Happy penis - lubricant by Classic Erotica - review by Blinker

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Happy penis, happy pussy.

Happy penis is worth a try if a penis-flavored penis just isn't cutting it anymore. It's a luxe water-based cream lube that tingles on your tongue and works for intercourse as well as a night of oral.
Published:
Pros:
Unique bottle, nice thickness, and doesn't dry out quickly.
Cons:
Leaves a funky aftertaste.
Rating by reviewer:
3
extremely useful review

Use

Happy Penis is a water-based flavored lube/massage cream that delivers a faint tickle. Slather it on your lover's penis and your mouth may be happy, or at least amused by the Koolaid flavor. I tried this in Cherry Sucker and it's very sweet, almost chemically sweet. Flavored lubes don't normally intrigue me, but this little bottle promised a tingle for my man's dingle and I thought I'd give it a go. It also works wonders as a handjob helper.

Happy Penis DOES contain mineral oil, so be careful if you choose to use this as a lube with any toy made of a material not compatible with oil lubricants, like Jelly or Cyberskin.

The full list of ingredients include Water, Mineral Oil, Cetyl Alcohol, Glyceryl Stearate, PEG-100 Stearate Cetearyl Alcohol, Polysorbate 60, Flavor, Xanthan Gum, Carbomer, Triethanolamine, Sodium Benzoate, Potassium Sorbate, Diazlidinyl Urea, Sucralose, Sodium Saccharin, Disodium EDTA, Red 40, Red 33.

Those prone to yeast infections may want to use caution as this does countain sucralose, a sugar that can facilitate the growth of microbes.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Gag gift
    • Massage
    • Sex
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Bed
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Genital massage
    • Oral
    • Vaginal

Texture / Consistency / Thickness / Viscosity

Happy Penis is almost like a lotion. Well, I guess that's what one would expect from a penis massage cream. It's thick, but not greasy or oily. It absorbs nicely into the skin like a lotion would. The Cherry Sucker flavor smells wonderful, like Jergen's original cherry almond scented lotion (that's what popped into my head anyway). This lube won a few raves from my man and I because it actually stays where it's applied. It doesn't drip or get runny. When it's rubbed into the skin, it sort of melts and a very slight tickle is felt (I really wouldn't use the word tingle to describe it). It takes a bit to actually get the cream out of the bottle because it's so thick. My man and I had to shake the bottle up and down to get the cream moving before it would come out. It's the sloth of the lube species.
    • Creamy
    • Smooth
    • Thick

Taste / Aroma

The cherry flavor tastes very cherry indeed, but with a ripe aspartame aftertaste, which is weird because it doesn't contain aspartame. All in all it isn't a bad taste but I wouldn't want to eat the stuff all day long or suck it out of the bottle. My guy has absolutely no sense of smell so the scent didn't bother him at all, but it does fill the room with a candied smell.
    • Strong smell
    • Strong taste

Performance

To see how happy I could make my man's penis, I started off slathering a small amount on his cock to give him a hand job. He loved the consistency of the cream, and it never became sticky. It just absorbed into his skin and my hands and left them quite soft. I used a lot more product to coat his cock once again and he said it tickled. He said it was a slight tickle that felt almost warm, but he didn't complain. I decided to see how a flavored lube would affect my oral skills so down I went. Oral action did not last too long because overall, the cherry flavor was just slightly overwhelming and annoying. I like the taste of cock, dammit.

After rinsing my mouth out a bit (it leaves its mark in there, I promise you) I came back to bed and we decided to test it out as a sex lube. The tickling/tingling was not felt at all during sex, at least not in my vagina. The lube lasted through the entire session, which is very rare for us. I wouldn't make this a go-to lube by any means, but it was fun to try out. I'm just not a fan of lollipop flavored dicks, I guess.
    • Absorbs into skin nicely
    • Long lasting

Packaging

Happy Penis would actually make a nice gag gift because of the cartoon cocks adorning the bright pink bottle. True to the name of the product, they do indeed look happy. I really like the bottle for this lube. It's shaped like a dildo, yes, but once you screw open the top to remove that annoying little foil piece, all you have to do to dispense the product is pull up on the cap. One hand does the trick to open and close the bottle.

I noticed that the lube that gets left on the bottle top that dries kinda gets a waxy look and feel, like thin melted crayons. You may want to wipe the top down after you're done with the lube.
    • Can be opened with one hand
    • Easy to use / dispense

Experience

If you're looking for a fun flavored lube to spice up your oral routine, I'd recommend Happy Penis. I personally won't use this as a sex lube very often because of the cloying scent, but it's fun to have around and the bottle always gets giggles when my friends see it.
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Comments
  • ruger7mm420
    ruger7mm420  
    ty
  • dsumrow1
    dsumrow1  
    thanks
  • Cat E.
    Cat E.  
    Thanks.
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