My Shoulders Melted

While this heated vibrating electric massager might not be the hottest, it will soothe your tired, aching muscles. This thing will definitely melt tension, if not all of it. The design leaves a lot to be desired, but that won't stop me from using it!
Published:
Pros:
Strong vibrations,
attachments removable for easy cleaning.
Cons:
Ineffective InfraRed,
bulky,
very loud, even on low.
Rating by reviewer:
4
extremely useful review
The InfraRed Electric Massager is a pretty standard wand-style electric massager, with a 6' cord and 110V plug. There is a "Flexo-Joint" connecting the head to the handle, which provides a little flex without rendering pressure ineffective.

Don't expect a huge variety of functions here. There are only two - low vibes with high heat, or high vibes with low heat. The low is actually strong enough to be effective, and is great for sensitive bits at three vrooms. High vibrations are seriously strong at four vrooms.

The wand itself is made of non-porous hard plastic. All the attachments are made of hard plastic, except the buffer, which is mostly plastic with a foam disc. The fingers on the wide nubbed attachment are a softer plastic.

Do not boil plastic. Attachments are removable and fully immersible in soapy water. Don't immerse the wand itself; it is not waterproof! Spot-clean with toy wipes or toy cleaner, or a damp rag!

ATTACHMENTS:

- The focus cone, aka "spot," is by far my favorite. It is the most secure attachment. This is great for any part of your body that is very, very stiff, and in need of some serious TLC. I use it on my neck and shoulders, and it is amazing. The manual describes "spot" as "deep massage on muscles to relieve stress" - not very specific, but true.

- The large bump attachment, aka "all-purpose," is great for more sensitive parts of the body. This one will be perfect for your sensitive forearms, wrists, and hands. The manual describes this one as "gentle massage for large muscle groups." I will add that I prefer the focus cone or dualer for large muscle groups like my thighs and back - the massage is more targeted, and more intense.

- The wide nubbed attachment, aka "scalp," at first glance, seemed perfect for a scalp massage. My favorite use for it, though, is definitely as a back-scratcher. The wand lets me access my entire back. I am wild about having my back scratched, and these nubs are not as pointy or mean as they appear. No good for torture, but strong enough to hold up to pressure. The guide describes this attachment as "soft fingers stimulates (sic) the scalp and massage for (sic) back of the neck."

- The dualer is a double cone phenomenal for the back, and other big, thick muscles, like thighs. Unfortunately, it tends to pop off during intense use. The guide describes this attachment as "shiatsu-type fingers for spot massage." That is very misleading, because there is no thumping action.

- The buffer is totally confusing. It's a foam disc that feels like Nerf bullets. When I read "buffer," I imagined it would be rough, like sandpaper, for buffing skin off of the bottoms of feet. It isn't rough, and when I touched this to the bottoms of my feet, no skin was buffed off.

The manual reads, "Lotion massager - apply cream or lotion for gentle facial massage."

I thought, "Of course! Lotion. Wait, what?" Lotion? Why would you apply something goopy with the only unwashable attachment? Every other attachment is a nice, slick, easy-to-wash plastic. The foam, I think, would just absorb lotion and bacteria, trapping them there for all eternity to torment you with acne problems. I still haven't found a use for this one.

PACKAGING:

The InfraRed Electric Massager comes in a plastic clamshell with a full-color insert. It clearly states what it is - not very discreet - but there are no naked people or references to sex on the packaging. The background image appears to be something from the cover of your high school physics book.

It comes with an instruction booklet. The front displays the logo for California Exotic Novelties and reads "body health - magnetic and infrared heat massager with 5 attachments. Type MS03, Model KM919H." The inside lists safety instructions - don't plug it in and throw it into water, supervise children (and invalids?! sheesh) during use, make sure it's off before unplugging it - just the basics.

The next page has operating instructions. (It's not rocket science.)

A page called "Get to know your body massager" re-names all the attachments to fully confuse you. You will find both names listed above. The back page shows confusing illustrations in an in-flight-manual style. An illustration of a person massaging their shoulder is labelled "Scalp Massager," for instance.
Experience
THE HEAT:

The infrared function, as almost every other reviewer describes, is totally a dud. On high-vibes/low-heat, the heat is undetectable. On low-vibes/high-heat, the heat is nothing more than a typical overheated-vibrator heat.

THE POWER:

Electric massagers are great, compared with battery. Sure, you're tethered to the wall, but where are you trying to go while rubbing your neck, anyway? The power is the true mark of an electric massager. In fact, this may be too much power for many of you to use as a sex toy. My clit could never handle this, so I just used it for body massage!

Less than four minutes with the focus cone jammed into my shoulder, and my stress melted so quickly I almost felt sick as all that built-up lactic acid flowed out of my muscles. Truly amazing. While the vibrations are not as strong as a Hitachi or Wahl, they should be strong enough for most users.

Stubborn muscles: beware!
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My InfraRed massager tags
  • Who / How / What
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    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Everyone
    • Massage
  • Features
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    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Heated
  • General
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    • Infrared
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Comments
  • gwenevieve
    gwenevieve  
    this seems lovely! i have horrible anxiety therefore i am always so tense and sore. this seems perfect
  • sunnyc
    sunnyc  
    I'm adding this one to my wishlist. Thanks for the great review.
  • Hallmar82
    Hallmar82  
    Thanks for the warning though
  • Aishiteru
    Aishiteru  
    Great review.
  • bog
    bog  
    Thank you, everyone!
  • Wicked Wahine
    Wicked Wahine  
    I am crazy for back scratches, too! Fortunately, I am very flexible & can access all of my back myself, and do, frequently! As for this item, I have a different brand that does similar things, but is a more "serious" massager/therapy device, thoroughly unsuitable for any sex applications. That's why I thought I'd look at this - I like the idea of warmth in my nethers. Oh well, the search goes on. I do tire of waiting for things to warm before use & would like something that warms itself & me. For now it's warm water or a heating pad which is kind of a pain. Thanks for the great review!
  • bog
    bog  
    Thank you, Wicked Wahine! In this 90+ degree weather, I far prefer the chill of glass. I can't wait for some warm winter backrubs with this beast!
  • FieryRed
    FieryRed  
    With my currently aching upper-back muscles, I read your review longingly, and am now going to add this to my cart after having been on the fence about it for a while now.

    @WW: Your nethers, eh? Would that be a Firefly/Serenity reference, perchance? ("Goin' on a year now, ain't had nothin' twixt my nethers weren't run on batteries!")
  • bog
    bog  
    Let me know if it's tough enough for you, FieryRed! It's not the strongest or most powerful massager, but if you have mild issues with muscles, I recommend this. It's been a great first back massager for me, but I'm definitely considering "levelling up" to a Wahl for stubborn-shoulder-days.
  • FieryRed
    FieryRed  
    I am loving this thing. It's my first too, though, and I do lack the patience to use it on myself for long. Once my partner returns from her business trip, though, it's on! (For both of us, that is.)
  • FieryRed
    FieryRed  
    @WW: If you're looking for something that heats up, try the Metal Worx vibe! (Discontinued, yes, but others in the line have come back...) Mine gets too hot to use after, oh, 10 minutes or so.
  • bratcat
    bratcat  
    great review! thanks, you have me lusting after this toy, since i have a terrible back with lots of tention.
  • bog
    bog  
    Thank you, Fiery and bratcat!
  • HannahPanda
    HannahPanda  
    I love that this can be used for joint/muscle pain as well! Good job
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