Maximus - lubricant discontinued by Bodywise Limited - review by Nazaress

Upon doing some quick research, I found out that Maximus is Latin for "greatest" and "largest". I'd say this is pretty fitting because it's one of the greatest water-based lubricants out there and it can help you take even the largest of toys. Lubricants are liquids that are used in various sexual acts in order to decrease friction, enhancing the experience. They can also be used with toys for the very same reason. They're virtually indispensable in any healthy sex life, whether you're alone or with a partner.

Maximus, specifically, excels at a wide range of uses because it is so incredibly thick for a water-based lubricant. It is best for anal sex, penile masturbation, and masturbators because the consistency will keep it lasting despite its exposure to air and lack of natural lubricant to aid it. It is also good for vaginal sex (and masturbation), as well as toy sex in terms of vaginal use but I have found that it is TOO thick and feels kind of gross, for lack of a better term, when used internally but I'll explain more on that later. Finally, I suppose this could be used for massages but I'm not sure that I'd want to because of the consistency issue that I mentioned. This lubricant can be used with all toy material types because it is water-based and does not have a single silicone in it. It may not be used by everyone, though, based on some of the ingredients included (namely, parabens), which will be explained in the "Special Features" section.

Maximus is incredibly smooth and slick. It is also a really thick lubricant, water-based and otherwise. It has a habit of trying to stick to itself when it's applied and this can be both a good thing and a bad thing. It's a bad thing because it's a little harder to apply than some lubricants but it's a good thing because that means it won't run all over the place and get everywhere. The lubricant is clear and colorless and it doesn't look too much different than water if water were gelatinous and had bubbles throughout it. The texture stays consistent no matter how you use it and it doesn't ever foam up like some lubricants. I did nothing something about some lubricant that was left on the side of the bottle to dry. It gummed up and became a solid, flexible, dry piece of lubricant. It was left to dry for a long time, though, so this is a non-issue when it comes to actually using the lubricant.

As stated before, Maximus is a really thick lubricant. I wanted to see exactly how well it worked, not in terms of performance (though I tested that, as well, as you'll see later in my review) but rather, in terms of how fast it takes to move, drop, etc. I did a few tests to see how well it stayed in place and I was quite impressed. For each of these tests, I used a small pea-sized drop so remember that your mileage will vary when you use a larger amount. In these particular tests, a larger amount will probably result in faster times.

The first test I did was to put a drop of lubricant on my finger and hold it upside down to see how long it would take for it to drip off. My intention was to wait and time it to see exactly how long it would take. After five (5) minutes, however, I gave up. It simply was not moving, despite the fact that it was literally hanging off of my finger like a stalactite. This says to me that the staying power of Maximus is very good. I shook the small drop quite a few times afterwards and it would not drop. I started swinging my hand about wildly and it still clung to my finger. When it finally did start to move, it just turned into a longer drop and clung itself again to my finger. I eventually had to wipe it off because it was clear that it wasn't going to come off by other other means.

Finger Drip Test
Test Time: 5 minutes - No dripping

The second test I did was to put a drop of lubricant on my wrist and hold it vertically at a 90° angle to see how long it took to reach the inside of my elbow. Again, my intention was to wait and time it to see exactly how long it would take. After five (5) minutes again, I gave up. After two (2) minutes, the pea-sized drop had slid to about one (1) inch and after three (3) more minutes, it had only moved less than half an inch more.

Vertical Run Test
Test Time: 5 minutes - Dripped less than 1 1/2 inches

My final test was to put a drop of lubricant on the back of my hand facing upwards, holding it horizontally at a 180° angle, to see how long it would spread on its own accord. After five (5) minutes, it had only spread about one-eighth (1/8) of an inch.

Spread Test
Test Time: 5 minutes - Spread 1/8 of an inch

Maximus has a relatively slight taste and smell. The taste is stronger than the scent and in order to really smell it, you have to hold the bottle up to your nose. I could not detect any scent while actually using the lubricant. It doesn't smell unpleasant but I can't really find words to describe what it does smell like. Whatever the scent is, however, it shouldn't bother you because you can hardly even detect it.

