Hot + Sexy warming lubricant - water based lube by Doc Johnson - review by jedent

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As Lubricating As A Melted Blow Pop

If your lover ever comes to you and sings "I'm hot, sticky sweet, from my head to my feet" and they're referring to having coated themselves in this lube, get them a fire hose. Fast.
Published:
Pros:
None that we could find.
Cons:
Sticky, not very lubricating, painful, yucky, will burn the inside of your junk and make you cry.
Rating by reviewer:
1
extremely useful review

Use

Oh yes! Flavored lubricant and what variety! Holy crap I'm pretty sure it's burning off my pee-pee!

Originally intended as a fun, flavorful lubricant for couples who want a taste of the action--I guess--this Hot Sexy Warming Lubricant comes in five sticky flavors of candy-coated-penis fun. This would work best for anyone who has ever put a Blow Pop in the microwave and decided "Man, I'm going to rub this hot, searing goo all over my testicles!"

Allergy Information: Contains glycerin, mango, papaya, pineapple, citric acid, and burning.

Texture / Consistency / Thickness / Viscosity

I'm not a big fan of using lube normally, but when I do, it is usually smooth and slick, almost with a "liquid silk" sort of feeling to it.

Doc Johnson's Hot And Sexy Lube? More sticky and dry and you had better pray to whatever gods you have that it does NOT get into your urethra because this stuff will set your piss hatch aflame.

Warming lubricants have been on the market for quite some time. Some are a soothing, warming sensation, and others are a little spicier. Still, there are others that generally feel like scorching death pepper sauce from Guatemala. These lubes would be the death pepper sauce of all nasty, sticky lubricants combined.

Taste / Aroma

Om nom nom...hot watermelon. Just what I wanted Santa to put in my stocking this Christmas!

Okay, I'm going to just give an all across the board astounding "lubricant should not be eaten" warning, first off. My opinion is that lube has one purpose and one purpose only and it should be to lubricate, such as in the case of easing something into your butt or into the butt of a friend or loved one.

Then again, I could see how "yum, eat this stuff out of me!" is a pretty intriguing idea--in theory.

But then I tasted it.

Honestly, the taste isn't horribly bad. But then I remembered that I was eating lubricant that was about to be used for sex/masturbation/easing something into a butt. And it kind of weirded me out.

Though all five flavors are just kind of tasted like candy, it was weird. Because when I want candy watermelon, or candy strawberry, I generally go for a sucker or a hard candy. I don't grab a bottle of lube and down it to get my fix.

Performance

I admit, after the taste test I wasn't too keen on rubbing this stuff on my junk or anywhere near it. I'm kind of squeamish about foreign chemicals and things and it takes me months to convince myself to try a new shampoo, so this is kind of my own personal anxiety. But, I would have been willing to try it if the texture seemed productive or if the flavor was super crack-addicting yummy.

So I handed it over to my ex to use with one of his masturbation sleeves, and that's when the trouble began.

Even though he used it with a water based lube friendly toy, the lube was sticky and the toy felt totally dry, like rubbing yourself raw with a rubber eraser. Not only that, but it dripped down inside his urethra.

Remember how I said "Blow Pop?"

Now it was like a melted Atomic Fire Ball.

You think the outside of your peen is sensitive? Try setting a chemical fire on the inside!

Luckily he was able to rinse it out quickly, and it only got down in there about an inch, but man oh man you bet that evil scorch lube went in the trash quick.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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Comments
  • U3H
    U3H  
    thanks
  • KinkyKatieJames
    KinkyKatieJames  
    These sound terrible! Thanks for being honest.
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