.
Published:
Pros:
Ergonomic design, Lovely coloring, Different
Cons:
LOUD, Buzzy, Cheap
Rating by reviewer:
2
useful review
Let's start off with the product description. Here is what I had expected; a heavy, smooth, stone-like massager with a slight rumble that teases me. NOPE. I knew from the moment I got the package that it was not as expected. It is a cheaper feeling massager. It looks nice and shiny, but its quality is sub par. The massager nestles well in your hand. It has ergonomic curves to contour to your thumb and fingers. It is made of a smooth plastic that mimics the look and feel of marble, but doesn't replicate it. What I love about marble is that cold, stone feel you get from it. You do not receive that same feeling with this massager. The product itself is light weight. I think most of the weight comes from the 2 AAA batteries (not included) that you put in it to make the massager work. The device is turned on with a silicon button on the bottom, apex of the massager. The battery compartment is held closed with the average plastic clip system. I cannot see this device being water proof because of that.

The overall design of the massager is different. I could see an enthusiast who likes unusual vibes getting a kick out of this product. It has a unique shape and concept that I haven't seen before and it makes it very easy to disguise. I would pay no mind to someone who owned this item if i saw it in a bathroom. I would assume it was some sort of therapeutic stone. That may be the only upside to this pretty much useless item.
I call it useless because of the horrible vibrations that come from it. I noticed two different vibrating speeds... buzzy and buzzier. Yup. I said the terrible B word in vibe land, BUZZY. This product puts a bee to shame. The incredibly loud buzzing made it not only hard to hold onto for a length of time, but impossible to get off on. What is the point in a vibe you can't get off on?

But if you are buying it to relieve that achy area on your shoulders, I recommend looking elsewhere also. There is no worthy penetration of vibrations to loosen anything up. It's but a pretty toy to look at.
In the off chance that this buzzy toy is exactly what you are looking for, then here are some facts you will want to keep in mind. This item is made of safe plastic and can be used with any lube. Clean up is as easy as using a toy cleaner or a wipe. Be careful of the battery compartment. This toy is scent free, taste free (and pleasure free). I can see this toy being used on the clit, shaft, scrotum and perineum. It is a smaller item and can reach some harder areas that other vibes might not.
Experience
I wish I had a good experience to attach to this toy. But the moment I pressed the button, I was immediately turned off. I am a trooper though, and for the sake of the review I suffered through about 15 minutes of buzzy agony until my hand went numb and my clit was sore. As a new toy in my arsenal, I will say that this toy may not get much use, but it is a unique toy. You never know when a time will pop up and this would be the perfect item to have.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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My Zen calm grey marble massager tags
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Anyone
    • Sensory play
    • Teasing
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Bedroom / on a bed
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Travel friendly
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • All over body
This review was edited by
  • Mikemanz Mikemanz
  • Rank:
     
    5.5
  • Edited reviews: 268
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Comments
  • Mikemanz
    Mikemanz  
    good review. sorry it sucked
  • sweetiejo
    sweetiejo  
    Thank you for the review I wish this had been better it looked so nice.
  • travelnurse
    travelnurse  
    Thanks for the review! sorry it didn't work well but I do like the looks of it!
  • PropertyOfPotter
    PropertyOfPotter  
    Thanks for the review! What an odd toy!
  • SaiDiscordia
    SaiDiscordia  
    Thanks for the review. That is a bit of a disappointment. This is the kind of product one could leave out and nobody would really question it, but it is no good if it doesn't work well. Thanks for the heads up.
  • kdlt
    kdlt  
    Low vibration rating and high buzz? No thanks! Thank you for the great review though.
  • Rossie
    Rossie  
    Almost had me fooled, it sure looked like a real piece of marble. Thank you for the useful information.
  • amplified to rock
    amplified to rock  
    Thanks for reviewing! This looks really cool - sorry it was so disappointing.
  • Stinkytofu10
    Stinkytofu10  
    Thank you for the review.
  • Jessie<3
    Jessie<3  
    Good review!
  • annshores1
    annshores1  
    Thank you for the review
  • itsurgrlfrnd
    itsurgrlfrnd  
    Thanks everyone! Although it was a disapointment, it is still pretty interesting piece and like I said... One day, Maybe in the distant future, this toy may come in handy.
  • zoey51
    zoey51  
    good review
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