The taste is...strange. I was not expecting it to taste like it did when I licked it. Oddly enough, there is a bit of a sweet taste to the lubricant. It's not the worst-tasting lubricant but it's certainly not the kind of sweet that I would be looking for if I wanted an edible lubricant (which is understandable considering Maximus isn't really meant to be consumed). This paired with the slimy consistency would probably not make it a great candidate for oral sex so you might want to wash it off before going down on anyone, unless you don't mind the taste, consistency, and the fact that it contains parabens.

Maximus is the Cadillac of water-based anal lubricants. It lasts an incredibly long time and it's so nice and thick that it holds up to even the dryest of uses. It does not, however, absorb into the skin well. I tried rubbing it into my skin over and over but it never seemed to dry up. I was left with a residue that reminded me of lotion that doesn't want to absorb completely. This staying power is great because that means it will work well even when it's started to wear thin but it's not so great if you're in a hurry and have no time to wash off the lubricant. This is definitely a lubricant that needs to be washed off. A damp rag should clean it off nicely but you might want to use soap to really feel clean. Because it's a water-based lubricant, it's not likely to work well in the shower so stick to silicone-based lubricants for this purpose. Also, spit or water seems to do more to wash it off than reactivate it so if it starts to dry, you're better off just reapplying it.

I did a few tests to see how long the lubricant lasted and I was not disappointed. For each of these tests, I used a small pea-sized drop so remember that your mileage will vary when you use a larger amount. In these particular tests, a larger amount will probably result in longer times. Whether exposed to air or in a closed environment, even just a drop of Maximus seemed to last a good while. This says to me that using the regular amount that you would normally use should result in a lack of a need to reapply.

The first test I did was to put a pea-sized drop of lubricant on the back of my hand and rub it vigorously in a large circle to see how long it took before the lubricant evaporated and/or absorbed into my skin. This test was meant to show how the lubricant would hold up in open-air situations, such as with jacking-off. It never did evaporate, as I stated before, but it took about two (2) minute and forty-five (45) seconds before it felt too dry to be effectively useable.

Open-Air Test
Test Time: 2 minutes and 45 seconds

The second test I did was to put a pea-sized drop of lubricant on my palm and enclose my hand, rubbing one finger on it vigorously back and forth to see how long it took before the lubricant evaporated and/or absorbed into my skin. This test was meant to show how the lubricant would hold up in closed-air situations, such as with vaginal sex. Again, it never evaporated and after five (5) minutes, I gave up. It was still quite slick and usable at this time so I assume that it could last a while.

Closed-Air Test
Test Time: 5 minutes - Still slick

Vaginal Sex
Maximus is not really a lubricant meant for vaginal sex. Don't get me wrong. It could excel at this activity, just as it does others, because it's thick and long-lasting. However, it feels so slimy and thick in my vagina that I can't really enjoy any sex that has this lubricant involved. Some might not mind the thick consistency, however, so if you think you're the type who could handle something this thick in your vagina, by all means, get Maximus and try it out for this purpose. You definitely shouldn't have to reapply, even if you change positions frequently, so long as you use enough lubricant to begin with.

Anal Sex
Anal sex is the reason for Maximus's existence. It is during this activity which it truly excels. Even those who are new at anal should have little problem with Maximus. The slimy consistency is a God-sent in this particular activity and the struggle and pain that sometimes comes with anal sex should be much better with this lubricant. It may be a bit hard to clean up afterwards but because it has such a great performance, it should be well worth it.

Oral Sex
As stated before, Maximus has a slight taste. It has some long-named ingredients in it that I'm not sure if they're safe to ingest or not. I'm going to assume that they are, overall, but this definitely isn't the lubricant you want to use for dedicated oral sex, especially considering the weirdly-sweet flavor. I would get a flavored, edible lubricant for oral sex and save Maximus for what it's good at. If you wiped off the area and started oral sex, however, you should be fine. The taste isn't entirely horrible and it should be safe, as long as you are not allergic to parabens.

Toy Sex
If you can stand the feel of Maximus, it's great for toy insertion. Most of my toys are not girthy and have uncomplicated shapes so they're easy to slip in with just my own natural lubricant. However, some have more drag to them and have sharp curves (like the Xtreme Pack G-spot Bullet) that make insertion difficult or impossible without some help. This lubricant eliminates that discomfort and difficulty. When I used it vaginally with the Xtreme Pack G-spot Bullet (which I can normally not even insert), I barely felt it as it slipped inside. One application should be all you need for most toys. You may require more than one application, however, if you use extremely porous toys that absorb lubricants more than other materials. This is especially true for masturbators since masturbators tend to be made of porous materials and the lubricant used with them is exposed to air more than with insertable toys.

