Tastes Like Burning

Note: This is a quote-style review, based entirely on quotes that were uttered during the planning, use, and subsequent conversation about Doc Johnson's three pack of Mood Arousal Gels. I hope you enjoy it more than we enjoyed these gels.

The most important quote: "This is full of yuck."
Published:
Pros
Cute containers, smells good.
Cons
Tastes like burning, feels like nothing.
Rating by reviewer:
1
useful review

Use

While smelling the strawberry: "Mmm. That smells great. I can't wait to try this."

While smelling the others: "I'm less than convinced, but we'll give it a try."

What we said during: see "Taste" section.

What we said after: "I'm so glad you decided to review these AFTER we played around. After tasting those, the last thing I'd want to do is have sex."

P.S. -- If you want to use a really great flavored body drizzle that tastes amazing AND feels good, might I suggest you try Dona Kissable Body Drizzle? It's the only lickable body product I've ever tried that I absolutely love and use over and over again.

Texture / Consistency / Thickness / Viscosity

"It's like Vaseline."

"It's mostly glycerin. That makes sense."

"It's sticky."

"You have to put it on me."

"I don't want to."

"Yes, but you have to."

"I don't want to put it anywhere near you. This stuff is full of yuck."
    • Thick

Taste / Aroma

While tasting the strawberry: "It tastes like burning!"

While tasting the mint: "It's like licking chapstick."

While tasting the cinnamon: "A red hot, but not the good kind of red hot."

"There are bad kinds of red hots?"

"Yes. This kind."

Post mortem thoughts:
"Thank goodness we tested this near Halloween so we had candy nearby to get the flavors out of my mouth."

"Can you hold on with that thought? I need a lollipop. My mouth tastes so bad I can't think about anything else."
    • Bad smell
    • Bad taste

Performance

After sitting with the Tingle Strawberry on my skin for a while:
"Do you feel anything tingling?"
"Aren't you leading the witness?"
"Yes, is it helping?"
"No. I still don't feel anything."

After sitting with the Warm Mint on my skin for a while:
"Well?"
"I, um, I don't know. If I focus, maybe I can feel a little... oh, forget it. I don't feel anything."

After sitting with the Intensify Spicy Cinnamon on my skin for a while:
"How about this one?"
"Shh... be quiet. I'm trying to feel something."
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.

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Comments
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  • Contributor: Allstars316
    Thanks for the review!
  • Contributor: Gone (LD29)
    I think your review was brilliant. I'm sorry your actual experience didn't do as well.
  • Contributor: sunnyc
    Really great review. Thanks!
  • Contributor: Hentialover
    Interesting way to do this review, it was helpful. Thanks for writing.
  • Contributor: LoneOokami
    Thanks for the info.
  • Contributor: cryinglightning86
    A fun review. An interesting way to make your point. Thanks for the information, and sorry things didn't quite go your way!
  • Contributor: sXeVegan90
    Thanks for the review.
  • Contributor: oftheunicorn
    Thanks for the review!
  • Contributor: sammybenny
    thanks for the review!
  • Contributor: freeport
    Thanks for the creative review!
  • Contributor: freeport
    Thanks for the creative review!
  • Contributor: JADE76
    nice review
  • Contributor: dual-stim-lover
    Great review even though it was very odd. But yeah I've always been weary of these kinds of products so hmm maybe I won't jump in just yet. I'll do more research. Thanks for the entertaining review. I do hope you find something you both enjoy and that works for you.
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