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A Battery-Suck: Kindy of Sucky in General

Keep looking. Maybe mine was defective, but even at its best it wasn't as good as other Doc Johnson bullet vibes I've used.
Published:
Pros:
maybe yours will work better
Cons:
sporadic, malfunctioning, not terribly strong on its best days
Rating by reviewer:
1
extremely useful review
I have realistic hopes for a bullet vibe that operates on 2 AAA batteries. I generally assume it's not going to be as strong as some other options and don't denigrate it for failing to be as powerful as something charged by a set of Ds or even AAs. But I expect my bullet vibes, regardless of their battery requirements, to work consistently. I expect that if the bullet offers differing speeds for those various speeds to feel distinctly different from each other. I also expect to be able to figure out how to turn it off without opening the battery compartment, by, let's say, pressing the "on/off" switch.

Call me crazy, tell me I have ridiculous expectations.

But this 10x power bullet only met my requirements on (a brief) first use. All subsequent adventures were marred by malfunctions. Had I just used this vibe once and written a review, you'd be reading a relatively glowing account of a small, cute contraption that was simple to use and relatively effective. My first experience was a very quick jaunt with a brand new pair of batteries and I was left satisfied. The process of inserting the batteries was surprisingly not super intuitive, even though the plastic has clear markers for which end should be positive and negative. I could swear I put them in right at least once before it decided to work.

That first usage I checked that it cycled through several speeds and settings. It was pretty comparable to any multi-speed vibe: the first three levels were just increases in intensity, followed by a range of changing vibration patterns that included quick on-and-off, roller coaster and other common features. I rarely prefer those extra features, but I wanted to make sure they worked for the benefit of a comprehensive review. Everything was fine, perfectly adequate, albeit not earth-shaking.

The next time I used it was with a partner. We fumbled repeatedly trying to get the batteries in right. Helpful note: storing batteries inside the toy is a super bad idea- it just makes them drain faster, so keep them next to the toy and only insert them when it's time for use. Again, I was certain I had them aligned properly at least once before it turned on. Then, in the course of use, the bullet committed the cardinal sin of vibes, the most heinously frustrating thing a sex toy can do: randomly stop and start. It just simply halted without warning. If I pushed the "on" button, it came right back on for a random, unpredictable period of time and then stopped, regardless of the angle at which it was held. Eventually I grew so irate that I tossed it aside and grabbed another, more reliable toy.

The next time I tried to give it one last shot, as it had been effective once. I tried a whole slew of brand new batteries, differing combinations of pairs of AAAs, with no response from the toy. Randomly, as if sensing that I was about to give up on it completely, it turned on. The buzz was not super intense, so I tried to cycle up to a different speed. No luck. It just held in the same intensity, whether I pushed the cycle button or the on/off button. You read that right, I couldn't get it to change speed OR EVEN TURN THE HELL OFF. Opening the battery compartment finally ended the ruse.

My assessment: this jawn is not your friend and shouldn't be considered on par with the other Doc Johnson products with which I have had far superior success. For that reason, I'm not going to bother with cleaning advice or materials information. Just keep looking.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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Comments
  • Miss Nessa
    Miss Nessa  
    Veary good review! Thanks for sharing!
  • Eva Schwaltz
    Eva Schwaltz  

    Sorry this was really frustrating, thanks for reviewing.
  • Nothere
    Nothere  
    I'm sorry it didn't word, but good review!
  • SiNn
    SiNn  
    awesome review ty
  • Ryuson
    Ryuson  
    Thanks for the review; sorry that this one didn't work out for you!
  • Sunshineamine
    Sunshineamine  
    Great review. Sorry you had more headaches than fun with this one
  • sweet seduction
    sweet seduction  
    Thanks for the review!
  • KaraSutra
    KaraSutra  
    Thanks for the review! Pretty great and I'm sorry it didn't work as well as one might hope
  • sktb0007
    sktb0007  
    Thanks hun!
  • Do emu
    Do emu  
    Its always disappointing when a toy doesn't meet expectations. Thanks for reviewing though.
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