Masturbation
Maximus is also great for masturbation, both vaginal (if you can get past the consistency) and penile. Most of the lubricants that we have tried for penile masturbation have been a flop. They dry out too quickly because of the friction and the exposure to air. Maximus, however, lasts long, even when exposed to the air, so it's a great lubricant to use for jacking off. You may need to reapply but overall, Maximus would be a good purchase for you if you're looking for a lubricant to serve this purpose.

When I received my Maximus, there was no external packaging. My bottle, in particular, was tied off in a plastic bag but that's because it was paired with another lubricant I purchased (Sliquid Organics Natural) so yours may not come in anything at all. The pump bottle was in the locked position when I got it so that lubricant didn't get all over the place and there was a thin sticker covering the top of it, as well. Beyond that, there is nothing else to the packaging besides the bottle itself. Speaking of the bottle, there is only one size available. It contains 8.45 fl oz. (250 ml).

The bottle is made of completely clear plastic that feels sturdy but also flexible. The cap is made of white plastic and it is fashioned as a pump top. It is able to be locked again, which is nice for travelling, but I have yet to successfully lock it without getting lubricant everywhere so if you're going to try, you'll have to be careful. The entire bottle is wrapped with a clear rectangular sticker that displays all the pertinent information.

The front of the bottle displays the name of the lubricant, "MAXIMUS", in proud, capitalized, black letters. The bottom states that it is "A WATER-BASED SENSUAL LUBRICANT". There is an image of an ionic column (Thank you, History of Architecture) on the right of the front of the bottle and the volume of the bottle is written underneath that. Finally, smack-dab in the middle of the front of the bottle and written sideways, it says "B.N. 40137 BEST BEFORE OCT 2016". I thought this was nice because I've gotten bottles of lubricant that didn't have the expiration date on them so it's useful to know when my lubricant might not work so well. Considering I got this on February 24th, 2012, this lubricant should last a long time if we don't use it all up before it expires.

The left side of the back of the bottle features an image of an ancient-looking pot or vase with what appears to be two men on it doing...something to another ancient-looking pot or vase. Very "Inception"-like, I suppose. The right side of the back of the bottle displays the ingredient list, some company information, and a bar code. The company information that is listed is as follows:

"Manufactured by Bodywise Limited
Unit 8, Enterprise Way, Somerton Trading Estate, Newport Road, Cowes, Isle of Wight P031 8AP (UK)
Tel: +44 (0)1983 248888
Fax: +44 (0)1983 248899
sales@bodywise.biz
www.liquidsilk.com"

With the pump top fully extended, the bottle measures at a height of 7". It has a diameter of 2 1/4" and a circumference of 7 1/4". The bottle isn't too big and it should be fairly easy to hide but it would be much easier to store if the pump top actually locked without spilling lubricant all over the place. The bottle is really discreet, for the most part, as there isn't really anything that screams "sex" besides the text on the front that describes it as a "sensual lubricant". If you managed to get lubricant on the bottle and needed to or just wanted to clean it, it should clean fairly easily. The sticker is sturdy and should stay on nicely, though it wouldn't really matter if it came off since it's not all that important. When turned on its side, it doesn't leak and so overall, it's a pretty nice bottle.

- Bottle
Height: 7"
Diameter: 2 1/4"
Circumference: 7 1/4"

Bottle

Ingredients
Highly Purified Water: Merriam Webster defines water as "the liquid that descends from the clouds as rain, forms streams, lakes, and seas, and is a major constituent of all living matter...and is a poor conductor of electricity and a good solvent". This is water that has been purified ("highly", in this case), simple as that. Unless you're one of the rare individuals who is allergic to water or you're the Wicked Witch of the West, you should be fine with this ingredient.
Roles: SOLVENT

Propylene Glycol: Merriam Webster defines propylene glycol as "a sweet hygroscopic viscous liquid made especially from propylene and used especially as an antifreeze and solvent, in brake fluids, and as a food preservative".
Roles: Fragrance Ingredient; Humectant; Skin-Conditioning Agent - Humectant; Skin-Conditioning Agent - Miscellaneous; Solvent; Viscosity Decreasing Agent; SKIN CONDITIONING; VISCOSITY CONTROLLING

