Red lace up crotchless panty - crotchless panties by DreamGirl - review by GeekWife

(Full disclosure: The headline for this review was actually uttered during product testing.)

Welcome to another episode of "GeekWife's Eternal Quest For a Good Pair of Crotchless Panties".

First and foremost, I want to touch on sizing. I'm a slightly heavier built size 12/14 (depending on manufacturer) pants size. Now, I *should* have known better, since the product is by DreamGirl who is notorious for sizing down, but I was sold by the size chart telling me that "Large" is equivalent to a 10/14. Let me tell you bluntly: it ain't gonna fit any size 14 pant wearer. Period. I'm pretty comfortably in most 12's and it was pulled to the max of it's puny elastic on my waist. Lucky for me, it's more of a boyshort cut, so I could still fit into it for testing purposes, but just barely. Lesson for you: order the size larger than the one you think you'll need.

Now, this isn't going to be your top of the line lingerie here. You get what you pay for in terms of material and construction. The elastic is flimsy and the lace is thin and can be torn rather easily (although we didn't tear it, even with my sizing faux pas). For the price, you can buy a few pairs and tear 'em up. The lace is cheap, but isn't scratchy, much to my surprise. It's obviously not made of silk, but you're not going to be picking at your ass all night. The lacing on the back is your standard satin ribbon, but I was surprised that it was actually laced through what appear to be the "eye" half of a hook and eye set up, much like a bra. I was fully expecting thread loops. They're metal pieces, sewn in place quite sturdily, and it really does look rather nice.

If I had the right size, I'd fully assume they'd be comfortable enough to wear out on the town, perhaps under a skirt--or hell, even under your jeans-- that you wouldn't feel totally self conscious about it. Your whole hooha isn't out there unless you want it to be. This is something I liked about this particular pair. Big bonus is that the boyshort style doesn't creep up your butt crack unless you want it to.

The crotchless feature on this pair is much more well thought out than some of the other styles I've tried. The placement allows for easy access to front and back, without any bothersome needs for alteration with a pair of scissors. The opening also wasn't really restricted in any way. It was definitely your classic Crotchless Panty construction. My husband reported no issues with being able to get to the parts he wanted to enjoy. Good enough for my needs, I say.

Overall, I'm giving this four stars. If I had half star options, I'd go 4.5. They're not going to be your high end deal, but they're worth the money and they serve their intended purpose. Also, DreamGirl needs to get out into the real world and observe some clothing racks to better determine their sizing recommendations, as we don't all have their models' luxury of Photoshop.

So the tail line.

When you receive these undies, in their nice little soft-sided box (for lack of a better description) that DreamGirl is known for, the lace up detail on the back will be laced as such that the bow is at the bottom. When I put them on, the first words out of my husband's mouth were "Hey, look honey, you have a TAIL!" as he laughed hysterically.

So I unlaced and re-laced so that the bow was at the top. My husband and I both found this set up to be much more aesthetically pleasing. Although, he admitted he still thought I had a tail, just not as much of one.

It's not a bad thing, just be prepared to re-lace. Unless you like the tail look.