Tastie pasties - edible treats by Kingman - review by Illusional

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Tastie pasties

Edible treats by Kingman

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Not as tasty or very pasty at that

For 3.99 and some amusement and possible gag excitement in the bedroom, this product is worth it. As long as you buy it, knowing that it's not really meant to do as advertised. If you use it as a gag gift and enjoy the brief uses for like solo videos or pictures or teasing before intercourse and have a smaller cup size, they'll do fine.
Published:
Pros:
When they stick right, they look cute and fashionably risque.
Cons:
they have no taste, or smell... they don't come off all the way without some water and soap.
Rating by reviewer:
2
extremely useful review

Use

The best use for this product has to be humorous. I bought these for a slightly more erotic way of teasing my boyfriend with the pictures and videos I make for him on a consistent basis. However, the packaging was really retro and old-school with huge letters that made it seem a little less erotic than I had hoped, kind of silly... However, I'm not saying that they are completely useless; however, they didn't work well for my chest size. I have 40D's and unless I lay completely still, completely dry skin, no lotion or anything.. even then they still didn't work very well. I would advise them for a smaller cup size and lightly licking one side and applying them carefully. Think "overly sensitive band-aids". I had no allergy issues with any of them.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Bridal gift
    • Foreplay
    • Gag gift
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Bath / shower
    • Foreplay
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Oral

Texture / Consistency / Thickness / Viscosity

The texture felt only slightly similar to what I was expecting. I was expecting a sort of fruit-roll-up consistency but they were very papery and thin, with VERY little flavor unless you were tasting more than one. The heart ones tore easily across my nipples, while the circle ones crumpled and wouldn't even be a circle really anymore. Feeling wise, if you DO get one on successfully, it feels quite nice and doesn't bother you at all. When I finally wore them around my boyfriend, they didn't effect my sexual enjoyment or performance any. It didn't stay in place, once we were through with casual oral when we got a bit more movement going and grinding and such, they would begin to peel off some. My boyfriend said when it came into contact with his skin, they felt sticky on him.
    • Sticky
    • Thick

Taste / Aroma

Neither my boyfriend or I liked the taste of them. We had gotten them for the variety for fruit flavors, kind of both hoping for a fruit-roll up taste to it, but there was hardly any taste at all, and smell was null and void. I was quite disappointed and hoped for a stronger fruit taste and smell. It reminded me of licking a stamp, and maybe what paper would taste like.
    • Light taste
    • No smell

Performance

The product did not last well at all, maybe 15 minutes tops. I had to wash off certain ones they just weren't cleaning up right. I am a woman of color and it stained them a bit around the nipples. I loved the way they looked when they DID work, and the fact that the smell was not overwhelming. I didn't like how there was no smell at all and no taste for my partner to enjoy, when they advertise being tasty.
    • Dries up too fast
    • Gets sticky
    • Needs to be washed off with soap and water

Packaging

It was packaged in kind of a retro light color box with nice clear print, but it looked so 1980's, or perhaps like a gag gift not to be taken seriously. There were some on the back, I believe. Suitable for travel, as long as you don't have them out and open in public they should work well. The box shows what's in them, it has a clear panel showing the product.
    • Can be opened with one hand
    • Does not leak
    • Easy to use / dispense

Special Features

Nothing special to me at all. I didn't feel any new sensations, I did feel a bit sexy and risque when I came out, with the heart pasties over my nipples and wearing a heart thong with red lipstick, so the presentation was quite nice.

Experience

Our experience was pretty bland, unfortunately. They stuck momentarily and then tore, and had no taste or smell to tantalize my partner into my oral. They looked pretty for the few moments I stood there, modeling for him but after physical contact they tore.
Follow-up commentary
I had the rest of the box here.. and I decided to give them another go.. no lotions, took a lukewarm shower and waited until I was COMPLETELY dry and tried to lay them on... the star immediately crinkled. So, I applied some water on it.. a droplet of water.. and.. still.. nothing. Laying flat on my back, sitting up with my stomach sucked in.. standing up straight.. regardless of how I played or pulled with it.. they either tore.. or shriveled up and wrinkled before I could really get any photos out of it. SIGH.
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Comments
  • Samanti
    Samanti  
    Amazing review, thank you.
  • Alicia
    Alicia  
    Great review!
  • Illusional
    Illusional  
    Thank you ladies.
  • Sammi
    Sammi  
    Nice review!
  • deadpoet
    deadpoet  
    good review
  • Airen Wolf
    Airen Wolf  
    Sounds perfectly awful! What a waste. I was expecting them to be sort of jell like in consistency as well, that's what it looks like in the pictures on the site. Well since I am the same size as you I think I'll skip these.
    Thanks for the great review!
  • Illusional
    Illusional  
    You're welcome. And if you see anymore of these, maybe I'll give them a try.
  • Fruity
    Fruity  
    good job.
  • Lucidity
    Lucidity  
    Mmmm, sexy stamp lickin' time! Great review, I think I'll leave these off my "dream list".
  • al16
    al16  
    This is so clever, I love them!
  • ColorMeCute
    ColorMeCute  
    Thank you
  • ninja250
    ninja250  
    Great review thanks
  • damnbul12
    damnbul12  
    Thanks for the review.
  • LuciFaery
    LuciFaery  
    Thanks for the review!
  • sweetpea12
    sweetpea12  
    Thanks for the great review!
  • booboo111926
    booboo111926  
    thankss
  • tortilla
    tortilla  
    thx
  • reysgirl83
    reysgirl83  
    TY!
  • ff876
    ff876  
  • ff876
    ff876  
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