Cellulose Polymer: Merriam Webster defines cellulose as "a polysaccharide of glucose units that constitutes the chief part of the cell walls of plants, occurs naturally in such fibrous products as cotton and kapok, and is the raw material of many manufactured goods (as paper, rayon, and cellophane)". Merriam Webster defines polymer as "a chemical compound or mixture of compounds formed by polymerization and consisting essentially of repeating structural units". Cellulose polymer would simply be polymer of cellulose.
Roles: Undefined

Di Sodium EDTA: Merriam Webster defines EDTA as "a white crystalline acid used especially as a chelating agent, a preservative, and in medicine as an anticoagulant and in the treatment of lead poisoning".
Roles: Chelating Agent; VISCOSITY CONTROLLING

Phenoxyethanol: Merriam Webster does not have a definition for phenoxyethanol. EWG's Skin Deep Cosmetics Database defines phenoxyethanol as "a preservative used in cosmetics and personal care products".
Roles: Fragrance Ingredient; Preservative

Methyl Paraben: Merriam Webster defines methylparaben as "a crystalline compound used as an antifungal preservative (as in pharmaceutical ointments and cosmetic creams and lotions)". Certain individuals are highly allergic to parabens and they can cause burning and discomfort so you may want to be wary of this ingredient if you're not sure of your allergies.
Roles: Fragrance Ingredient; Preservative

Butyl Paraben: Merriam Webster does not have a definition for butylparaben. EWG's Skin Deep Cosmetics Database defines butylparaben as "in the paraben family of preservatives used by the food, pharmaceutical, and personal care product industries. Parabens mimic estrogen and can act as potential hormone (endocrine) system disruptors.". Certain individuals are highly allergic to parabens and they can cause burning and discomfort so you may want to be wary of this ingredient if you're not sure of your allergies.
Roles: Fragrance Ingredient; Preservative; MASKING

Propyl Paraben: Merriam Webster defines propylparaben as "a crystalline ester used as a preservative in pharmaceutical and cosmetic preparations". Certain individuals are highly allergic to parabens and they can cause burning and discomfort so you may want to be wary of this ingredient if you're not sure of your allergies.
Roles: Antioxidant; Fragrance Ingredient; Oral Care Agent; Skin-Conditioning Agent - Miscellaneous; Ultraviolet Light Absorber; ANTIMICROBIAL; ASTRINGENT; EMOLLIENT; HUMECTANT; MASKING; SKIN CONDITIONING; SKIN PROTECTING; TONIC; UV ABSORBER

Credit
Information and Roles: EWG's Skin Deep Cosmetics Database
Definitions: Merriam Webster

I don't really have many issues with Maximus, besides it feel weird in my vagina. It's a great lubricant for people with penises and anal lovers alike. I love that the bottle is see-through because you can always see just how much lubricant you have left. This was a problem that I had with Sliquid Organics Natural due to its dark brown and opaque bottle. I do wish the pump top worked a little better when it comes to locking it again but the pump top itself is nice because you can use it with just one hand. Overall, I don't really have any causes for concern and I would recommend this lubricant to anyone who is absolutely certain that they are not allergic to parabens, like my boyfriend and I knew we were not. It's a great anal lubricant and it has other uses, as well, so you will not regret buying it if you're not allergic to it.

I did not buy Maximus for myself but rather, for my boyfriend. I'm glad I didn't buy it for myself because I really couldn't stand using it the couple of times that I did when I was testing it out. This does not at all mean it's a bad lubricant. On the contrary, it's actually pretty great (if not for the parabens). It's just not the most vagina-friendly in that it is so thick that it feels kind of gross when used vaginally. However, it is this very reason that it makes a fantastic anal lubricant, as well as a good lubricant for any other activity which would require a thick lubricant. When my boyfriend used Maximus to insert an anal toy, it went in fairly well despite the fact that he is new to anal. It also worked pretty good when he used the lubricant for his masturbators. As such, this is THE lubricant to buy if you have a penis that needs masturbating or an anus that needs...inserting into. Or something. We're glad we got Maximus and I'm not really sad about it not feeling right in my vagina because that's the reason I also got Sliquid Organics Natural.